Work, Learn, Rest, Cuddle
by Some Chinese Guy
Summary: I want to do things for Yukino Yukinoshita. I want to do nice things to Yukino Yukinoshita. I want to spend time with Yukino Yukinoshita. I want to touch her, hear her voice, watch expressions on her face. What do I do about it all?
1. Prologue

Prologue. Lately I don't get much sleep

Lately I don't get much sleep.

All the usual suspects are there: Vita-chan plugged into the charger to replenish the drained battery on my desk; half of my manga and light novels collection having had migrated from the bookshelf into my room, the sheer numbers making Tatar-Mongols green with envy; the most recent episodes of all the ongoing stuff aired at otaku o'clock having been watched on our living room TV and diligently recorded. The suitcases under my eyes tell the whole story to anyone interested, and teachers have to make efforts to wake me up.

I only barely make exceptions for Hiratsuka-sensei's class: while certainly having mellowed on me in the last half a year, she still was a force to be taken into account. Quite literally. Seriously, stop trying all the wrestler moves you know on me. It's tsujigiri at this point. Would it hurt you to show more of your feminine side, sensei? Driving a left-hand wheel sports car, knowing your ramen and being a wilderness survival expert surely isn't all you have, is it?

No wonder finding a spouse is so hard for her. What kinda man would take her if she puts most men to shame by being way manlier? The only one to even dare would be, what, some manly paragon of manliness who wrestles bears, assembles monster trucks and prefers the original Devilman to the remake? By the way no offense, Yuasa-sensei. It's just, well... It's Hiratsuka-sensei we're talking about. Can't cut corners here.

My point is: dear pinnacle of testosterone evolution, whoever you are, wherever you are, please, take the poor sensei! Or it'll have to be me!..

Yeah.

Right.

No.

How many times have I repeated that phrase in my head? Five times? Fifty five? It doesn't really matter since it's one of those resolutions I'll never fulfill. And I can't even blame the ten year age gap or that teacher-student realtionship is a no-no for our society. Imagine that, those are quite valid reasons and I still won't use them.

And the main reason I don't use them, that head culprit, is by a strange coincidence the source of my insomnia, a condition that is honestly to be expected given the circumstances.

Why, you would ask? "Why" is half the reason I can't get no sleep in the first place, the other half being sheer dumbfoundedness for the mere thought of what I'm getting insomnia for. It's so awkward, surprising and even somewhat embarrassing that the first two sleepless nights were spent pondering what my mind is refusing to process... and the remaining five roaming through this plane of consciousness in silent disbelief at myself, finding the words, sentences, paragraphs to formulate the explanation, rationalize it, systematize it to better understand; only to then review the result, find it completely unsatisfying, throw it away and start all over.

All to answer a single question: am I really capable of such a feat?

Of being preoccupied with one particular girl?

Try telling that to my younger self and you'll get a healthy laughing fit. Keep telling him it's true and you may even be rewarded with a punch to the face. Well, attempt to, anyway. Let's be honest about my fighting skills here.

The most mind-boggling, and paradoxically the most expected of it all, though, is that the girl in question is Yukino Yukinoshita.

There, I said it.

I've just used more than half a thousand words forming very convoluted sentences in the previous paragraphs alone to convey the fact that I'm losing sleep over Yukinoshita. Can you wrap your head around the fact? Because obviously I still can't. Help needed badly.

No, really.

Why _all this_?

Fine. I'll try to summarize and categorize it all again. Let's make a thousand and one attempt instead of just thousand, why don't we.

* * *

Where to begin...

Alright, let it be the end of my high school first year.

By that time I'd already got myself familiarized with my school: remembered the main building's layout, memorized the faces of my classmates and recognized most of our teaching staff's ticks and quirks.

That naturally excluded the club wing, for no club like go home club; anything beyond my classmates' general clique affiliations because screw them, really; and anything not related to stuff to be careful about around certain teachers because screw them too for good measure.

By this time I also had heard a dozen or so things about Yukinoshita. Some flattering (stunning beauty, academical achievements, adored by teachers), most not (cold, uppity, untouchable bitch, in many different variations). This, combined with the one or two times I've seen her close enough, resulted in me classifying her as a typical high-class high-maintenance vixen and thus someone I had zero things to do with, subsequently losing all interest.

Okay, maybe not _all_ interest. I saved some for late night sessions, if you know what I mean. But then again, the same was true for Yuigahama, Kawasaki, Shiromeguri-senpai, some other pretty girls...

For the record: male fantasies revolve around women they know first and foremost, gravure idols come distant second. Source: me.

Don't tell them, by the way. I don't know why but I have a feeling they won't like it.

Then, in the beginning of the second year, that stupid essay happened. If you think I should be smart enough to know better than to write 300-odd words of "screw you and that rosy high school illusion of yours"... then you're absolutely right. To this day I still can't say why exactly I kept writing essays in such a manner. Maybe I was... gasp... rebellious deep down beneath all that pile of introverted laziness after all? Who would've thought.

So. The essay. Which lead to me being dragged to the club wing and meeting the Service Club. Active members: one. President: Yukino Yukinoshita. Club advisor: Hiratsuka-sensei. Not at all in desperate need of new members, thank you very much.

Except I was going to be one and simultaneously the first client. When and what for was this club founded again?..

It was then when life made me properly look at her up close. The girl quietly reading by the window was really what I expected: cold, distant, unapproachable.

Yet, as I watched on, I realized that I was drawn in like a moth. And not just for the silky smooth long black hair, the porcelain-white skin, the stunning blue eyes, the lithe figure accentuated by expertly tailored uniform, the shapely calves showing below the uniform skirt, the... Um. Off track again. Got it.

But not just that. At that moment, as I took a closer look, it dawned on me she wasn't cold and unapproachable, just serene, at peace and concentrated on her book. That was something I never ever seen a real girl do. And I am very certain it was this combination of looks and impression that made break my resolution of Not Contacting Women Ever, Period.

So I did approach Yukino Yukinoshita. That all I had in return was jabs at my personality, face and eyes, generously sprinkled with insinuations about me being a ferocious sexual predator, was absolutely expected from her. What do you know, rumors did have some basis to them. Not to mention I kinda was a sexual predator... in a broader meaning of the word, mind you.

What was not expected were those moments, those briefest little things that allowed me to sneak glimpses into her psyche. I saw not just another pretty rich girl. I saw a pariah suffering for her smarts, a person with strong convictions and a deep dissatisfaction with society and its rituals, facades and superficiality. I saw someone striving to change that. I saw someone willing to do something I had long given up on.

I saw a kindred spirit, the one which I wouldn't mind being my friend.

The one who also admittedly had a different opinion about the latter, and thus I've experienced yet another humiliating rejection. That was harsh by the way, you.

I spent the rest of that day trading barbs with her and generally trying to get an upper hand. When she finally flipped her book shut, gathered her stuff and left home I felt I failed at that, badly. In hindsight, though, I really did get an upper hand. Noo, not by challenging her beliefs. By getting under her skin.

And, reluctantly, I do admit she was right. This indeed was the first meaningful conversation with a girl I'd ever had. For that matter life had taught me that, as far as meaningful conversations with girls go, that one wasn't half bad.

Naturally the vengeance, being her cred, was in full force for a long time afterwards. Yuigahama can say about us being in our little world all she wants: Yukinoshita absolutely wouldn't back down and was very expressive in treating me like trash at first. And I still remember that juice you haven't paid for, don't think I've forgotten! You hear me?

Yet I couldn't deny her earnest effort to help Yuigahama, as best as she could. Yuigahama saw that too, as she was not just awestruck, but wanting to be friends. Good things do happen, Yukinoshita: you now have a friend and... a not friend. Let's call it that for now.

Bottom line: whether it's her weird but consistent moral code, her determination or her deeply hidden kindness, Yukino Yukinoshita had certainly grown on me.

But just as I saw something in her that made me change my mind, to my surprise, so did she. I can't clearly pinpoint what that was exactly, though I dare think it's my creative and out-of-the-box solutions; hey, a man needs something to be proud of.

All I can say is, she did take a closer look and reconsidered.

Thus I learned that despite her being a refined upper-class girl and all, Yukino Yukinoshita was nonetheless a... _girl._

She could get flustered at a mere mention of her being cute.

Her Pan-san obsession was oddly endearing.

Her catlike quirks would put Kamakura to shame, and don't even get me started on having her close to an actual cat: watching a proud cold posh beauty turn into a mewing dope had my world shaken and put on its head, forever.

Last but not least, her tiny unsure attempts at being touchy-feely with me melted my poor weathered loner heart time and again.

There were also signs of the storms to come. I could write off her disdain of Hayama for her general fear of boys. But those remarks about my and Komachi's sibling relationships, that drop of her glass when Kawasaki said a bit too much, those revelations at the camp... There was something going on with our perfect Ice Queen, not so subtly hinted at by her caring big sister.

When Haruno-san had later finally dropped the bomb and revealed Yukinoshita was involved in that damn car crash, I felt drained. Spending the whole Summer figuring out what to think of Yukinoshita was more than enough already, and thanks to that new bit of info I've spent the rest of it thinking how to conduct myself before our dear club president now.

Or what should I do with that image of her I had in my head, an image that now had shattered into a million merrily ringing shards.

Next September, as you can guess, wasn't pretty. We both decided that pretending nothing happened and everything was business as usual would be the best course of action. The result was, how do I put it, awkward. To be precise, it was soul-crushingly draining, mentally taxing, generally stupid, and awkward.

At that time I really was on the verge of cutting contacts with her until the school festival happened. You may remember that one. You know, the one where Minami Sagami the organization committee chairwoman adorably stuttered at the opening speech and gave a heartfelt closing ceremony that drove her to tears. Yeah, that one.

Fun little fact: it was Yukino Yukinoshita who carried it all on her perfect pretty shoulders. Almost all alone. By working herself into the ground. Because, burdened by the guilt about the whole car crash debacle and being playfully poked into mindless submission by her aforementioned caring big sister, she decided to prove something to everyone.

So she took on the work not yet finished by the slacking committee members. Then she became the de facto committee chairperson after Sagami plain declared that having fun was more important, subtly goaded into that by the aforementioned caring big sister of Yukinoshita's. She took on even more work when even more committee members realized they could slack off entirely. More, more and yet again more.

Amidst this idiocy parade, watching it all quietly spiral into an insane Kafkaesque comedy, I suddenly realized one immensely funny thing.

Yukino Yukinoshita, demon superwoman, a genius who can learn anything in an instant, a walking encyclopedia, a capable organization committee member, and so on and so forth.

That very same Yukino Yukinoshita is bewilderingly, surprisingly, staggeringly, hilariously, horrendously bad with people.

Forget hiding stuff from me, forget dodging Yuigahama's cuddling like the grumpy cat she was, Yukinoshita wasn't even courageous enough to demand people to do their damn job. Which wasn't funny at all! I had to work long hours because of that, you know!

In short: not only was Yukinoshita cold, sharp-tongued, arrogant, but also, it turns out, not the most communicative person around to boot. As far as everyone around her was concerned that would be the last nail.

Yet Yukinoshita was earnest, hard-working and willing to pay the price for her mistakes. Yukinoshita was actually kind, compassionate and capable of slowly opening up to those she trusted. Yes, even me.

So, later, when I came to visit her during her sick leave, weak and miserable and putting on a brave front and tired and lonely, for the life of me I couldn't find any contempt inside myself. For the second time in my life I looked at her and saw a girl. Awkward, clumsy, bound by obligations, genuinely bewildered by me and Yuigahama helping her, nevertheless very _adorable_ girl.

You guessed it. I chose to support Yukino Yukinoshita. Which I did, in my own way.

No, stomping that condescending bitch Sagami into the ground, while very satisfying, was just an icing on the cake. Because by the end of the festival I entered the clubroom and saw Yukinoshita quietly filling out some form, at peace, serene and concentrated. That sight of her had resurrected my long lost inner calm.

She said sorry, in her own way, I forgave her in mine. She smiled at me and my heart skipped a bit, the strange feeling of _happiness_ slowly kindled inside.

We had reached an understanding the we both enjoy each other's company and were fine with our quirks. That newly gained trust was... something incredible. So incredible that I decided to perform a stupid social experiment and ruin it all.

I don't want to bring up _all_ of what happened, as it was quite painful. It took me a set of some other stupid mistakes, an election of Iroha Isshiki for student council president(don't remind me), a sleepless night and all of my courage to speak my mind and make that embarrassing claim about something genuine (gaaaah somebody kill me!). Yet I can't stress enough of how worth it was.

Not just because we could trust each other again. It was then when Yukinoshita started to be truly _caring and affectionate_ to me. All those smiles, all that help and those MAX Coffee cans she gave me while I was busy, all the treatment in the infirmary when everyone else basically didn't care. When I remembered that haughty vengeful girl from before, I couldn't help but laugh.

But good times didn't last because of course they didn't, for the storms to come finally decided it was about damn time.

Meeting with the Yukinoshita matriarch suddenly answered all of my questions about everything wrong and strange with their youngest daughter, but was only a start. First the hints about Yukinoshita and Hayama's arranged marriage (I'm sorry if your stomach churned right now; mine churned all the same). Then her mother guilt-tripping our dear president in plain sight, then the decision to move Haruno-san in with her, then Yukinoshita's breakdown, then Yuigahama deciding to figuratively go for the kill...

That was just too much. For the third time in I saw this girl. A girl slowly breaking apart, an empty shell of once proud and smart and compassionate person I had admired so much, in dire need for _help._ I had to intervene, to speak my mind however awkwardly I could.

Back then I thought it was all simply to save the last remnants of my worldview and perception of all things I knew. Obviously that wasn't _all_ there was to it. What was it then? Well, enter the Insomnia Week. You know the rest.

* * *

I have been quietly and dutifully observing her this whole time; partly ruminating on her request ("Please help me stand on my two feet". So surprising, yet so... not); partly noticing her behavior. Most of the time she isn't different from usual, and even my careful questions about her sharing the apartment with Haruno-san are only met with a soft smile and an "I'm managing, no need to worry".

Other times she also is no different from usual, except one look at her and I suddenly have this nagging desire to abruptly hug her, stroke her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright, that she has us... has _me._

That makes me very uncomfortable: not only had I never experienced that before, but also perfectly realize I want not so much to console her but to feel the silky hair with my palm, savor the petiteness of her body underneath my other arm and enjoy the tickling feeling of her hair under my nose.

Egoistic jerk.

How do I even know it should be like that? Extrapolating from the hugs Komachi had given me in the past wouldn't be a correct way to imagine this stuff, right? Why am I even thinking about it in the first place?

It's not that I should even be surprised. Really though: after all the happenstances I remember, after summating all my thoughts and feelings... The answer's right here.

Time to allow myself to admit it. Let the pieces of a puzzle finally click into place so the result would hit me on the head like an anvil. A pink, heart-shaped hundred ton anvil.

I want to do things for Yukino Yukinoshita.

I want to do nice things _to_ Yukino Yukinoshita.

I want to spend time with Yukino Yukinoshita.

I want to touch Yukino Yukinoshita, hear her voice, watch expressions on her face.

I can finally say that to myself with confidence. And she probably would not mind, which is what scares me the most.

So.

What do I do about it all?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. Her Expression Reminded Me

"Well, I'll be damned," Hiratsuka-sensei thoughtfully puffed a cloud of smoke while raising her brows and staring at nothing in particular, "it finally happened. Hachiman Hikigaya, antisocial extraordinaire, has fallen in love. God help us all."

That's right. Me sorting stuff in my head clearly wasn't enough, so I had this bright insight to share my thoughts with the only adult I knew who would listen. As a result, here we were sitting at the glass coffee table in the teachers' lounge, with Sensei having just nicely summated the whole conundrum it took me a week to solve.

Wonder if I was getting dumb actually.

That aside, there was something in her words that made me flinch.

"What makes you think I'm in _love?"_

"What else should I think then? Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, pretty sure it's a duck." Sensei put out her cigarette in the ashtray and curiously eyed me. "Don't tell me you're too ashamed to admit it because the fact breaks your hardened loner persona."

Yes, I did trust her, but explaining the whole Orimoto thing was a bit... no. Just no.

"I..." I paused, sighed, scratched my head, sighed again for good measure and finally continued: "I don't wanna say it aloud until I'm fully sure."

"Have confessed to someone before and regret it?" Sensei saw something on my face and immediately backpedalled. "Sorry, sorry, won't pry."

Fine by me.

"Anyway..." I hesitantly picked up the previous conversation, "You sounded surprised."

"Sure did, yeah. I mean, I wanted you both to help each other and I'd really wish you become friends, which you thankfully did-"

"Yukinoshita begs to differ-"

"-pretty sure it's a duck and keep quiet when others are talking dammit!" She started tapping her foot in irritation, then stopped. "So yeah, love and all that is a separate matter entirely. But, if you want my opinion..." Sensei crossed her legs, leaned back and clasped her hands on her knee, "Well, go for it."

Long silence followed. I really expected Sensei to talk me out of the whole ordeal.

"Just like that?"

"Yep."

Silence followed again while Hiratsuka-sensei was lighting another cigarette.

"I don't know zilch about relationships." I finally said.

"Neither does Yukinoshita." Sensei shrugged. "Nor do I. You know, generally, word of advice: if someone says they do, they deserve a hard slap on the face."

"But you had quite a lot of them-"

"Mhmm." She wisely nodded. "My point still stands."

"Then maybe you should learn more your...self..." I trailed off after seeing Sensei's twitching eye.

"Another word of advice, Hikigaya. Just for you, out of generosity." She forced a strained smile. "Learn when not to push it. In fact, it will come in real handy when you start dating girls. So they, you know, won't beat you senseless."

"Frankly, that's your specialty. And Yuigahama's. Maybe also Kawasaki's." I gloomily recounted. "By the way, Yukinoshita never tried to be physical with me."

That totally made her superior to you all- oh wait, she didn't have to. She hurt in other ways. All Yukinoshita women did. Probably ran in the family. Nevermind.

"Hmmm, I see what you did there," Sensei's smile became way less strained and more mischievous. I promptly ignored it.

"I just don't think it's a good time for Yukinoshita." I then carefully continued. "She now has to live with her sister and I really don't know anything about what's going on there."

"That's a valid concern," Hiratsuka-sensei nodded. "This may not be a good time to start a relationship. But, if you really think hard about it... there never really _is_ a good time for a relationship. Like, you know... Maybe you've seen that overseas drama about a spy fellow who was rejected by his agency. His life was basically solve a major problem, solve another major problem in parallel, then deal with his love life, yet then do something about his family... you get the idea. What I wanna say is, we all are pretty much the same minus all the cool spy stuff. That's just how it goes."

I heavily sighed.

"It's not like I'm like that fellow. Where's even the guarantee it will work out?"

"Yeaah, that's the hardest part, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka-sensei chewed the butt of her cigarette. "How do I put it... There's no guarantees. Ever."

"Thanks. That's reassuring."

"That's just how it goes." She solemnly repeated.

"So you encourage me to do something without any guarantees. Awfully insistent even."

"I have an incentive to do so," Sensei replied in a little too serious tone. "Do you know that our great country is on a steady birthrate decline which will inevitably lead to a demographic catastrophe? At times like this all the responsible people can't help but resort to desperate measures. And both you and Yukinoshita are two geniuses among those to potentially give birth to an ultimate ruler who will lead Japan to prosperity and world dominance again!"

She then looked at me and almost swallowed her cigarette as she started laughing.

"Best Kazumaface ever! You're awesome! Totally worth it!"

Yep, I'm Kazuma.

"Glad to hear that," I darkly replied trying to bring my face back to normal. I didn't do it on purpose, no, really, I didn't.

"Alright, alright... whew. " Sensei had finally caught her breath. "I have this theory... All people in the world are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Most are compatible, may as well say interchangeable, like in those sixteen-piece ones for little kids. People like you and Yukinoshita though, you belong to a different one. Sorta like those with a forest by the lake under a bright summer sky. And you both are supposed to fit somewhere in the middle of the sky portion. So, uhhh... My point is, you're too unique and never fit anywhere but together with each other. Sure, you can cut off the parts sticking out and repaint the piece, yeah. Normally it brings a lot of pain but alright, knock yourself out if want it that badly. Though I suggest you at least try someone who fits first. By the way, these lake and forest jigsaw puzzles are the best gift to someone you hate. They'll sure remember that. For life."

She lightly tapped on the glass surface with her fingers before speaking again.

"There's also another thing. You don't have much time, really. Most probably Yukinoshita will study abroad for the next year, I heard talks about it even before she enrolled. New country, new faces, new opportunities. New someone to change her. Remember what I talked about back then in December? Yeah, was talking about this. When she comes back- _if_ she comes back- she may become a different person entirely. I know what you wanna say. You have a snowball's chance in hell of trying to oppose her mother. Even if you start dating for, what, less than two months?.. Yeah, about two months. You'll then have to enter a long-distance relationship afterwards. I know how those go. But... but... there's this 'but'..."

She chewed the cigarette butt and suddenly leaned over the desk, closer to me, with a gleam of grim determination in her eyes.

"Snowball's chance in hell is still bigger than no chance. That jigsaw puzzle you belong to is too unique. The changes you made in each other are too significant. I see that. I have been seeing that the whole year. You're both more wholesome now. Friendlier. _Happier._ You're not strangers to each other anymore. Give it a shot. Even if it doesn't work out, even if you will shudder at a mention of her name for years after you part... just... I know what I'm talking about. It's still better than the _other way_. I..."

Sensei stopped mid-sentence, then heavily leaned back into her sofa. Several seconds which felt like minutes later the massaged the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry. Probably said more than I should have." She laughed bitterly. "You're not the only one to have a history of regretting a whole lot of stuff. I really sounded like I was pushing you into some sort of a melodrama for shits and giggles. Sorry again."

I mutely nodded.

"I... Just don't wanna sugarcoat it for you." She finally continued. "A cynical boy falling in love with a pretty girl from the most screwed-up family in the 'hood. No way in hell would it end up _normal."_

"Figured that much, yeah."

"So will you?.."

"Yes," I firmly said, surprising even myself. "I will."

Hiratsuka-sensei took a drag and looked at me with squinted eyes.

"Changed a lot alright." She nodded to herself, puffing a big cloud of smoke.

It's not that I changed. I simply had come to the same conclusion eventually, about that "nothing ending up normal" bit.

My youth romantic comedy really was wrong. No surprises here.

One last thing left though...

"There's..." I uttered thoughtfully, "There's also Yuigahama."

"What about her?"

"I'm..." I hesitated. "I'm sure she feels something for me too..."

Her stare hardened.

"Pick one, ladykiller."

"I have already." Why would I come for an advice otherwise? "Just... what should I do about her?"

"Gently turn her down. What other options do you have?"

"I could make a harem, I guess." I shrugged.

This time Hiratsuka-sensei at least managed to put her cigarette on the tray before almost rolling on the floor laughing again.

"Ohhh jeez. Hachiman Hikigaya the Mighty Harem Master." She held her sides, her laugh never stopping. "Confident as all hell he can handle two women. You're such a fun lad today! Will probably compensate all the cigs I've been smoking all the time!"

I really meant that as a joke, Sensei. No need to kick me while I was down.

She straightened up, wiped small tears out of her eyes and sighed.

"You sure you can even handle one? Older experienced people regularly try and fail. Just saying."

"I know, I know, "I looked aside, unable to return the gaze. "That'll leave her heartbroken."

"Hikigaya," Sensei said after picking up her cigarette and fixing me with a stare. "Jokes aside. Serious time. One broken heart out of three is still way better than three out of three. Yeah, how do I put it... Ah, right. Remember Haruki? You wanna be like Haruki?"

I paused.

"N-no."

"Good." She nodded approvingly. "Glad my relevant contemporary references hit home."

Is it me or did she stress "contemporary"?.. Somebody take her! I won't even do that instead anymore!

"Are you sure she will be okay?"

"She will. People heal, Hikigaya. Just give it time. And take care of yourself and Yukinoshita while you're at it."

Well, that wrapped it for today.

"I think that'll be all then. Thanks, I guess," I rose up. "For everything. Never really thought you'd be that patient with me."

"No biggie," Sensei shrugged and took another drag, her eyes looking somewhere far away. "Had a feeling it would be like this. Aaaall the way back when I was herding you to the Service Club..."

* * *

And there I had it, my newly found resolve to push forward. Well, maybe not so much a resolve as so many things to overcome that my brain gave up and hung a huge "Que Sera Sera" sign on the door.

With these thoughts I opened the clubroom door while thinking of basically what to do next.

"Evening, Hikigaya-kun."

"Hikki, where have you been?"

One introverted bookworm greeting me softly, one ditzy airhead halfheartedly pouting at me. Our normal usual Service Club. A safe harbor of serene stability no matter what next dramatic stunt we all would perform.

At least, I really hoped so.

"Yeah, umm... Guidance councelling. Sorry for not notifying." The best lies are the ones where you're not even lying. Technically that makes the truth the best lie. Huh. "The best lie is the truth". Gotta write it down somewhere. One sophisticated philosopher, me.

"Bummer. And here I was aiming for your cookies," Yuigahama smiled brightly and pushed my saucerful of snacks to me.

I received my Pan-san mug and nodded thanks to Yukinoshita, who gave a brief nod and a smile in response then returned to her seat. I took a second to look at her with some more attention than normal. She looked as usual to me. No "Hug Her and Whisper Soothing Words" to evoke from me today. Which was good, because I needed the better part of this evening for my favorite pastime: procrastinating, thinking and making plans.

Now, mug was on the desk nearby, the book was in my right hand, my chin was in the left. I just needed to turn the pages periodically so as not to raise suspicions.

All good? All good. Let's plan the crap outta this like the monster of logic I was.

Now, if I wanted to do something together with Yukinoshita, the next logical step would be to inform her I wanted to be more... romantic? I'd hope (tentatively), and not so bluntly anyway. Closer? Sure, but not quite. Physical? Uhhh no, bad idea.

Why did it all have to be so hard? Alright, Let's settle on "not just clubmates" for now, for my own sake.

So, I wanted to inform Yukinoshita about my intentions. How is this normally done?

According to my observations, the simplest straightforward way was just to approach her and say aloud "please go out with me". Possible locations included her classroom, clubroom, school corridor and somewhere on her way home.

If I were then to assess the situation and elaborate on locations' pros and cons further, I'd come to a conclusion that no way in hell I'd do something like that in public. We'd both die of shame. Hell, I want to die of shame as I'm writing these very words! Not to mention there were unaccounted Yukinoshita's classmates, my classmates, Yukinoshita's fanboys, Yukinoshita's fan _girls_ , Yuigahama... and maybe even Haruno-san.

God, who did I want to go out with? It was one angry Komachi away from Romeo and Juliet. Couldn't even be Hikoboshi and Orihime because those were at least technically alive by the end of the tale.

Haruno-san was also another matter entirely. A totally different beast, if you might. With "beast" being underlined twice for importance. After knowing Yukinoshita's older sister for so long I couldn't even identify her in a brief and precise manner. Claiming to support, yet endlessly testing. Understanding, yet pushing buttons seemingly out of boredom. Manipulative and doing everything to reach her goal, yet sad and somewhat... _broken._ She was a dark horse, one hell of a wild card.

Which side was Haruno-san on? Their mother ordered her to move in with Yukinoshita; what was she supposed to do besides living and obviously assessing her sister's state of mind? Did that also include stalking her? Checking her phone? Having long talks just like they did to me in elementary school? I shuddered at the thought.

That "stalking" bit made me pause too. Nowadays she probably wouldn't even need her parent's resources and connections: installing a GPS tracker on the target's phone was more than enough to later pester them with uncomfortable inquiries.

The question was: would Haruno-san go that far? Did she thoroughly follow her mother's presumed instructions or did she quietly sabotage any attempts at control and actually let Yukinoshita be as free as possible given the circumstances?

Knowing her it could be both. For all intents and purposes I could safely assume her modus operandi was "For the Greater Lulz".

Fine then, let's be paranoid. Slowly and carefully invite a healthy bit of paranoia into my mind.

Now, given my healthily paranoid state of mind, where would I take Yukinoshita for a date?

...

Now, let's set aside my healthily paranoid state of mind for a minute and be utterly bewildered by the fact I was going to take Yukinoshita on a date.

...

Hachiman Hikigaya, taking Yukino Yukinoshita on a date.

...

Again.

Hachiman Hikigaya, a loner who until recently couldn't even communicate with girls properly, was planning to take Yukino Yukinoshita, school's most beautiful Ice Queen, on a date. Did you hear that roar from the depths of hell? Hello to you too, dear existential angst, long time no see.

What had my life become? Or was it possibly what great people thought when they were about to do great things? Alexander Eiffel looking at a building site of his tower, Edwin Aldrin about to step onto the Moon's surface, Hachiman Hikigaya planning a date... One small step for humanity, but one giant leap for Hachiman...

Fine, fine. Date location.

Where would I take a girl who was being watched on? If she indeed had a bugged phone, I'd be busted no matter what I'd do. I thus had no choice but to assume her phone wasn't bugged. While we were on the subject, I also had to assume Yukinoshita wouldn't be tailed or under surveillance at school either.

With that being said, downtown Chiba was the most obvious choice, so I rejected it immediately. Too many privy eyes who knew her (let's be frank, no one cared about me), not to mention too many people in general. If I knew something about Yukinoshita, it was that she handled crowds as badly as I did.

Downtown Chiba complications also extended to basically all of the Keio line up to probably Funabashi. Add to that most of the eastern part of the city along the monorail, so everything up to Tsuga was out too, while the rest up till Chishirodai was too far away.

How come it was so hard to hide one pretty girl in a city with a population of one million(as of February 1, 2016)?

Further north was Tokyo, but taking an express train to reach even Asakusa would take a better part of an hour. Keeping in mind we both had to skip the club meeting to minimize the suspicions that barely left maybe an hour and a half. And crowds. Downtown Chiba had nothing on Tokyo's bustling hive.

North by north east was Inbanuma lake. Beautiful landscapes, lake view, mountains in the distance... and also an hour ride from school. Strike that.

All that was left was Chiba's south. Machinery plants, parts of Tokyo port... Yukinoshita didn't seem like a fan of industrial landscapes. Neither did I. Strike that.

I was out of options. That meant I needed to take five to procrastinate some.

I flipped a page and took a sip from my cup. Even lukewarm tea still had all the nice sourness, faint sweetness and softly bitter aftertaste. How does she do it, I wondered. Making a carefully calculated lazy head turn I looked in the girls' direction. They both now were engrossed in their activities: reading and twiddling with the phone.

Time to shift my gaze to something else to avoid being caught. She definitely would be checking me out the corner of her eye. Too many occurrences when she commented on my actions before.

...Wait, a wild thought occurred. Why did she do it?.. Not now. Begone, wild thought. Important procrastination in progress.

Behind the girls was the sight of Tokyo Bay slowly burning in the sunset. Would probably be nice to take Yukinoshita to the shore, have a seat with a bottled coffee and combini sandwiches and just quietly enjoy it somewhere, now that the snow was gone and it became considerably warmer... haha, wishful thinking already. What a dope I was sometimes.

Though... hold that thought.

How about Inage Seaside Park right between the school and the shore? Taking Yukinoshita there was so stupidly bold it went all the way round to being genius. Enough greenery, unobstructed view of the sea, right there under everyone's noses. To say the least, _daring._

Maybe even too daring. Though the thought brought up two other options.

One was Kasai Rinkai park. That was just two stations from school on Keio line, though given the risk I'd rather take a bus... yep, two separate bus routes to get there. We had been there already on that fateful triple "date" with Yuigahama, but the park still was big and not often-visited enough to get lost effectively.

The other one was Mihama Koen near Yukinoshita's very home. Even less chances of meeting someone from our school and even more chances of meeting Haruno-san. What was less dangerous? Hahaha, silly me, both equally were, because Haruno-san would know either way eventually. And then our days would be numbered and the only choice left would be to enjoy what little time we had.

Things to Do in Chiba When You're Dead, heh. Hehehe, hahahahahaha. Sigh.

Alright, Inage Seaside Park, Makuhari Bus if something goes wrong, then either Kasai Rinkai or Mihama Koen. Seemed like a plan. Nothing else came up anyway.

Where does one study about choosing secret date locations for rich girls with strict parents? I needed it!

One last part remained: to actually invite Yukinoshita and survive a crushing rejection argh no what was I thinking bad brain. I was doing all this planning and calculations definitely not to be rejected. Why would anyone deliberately invite women to a date to get rejected? Some kind souls on 2chan actually suggested that to loners like me. They weren't met with warm reception.

Seriously though: how?

Phone message was out of the question since her phone could be checked and, most importantly, I still didn't have her number nor mail address. Despite knowing her for close to a year. Yes, we were that bad. No salvation for us.

What else... Service Club's email address? Yuigahama didn't really check the laptop without us around. _Or did she?_ , the healthy bit of paranoia quietly whispered. Even if she didn't, Yukinoshita somehow had to be specifically informed about a secret message awaiting her. And if I thought of a method to do so why wouldn't I just use it to say "please go out with me"?

What else? Morse her a message with a projector? Even if Haruno-san by some miracle didn't see it, where would I get a projector for that?

Write something on the soccer field? What would I write and how would I evade inquiry?

What was I even thinking? My intuition kept suggesting there should be a simpler way for the ordeal. If only it would be kind enough to just point at it for stupid old me...

Try harder, Hachiman. Weren't it you who always praised yourself for thinking out of the box?

Alright. Somewhere in the back of mine and father's bookshelf was a bunch of Western spy fiction books. Dad was especially fond of those for whatever reason. I honestly tried reading them, but it was that time when I finally got me Vita-chan, so I didn't last long.

Some concepts taken from those stories did manage to plant themselves inside my head, though. Such as the concept of dead drops.

Despite its sophisticated name, the concept was rather simple. Person A and Person B want to share something valuable in a way that wouldn't lead to them getting caught. They can't communicate directly, and they shouldn't be seen together. Enter dead drop: both persons determine a location, Person A leaves the valuables there, then some time later Person B comes and picks them up. Simple, reliable, untrackable unless the info is leaked. Just what I needed.

Now the problem was narrowed down to determining the location to drop a note for Yukinoshita. Her apartment mailbox was obviously out because Haruno-san. No, no, no, don't bother even trying to assume Haruno-san wasn't like that. She was guilty until explicitly proven otherwise.

That left school. Specifically, a place where she couldn't miss a note, one where she would not being seen taking it by Yuigahama and accessible by me without suspicion.

Oh, right. Her shoebox.

I'd just have to arrive at school earlier than usual tomorrow to drop the damn note for her to pick up. That was simple, reliable and pretty much untrackable save for maybe an overly suspicious Komachi. But Komachi could be dealt with later.

Alright, here I had the final plan: drop a note into her shoe locker-

\- just like every Japanese student would do, as shoe lockers were used for that very purpose by literally everyone and their mother since probably Meiji era. And they didn't have to read spy fiction for that, nor they had to scurpulously calculate their every move. That was just _obvious_ to them.

Rarely if ever had I wanted to headdesk so badly. All that thinking out of the box to put a piece of paper _in_ the box. Went well in line with the rest of this afternoon. Funniest day ever.

* * *

Did you know that the scariest thing in the world was having a blank sheet of paper before you and trying to write something meaningful on it? Right at that very moment, when I was sitting at my desk at home, pen in hand, trying to figure out what to write in a note for Yukinoshita, I understood that fully.

This blank sheet of paper emanated menace and dread by just lying here, on my desk, with me unable to do anything to it.

Stupid sheet.

Just what should I write there?

 _"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,_  
 _I have been admiring you for a very long time. Please go out with me. I'm awaiting for your answer in the clubroom._  
 _Sincerely Yours,_  
 _Hachiman Hikigaya."_

Just as the last word formulated in my head I made a perfect headdesk. An ominous feeling in my heart suggested that wouldn't be the last one today. Scratch that.

 _"To Yukino Yukinoshita, bearer of repressed romantic feelings._  
 _You are thus found guilty of shutting down your heart and not acting out on its desires. You are condemned to me taking your heart tonight."_

Wait. That was a calling card, not a letter. And a very thematically inspired one at that. No good.

 _"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,_  
 _You know who I am. Let's meet up at"_  
...ummmm...  
 _"at Hananobijutsukan bus station to share our feelings with each other._  
 _Sincerely yours,"_ stop. Enough.

Scratch that. Thrice.

 _"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,_  
 _Tomorrow one fine sunset will occur. The sun, slowly melting in the Tokyo Bay. The waves, dyed in its blood, will slowly roll to us and die, only to be reborn far, far away. I cordially invite you to enjoy this maginificient spectacle tomorrow at Inage Seaside park._  
 _Sincerely Yours,_  
 _Hachiman Hikigaya."_

 _..._

 _"Dear brain,_  
 _Pray tell me how you come up with this corny crap._  
 _Sincerely Yours,_  
 _Hachiman Hikigaya."_

That right there was a clear sign there was enough mental exercises for me at the moment.

Yawning, I exited my room and went downstairs.

The dark living room was empty: parents were late at work, which was frighteningly often as of lately. Komachi wasn't home either, probably out with her friends or spending time with that pillow bug. The only thing preventing me from doing something nasty to Kawasaki Jr. was his brooding older sister, but those couple times I've seen them together with Komachi made me mellow on him some. Mostly because I saw how she worked him to the bone. My overly conscious inner voice was pleading to feel at least somewhat sad for a fellow man being ridden, while the devil on my shoulder laughed his arse off and told the inner voice to shut up and not ruin the fine comedy.

Actually, the living room had one other inhabitant besides me. The dark mass on top of the sofa suddenly sprouted ears, raised its head and looked at me with mild interest. Hi there Kamakura. Just in time.

I approached the wary cat and reached out my finger for him to sniff. He did so, acknowledged me and exposed the underside of his chin for me to scratch. In full accordance to the Cat Communication Protocol I dutifully started working my fingers through his fur. Kamakura closed his eyes and leaned his chin into my hand, then some time later turned the other side to be scratched there too. I did so, then put my hands under his belly and successfully rose the furface to my chest. Kamakura let out an irritated trill but otherwise made no attempts to get away. Good, because I fully intended to utilize him for some paw-squishing.

Just as reached out for his fore paw, the furface in my hand has triggered some thoughts. Namely, that Yukinoshita liked cats and I, for that matter, could skip all this "Sincerely Yours" stuff and just draw a cat on the envelope. Would also do a double job of distinguishing me from all the other suitors. May as well add Pan-san's picture for good measure.

For that matter, was there anyone left in our school who would _still_ be sending love letters to Yukinoshita, now that even first years knew her and it was still time till April and new enrollment?

... Oh, right. Me.

For that matter: why did I agonize over the contents so much? She would see the cat and Pan-san and immediately recognize it was me. Or Hayama, Yuigahama and Haruno-san.

Some further distinction then... Pink scrunchie? That would narrow it down to me and Yuigahama, in which case she'd probably come to the meeting spot either way. Pink scrunchie it was then.

At this rate I could write the rest of it in pictograms. (cat) (pan-san) (scrunchie) (bus) (sun) (sea) (heart) (heart) (heart). The last part was sarcasm, of course, please don't think weird things of me.

And if I was easily identifiable, all that was left would be just a set of instructions to a meeting place.

Thanks Kamakura, you were free for today. Laying the grumbling feline down I immediately returned to my desk. The blank sheet had no chances now.

 _"_  
 _* Please meet with me within a week._

 _* We'll have to skip club that day so as not to raise suspicions._

 _* Announce it at the nearest meeting for me to prepare._

 _* Keisei bus away from school, then return using Makuhari route to Hananobijutsukan seaward stop._

 _* Probably a change of civilian clothes for less recognition._

 _* Note with a teacup if an emergency comes up._  
 _"_

The last bit just suddenly occurred to me as I was writing instructions down. Seemed like my brain had kicked into high gear.

To closely quote Ancient Greek kings: "Let the spy games begin".

* * *

For once something was easy.

Komachi had only gave me a brief wondering look as I headed out half an hour earlier than normal. Out of four people in the lobby no one paid any attention, so after switching my shoes I strolled past her row as casually as I could and discreetly slipped my envelope there.

Only after walking into my class I let myself exhale in relief.

My part was done. Now all I had to do was wait. Which, according to those spy books, was the most frequent and tedious part of the game.

* * *

Upon entering the clubroom together with Yuigahama I was presented with Yukinoshita noticing me, briefly gasping and hastily staring elsewhere, then quickly (to her credit) composing herself and greeting as if nothing happened.

"My apologies, there's is some sort of a family gathering on Friday," She addressed us, "I'm not informed of the details yet, just requested to come right after school. So, if you don't mind, club meeting on Friday is cancelled. My apologies for such a short notice."

"Sure, no prob." Yuigahama's tone didn't show any signs of concern.

"A'ight. Missed my slacking off on Friday anyway," I decided to add.

Her eyes darted at me, then she made an exaggerated sigh.

"No comment."

Just for the sake of it, later I covertly but thoroughly examined my cup after Yukinoshita returned it to me with her tea. Nothing was on it.

Friday as in the day after tomorrow.

Friday it was then.

* * *

I didn't even remember how I survived Thursday and the first half of Friday. The only thing that did imprint itself into my memory was the final bout of weakness and panic that almost overwhelmed me right in the middle of class. I was going to fail, Yukinoshita would arrive only to mock me for even thinking of that, maybe along with Haruno-san and Hayama, Yuigahama would intercept me and forcefully drag away, earthquake, aliens, Ancient Horror... I was put out of my misery by a teacher asking me something and the whole class laughing at my inept attempts to remember what we all were talking about in the first place.

Well, I could live with that.

School had ended, so I hopped on my bike and pedalled westward, then southwest to the freeway. That was the start of my normal route home. Except this time I stopped at Lawson on the way and grabbed bottles of tea, onigiri rolls and, after pondering for a second, two plates of chocolate, one milk and one dark. The tea then was carefully wrapped into my muffler in the bag. Should stay warmer that way.

Afterwards I reached the freeway, but turned south instead of north, to the port. After passing the crossing to school (half a dozen students in our uniforms, no familiar faces, phew), I turned to the bay again.

Just a little further. There it was. Hananobijutsukan bus stop. Our meeting place.

3:52 in the afternoon, no Yukinoshita in sight. If she indeed followed my instructions, she should be somewhere at Keisei-Inage walking to the transfer station. Twenty minutes, maybe thirty. Enough time to park my bike on a bike parking nearby, quickly go to the public restroom to change into casual pants and a dress shirt, grab one can of coffee from the vending machine and start roaming in circles.

Time went by. Two airliners had slowly crawled the sky across the bay, heading to Haneda. One bus arrived, no Yukinoshita inside. If the timetable was to be believed, next one would be at 16:28. If Yukinoshita wouldn't arrive with that one either, I'd wait for the one at 16:55. Then at 17:40. Then cycle home crestfallen and sulk for the rest of the night, skip club activities for whatever reasons, then slowly dive into depression. Let it never be said I didn't have contingency plans for every occasion.

Another airliner passed by. I noticed its white body with what looked like a blue stripe and red splash near its nose. My gaze followed it until it disappeared.

Something moving appeared in the corner of my eye. It was a rather chubby black and white cat leisurely crossing the road. Upon noticing me staring at it the cat then finished crossing the street in a hurry and disappeared in the bushes. Hey, I didn't mean it like that you sneaky furface.

Finally I heard the bus arriving. My eyes were fixed at the window beside the driver seat, where the people waiting to exit would be seen. In fact there was exactly one such person, and even from here I could see the long black hair and lithe posture.

It was her. _It really was her_.

The bus stopped at the station and I approached the front door. It slowly opened with a chime. Behind it Yukinoshita lightly tapped her IC card on the reader, which acknowledged it with a beep, then went to the door.

Then she noticed me. Faint pink blush slowly creeped over her snow-white cheeks. Big cobalt eyes widened. Elegant mouth slightly agape, her expression reminded me of a deer in the headlights. Just like in the saying.

I licked my lips nervously, trying to find some words. Behind her I caught a glimpse of the elderly driver watching us with growing irritation, clearly about to hurry us up so as not to be behind schedule.

I then did something I hadn't planned before, nor ever. Taking my hand out of the coat pocket, fingers trembling from practically palpable tension, I slowly outstretched it palm up.

Yukinoshita's eyes followed it; she clearly was trying to process what she saw for several agonizing moments, then quietly gasped.

And took my hand, and made me felt the electricity that made my body jolt, and carefully hopped off the bus almost right into me.

I was now looking at Yukinoshita dangerously close to my face. Behind her the bus driver's expression changed into one of silent approval. He playfully saluted to me before closing the door and slowly going off.

She arrived. She was with me. She was looking at me, with her eyes betraying apprehension and anticipation at the same time.

To hell with worries.

Que Sera Sera.


	3. Author's interlude

(Chapter 2 is up next. This is just a short author's interlude/community talk/whatever.)

When I uploaded the first two chapters I realized I forgot to add author's notes with clever witticisms. That and the fact I got couple things I wanted to say for some time resulted in this short interlude.

Hi there, it's Some Chinese Guy, aka the fellow who didn't write anything for 2 years (and 27 pages of fanfic search results for English ones). Remember when I told that I've encountered the writer's block and won? Caaalled iiit~. Now they come in pairs.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank all the people who write reviews for my stories. Moreover, there's quite a lot of people still remembering my old ones which kinda is still mind-blowing for me. So, to all of you: thank you very much, I appreciate it. Just didn't know how to express it over these years. That's partly why this wall of text exists.

To be honest, I was fully intending to procrastinate even more. Because, you know, every writer encounters such a period in their lives when they fondly look back at their previous works, make a horrified face, grab their head with their hands and shout "Oh my god I've written shiiiiiiiiiiiit!". That was about a year ago. No, I haven't actually improved since then. Hence all the procrastinating.

But then two things happened. First, Volume 12 was finally out. Reading the spoilers about it (the real ones, not the ones from 4chan) elicited a long string of nope nope nope nope's from me. In short, I felt pretty butthurt.

The second, more anecdotal thing, happened when I visited Japan in August. On the fourth day, when I visited Akihabara to buy things typically bought at Akihabara, on the fifth (I think) floor of the new Radio Kaikan building, I noticed Yukino's, Yui's and Iroha's tapestries, 2200 yen each. Just as I was staring into this monument of the merchantility's triumph over concluding a good story, two Japanese schoolkids walked past me, with one saying "Hey, I'd like to buy Iroha-chan's one!" The other's like "Why?". "Cause she for sure will be Hikki's girlfriend, right?."

So, me being butthurt and my waifu shipping feelings being hurt beyond recovery, and in full accordance to Leo Tolstoy's maxim "write only when you're unable not to", I finally started writing up the story you're reading. Screw GaGaGa. I can do better. \\-tall claim.

Actually I wanted to write a happy ending for Hikki and Yukino all the way back during Volume 6/ season 1 end. Back then it still wasn't quite clear what Watari was going to do with them, so it was supposed to be a series of short fluffy snippets in a cleverly comedic style of Season 1. But then the story decided to add more drama and I had to rethink those snippets into a more coherent story based on the recent events. Unfortunately it wouldn't be pure fluff anymore since, by following the canon, I had driven myself into a corner and now have to deal with all the ominous shit Watari had laid out for us. So despite a happy ending, it's gonna be a bumpy ride. No other way around it. Yet I still promise to apply all my knowledge, life experience and writing skills to write it the best way I ever could. Even if it means headdesking at the stupid typo-ridden mess I've just uploaded again and equally stupid wording errors since English is not even my native language. But oh well.

That's basically all I wanted to say. Once again, thanks for reading and enjoy the next chapter.

Some Chinese Guy out.


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. And the World Exploded

It was only after the bus left I managed to stop staring into Yukinoshita's eyes and pay attention to the rest of Yukinoshita. "The rest of Yukinoshita"… Is that what I just said? Did I just lose the ability to speak coherent grammatically correct sentences?

Seemed like she did follow my instructions: frilly dark purple blouse and a pair of navy blue trousers adorned her features under the uniform coat she had partially unbuttoned, probably due to bus' air conditioner. Upon noticing my gaze she hastily buttoned it back.

"P-please don't stare, it's… p-please just don't."

"Sorry," I reflectively turned my head to the side.

"And… let go of my hand i-if you don't mind…"

"Ah… okay." I very reluctantly followed her request, feeling a pang of disappointment. My palm immediately felt the outside coldness. I had held her hand for less than a minute and was already missing it.

Take it again? Girls supposedly liked assertive men and, I heavily but firmly admitted, I got used to it faster than I thought. So what the hell-

-but it was Yukinoshita. She wasn't really like other girls. Maybe it would scare her. Maybe she wanted to touch me on her terms. I of all people knew how an unexpected touch felt like. As much as I wanted to do it… I had to wait.

"Those were quite peculiar instructions, I might say," my thoughts were interrupted by her speaking. "Disguise the meeting time, make a detour to arrive near the starting point… Even change of clothes."

"Couldn't be too careful," I shrugged.

"Oh." She felt silent. So did I.

As I was listening to the noise of the bay and cars passing by in the distance, I suddenly realised I didn't think it all through. For example, the tiny unimportant part of what I was supposed to say now.

"Lazy hack most of the time, yet suddenly careful and planning when the need arises…" She faintly smiled. "Typical you. I almost feel all my worries were insignificant."

"Sor-"

"Who do you think I am, Mata Hari?" She frowned, her voice obtaining that strangely cute intonation which emerged when she chided me. "I don't even know whether I should feel proud or annoyed by the fact you put so much faith in me. Do you know how nervous I was for those two days? It took all my determination to behave normally when Sister was nearby. I spent all Thursday evening peeking at Yuigahama-san for any signs of her seeing through me. And do you really think school was easy? That was the closest to my first ever scolding by a teacher since _kindergarten_. Do you even?.."

Yukinoshita stopped her fast yet perfectly articulated tirade with a miffed expression and made a very long tired sigh.

"In case you haven't noticed… I'm not really comfortable with those spy games of yours."

Awkward pause followed. Huh. So there were times when she was scolded too… Interesting thought. Later.

"Really didn't see any other way to contact you without anyone noticing," I uttered apologetically.

Yukinoshita looked at me, warily.

"Do you really mean it?.."

"Yeah. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for all this." I bowed for good measure.

"Stop with the bows… In fact… I don't mind." Yukinoshita blushed again. "I wouldn't come if it wasn't for you."

"Thanks… How did you know it was me?"

"Didn't you draw me and yourself on the envelope?" She tilted her head in surprise.

"What? Where?"

"What do you mean where? What about that cat and the Pan-san?"

I…

…what?

"Wait. You thought _I_ was Pan-san? That was for identification! So you didn't throw it away like the rest of the love letters in your shoe locker!"

For several seconds Yukinoshita just stared. Then she blinked. Once, twice. After that she covered her mouth with her fingers, closed her eyes and started _giggling_.

"As a matter of fact… yes, yes you do look like Pan-san," She managed to say in between giggle bouts. "From a certain viewing angle…"

"Nice to hear it," I probably made a face again because a new giggle fit overwhelmed her.

"And as much as I would like to praise you for you drawing skills… I won't as it will inflate your ego even more…" She finally caught her breath and looked at me over her fingers still covering her mouth, playful mischief and amusement dancing in her eyes. Just like all the way back at Sengen shrine during the New Year ceremony. At that moment I could gaze into them forever, just like that.

Yukinoshita meanwhile unexpectedly shifted her eyes, looking at nothing in particular. Her smile slowly disappeared. What was going-

"Really now. _You_ Inviting _me_ … Unbelievable."

Yukinoshita put her hands away from her face and instead grabbed her left elbow with her right hand, her gaze still unfocused.

"P-please don't think I'm ungrateful or anything like that. I really am… I'm…" Yukinoshita closed her eyes and bit her lip. "I'm… just me."

What was it all about?..

"You probably still see someone I'm not before you." Another sharp sigh, still avoiding my eyes. "You're so much better. Smart, crafty, _brave_. Caring. Kind… as weird as it sounds, you're kind. Do you… really think I'm… worthy?.."

To tell the truth, I was expecting our meetup to start with some other things. Maybe Yukinoshita would tease me about daring to go out with her. Or tell me we couldn't ever be together because our families had a centuries-long feud. Or practically anything but her feeling so unspeakably _worthless_.

This wasn't the girl I knew. No, wrong: this _was_ the girl I knew. But I also knew she was the girl I admired so much I basically broke all my habits just to go out with. There, deep down inside, somewhere. I couldn't say this nervous bundle of doubts before me was not Yukino Yukinoshita. It was in fact her, still at her darkest hour.

As much as I accepted her for her… I didn't want Yukino Yukinoshita to be like that.

"Yukinoshita…"

Her shoulders quivered a bit upon hearing her name.

"Please look at me."

Requesting someone not to avert their eyes, when I rarely did that myself. Was it a tall order?

For that matter, what was I supposed to say? _How_ was I supposed to say it? Not some sweet nothings like "because you're special to me" or "you're the star of my life". Seriously, leave that to studs like Hayama, they were better at it. No, I needed to say something…

Genuine.

"Please… please look at me." I repeated. Yukinoshita finally complied, her eyes still betraying fear and doubt.

Slowly, carefully, I started.

"Yukinoshita… I had changed my opinion of you at least three times. I remember how much of a haughty smartass you are. Frankly I really could live without some of your insults. But at the same time I also remember how you never turned down a request. Or, even if the solutions were mine, you still came up with good ideas. When I saw you organizing the new year party, I felt…" I paused, struggling to try and find a better word, but gave up. " _awe_. I always liked your wit. I like how you're always composed, or quiet, or introverted, all that. I even like how much of a bookworm you are. Seriously, first time ever I can discuss things I've read with someone."

Yukinoshita bit her lip. The fear in her eyes slowly disappeared. I had to continue my monologue, to drive the point across, to the best of my ability.

"You requested us to help you stand on your two feet. I will comply… I want to. Because even if you're a coward sometimes, or don't know what to do about your family, or whatever. I still know it's not the normal you. You're smart and proud, and compassionate, and someone I…" I swallowed. "…I want to be with. I'm even willing to say cliche things like that, see? I want to be able to remind you're better than you think you are. And…"

That was the important part…

"I want to go out with you. You specifically."

Yukinoshita nervously fidgeted with the sleeve of her coat.

"Not even with Yuigahama-san? Or Isshiki-san?"

That caught me off guard.

"No. I never- wait. What do they have to do with anythi-" and then it hit me. "What are you, jealous?"

Rather novel concept, that one was. I needed some time to deal with it.

"Jea- I-I'm not jealous, why should I be jealous…" She stammered. First self-doubts, now being a tsundere.

Divine comedy, that's what my life was.

"I- probably. It can't be… I _am_ jealous," Yukinoshita muttered with wide eyes. She opened her mouth, closed it, covered it with her hand, lowered her hand again. "Goodness. What had I been saying all this time?.. I never even thought I would be _jealous_ of someone."

Apparently I had been bestowed a rare sight of an incredibly flustered Yukino Yukinoshita. Should I feel honored?ã€€I probably should.

"So stupid…" She turned to me. "Hikigaya-kun."

"Hm?"

"Pardon me for… my words. I was very confused." She nodded to herself, likely gathering her resolve, and looked at me with a firm gaze. "I'm happy to meet up with you. Thanks for having me."

"Y-yeah…" Now what? Oh, right, I wanted to take her hand. So I probably should now.

Just as I offered my hand Yukinoshita suddenly took it with both hers.

"I j-just wanted to say I'm really glad I got to know you, and that I'm also happy you're someone I can discuss everything with. I promise to do my best with the request, and it's a joy for me that you would help."

The warmth and softness of her palms left me entirely speechless. I didn't even acknowledge her words at first.

"Uhh… R-right. Shall we?"

She gave me a smile, small yet bright and gentle.

"With pleasure."

* * *

Readjusting her hand in mine was both fleetingly easy and frustrating at the same time. Easy to touch her palm and just feel the warmth and her fingers gently squeezing mine in response. Frustrating to instantly miss the brush-like strokes of her slim fingers against mine once our palms were together. The sensations I've felt in such a short time all at once were almost making my head light.

We started slowly walking, trimmed bushes and park trees to our left, road to the right.

"By the way, you never specified it was a date," Yukinoshita spoke up as we were approaching the coast, with delightful teasing in her voice that almost coerced me to smile ear to ear.

"What do you mean I didn't?"

"You didn't." She gently shook her head with a playful smile, coughed into the knuckles of her free hand and cited with exaggerated articulation. "Ah-hum. 'Please meet with me within a week. We'll have to skip club that day so as not to raise suspicions. Announce it at the nearest meeting for me to prepare. Keisei bus away from school, then return using Makuhari route to Hananobijutsukan seaward stop. Probably a change of civilian clothes for less recognition. Note with a teacup if an emergency comes up.'"

Yukinoshita raised her finger with a serious expression.

"A note with a teacup. Opening parenthesis, 'Sic!', closing parenthesis." Her lips curled back into that small teasing smile again. "Our foreign intelligence really should be interested in hiring you."

"Whatever. Think of anything better to be used in front of others then, swellhead."

"How about _your_ shoe locker?" Yukinoshita pointed out. "I doubt anyone ever would even think of searching there, not to mention insert secret letters."

"Very funny," I feigned irritation.

"Agreed," Yukinoshita nodded, "quite funny. Returning back to the topic though: nowhere in the text is the word 'date' present."

That made me pause.

"Wait, it isn't?"

"Indeed it isn't," Yukinoshita tilted her head, watching me rather coquettishly.

"Uhhh…"

In response she just gently squeezed my hand, fleeting sensation of her fingertips brushing against my hand.

"It's alright. I'm smart enough to figure it out, luckily for you. I do have to note I'm strangely relieved you hold almost more doubts than me, however."

"Uh-huh." I repeated her gesture, lightly tracing her hand with my fingertips. Yukinoshita threw a glance at it, slightly blushing. I could get used to that.

"Another confession to make," She continued. "That was the first letter in my shoe locker since I enrolled here. Apparently everyone knows me well enough to not even try."

"Oh. That's news to me. Meaning your shoe locker's as good as mine after all."

"On the other hand," Yukinoshita slowly replied, as if forcing a change of topic, "no threats or stolen shoes either, which is a fair trade-off, I guess."

"Yeah. I was very touched when you first told that story, " I recalled. "Almost made me sympathize with you."

"Oh my."

"But then you rejected my friendship proposal and my sympathies were back to square one." I smugly finished.

"Goodness."

"You don't feel very sorry, do you?"

"I will properly feel remorse, you have my word." She smiled politely. "Someday."

"If you say so," I sighed. "Now turn right, away from the pool."

We stepped onto the wide promenade. To the left was the beach with its canopies and lounge chairs, now empty. To the right was the park foliage and palm trees, their green color dulled till it would get warmer.

For now we were out of topics to discuss, it seemed, and were both just moving our feet along the promenade without saying a word. Strangely, I didn't feel awkward anymore. Months of quiet reading together probably helped. Having matched my walking speed to hers, for some time I was content just taking step after a step and watching the girl at my side.

Thick long black hair adorned sharp, slender, yet at the same time very soft features of her face. Serenity and cheerfulness now reflected in her dark blue eyes as she looked in relaxed curiosity at the bay, the trees, the bushes, sometimes back at me. I reflexively averted my eyes at first, but then started daring to glance back. That in turn made her avert hers, only to sneak a peek sometime later.

Her posture was straight, yet not ramrod-like: no signs of tension or anxiety at all. Long shapely legs, subtly emphasized by her trousers, took small measured steps almost perfectly upon an imaginary straight line. By the sound of her feet it seemed she stepped toes-first, as if quietly and constantly testing ground. A confident and curious cat slowly walking the familiar landscape.

Simply put, it was _enticing_. A very unique sort of enticing, different from, say, her sister's swaying gait, full of allure and danger, or many of my female classmates willing to imitate it to appear more mature.

A sight to behold, all day, any day.

Just as I located an empty bench near the shore line Yukinoshita spoke again:

"I have another question, Spy-san. Why this park? It's too close to school for comfort. Or is it not conspiring enough to go somewhere closer to central part of a city with a population of over one million? As of February first, 2016."

"One day we just went to LaLaPort for Yuigahama's presents and suddenly your sister showed up. Another day me and Yuigahama went to Parco for yours and suddenly the better half of your family was in a cafe nearby. I'm not taking chances."

"That was just two occasions. Two accidents don't make viable statistics." Yukinoshita's very expressive look told me the rest. 'And here I thought you're too smart for that' or somesuch.

"Sure, smartypants. Have you then thought about all our classmates on part-time jobs throughout the downtown area? You think they'll let it slide when they see us together?"

"Aren't part time jobs prohibited by the school regulations?"

"They are. No one cares. Well, maybe model students like you do…"

"Duly noted," she put her fingers on her chin and nodded.

"By the way, no cat cafes either because I have this sneaking suspicion you've visited all of them within Chiba prefecture."

"My, aren't you thoughtful," Yukinoshita rested her cheek on her right hand, perfectly mimicking a refined ojou. "On the other hand, just because I visited a place once I wouldn't mind visiting it again."

"And be distracted by cats. I know you will."

That elicited a very annoyed pout.

"I'm not _that_ susceptible!"

"Sure, sure."

"How about we just go to one next time just to prove you wrong?"

That meant there'd be next time-

"That means there'll be next time?" Wait, did I decide to say that aloud? What was I thinking? I just tried to be _flirtatious_?! Oh for the sake of all that's holy. That was disgusting. _I_ was disgusting. I've just ruined it all-

"Why would I say it otherwise?" Yeah, exactly, just as I thought- what?..

Yukinoshita's look showed honest surprise.

"Erm… huh," I managed to say. "Yeah. Sure. Alright."

"Did I say something weird?" She tilted her head even further.

"No. Uhh. Nothing weird. In fact that's good. Quite good. Yeah. Anyway, bench. That bench right there. Let's go sit."

Partway through my eloquent monologue I noticed Yukinoshita cover her lips with her fingers again.

"Yes," she replied barely containing her giggling, "let's."

* * *

After Yukinoshita sat on the bench I put my bag to the right of her and plopped next to it. It took me about five seconds to realize I'd better move it to my other side, so I could sit closer to her.

Time to check on tea and snacks.

"Peach green or milk black one?"

"Pardon?"

"The tea." I held both bottles in my hands. "Which one?"

"Milk please," Yukinoshita replied after a pause. She carefully accepted the bottle, nodding thanks. I proceeded to fetch two onigiri bundles.

"Salmon or, ermmmm… salmon?" It took me couple moments to process what I just said. "I mean, they're both salmon, didn't mean it like that. Honest."

"Wonderful." She shook her head hiding a grin. "Such a difficult choice… After much internal struggle I have decided to pick salmon."

She took the bundle from me. Our fingers brushed against each other. I would keep noting every occurrence, it seemed.

"Figured we'd need some snacks since we skipped the club meeting."

"Thank you. You really are considerate when you want to be."

Silence followed again. I opened up my bottle and took a sip, feeling a tinge of bitterness beneath the peachy flavor and keeping an eye on Yukinoshita. She meanwhile was opening up her onigiri ("how does it… oh, a stripe") and started quietly eating it in small bites. Much as I didn't mind watching her eat (memories of Fushimi Inari had resurfaced in my head) I decided it wasn't polite. Instead I leaned back onto the bench, feeling her shoulder with mine, and shifted my attention elsewhere.

The beach was almost empty this time of the year. Only several more people were sitting here and there, quietly observing the sea. It was about quarter to five in the evening and the sun was already starting to set, painting the western sky red and orange. There was no wind now, only small waves on the water's surface sloshed gently when reaching the shore. Time after time airliners slowly flew through the sky, guided to Haneda by their pilots.

I finished my onigiri, folded the wrapper and put it into my bag, then reached for the chocolate. Breaking both plates into chips on my lap with just one hand was a bit challenging, but then Yukinoshita just quietly helped me by holding it. I nodded thanks and took a chip. So did she.

Leaning back into the bench again I realized that, after an insomniac week and three days of decisions and being a badass spy (note the mental quotes) Iã€€finally started to _unwind_. Requests, family situations, other people, future, perspectives… Nothing mattered right now. Just me, the sea and this quiet girl peacefully sitting by my side on a deserted beach. Is this the appeal of dates and why people enjoy them, I wondered. If yes, then I changed my mind about the whole date thing.

I reached for the opened chocolate wrapping only to find out there was the last chip left… and Yukinoshita was also reaching for it.

"Go on." I suggested.

"N-no, you go on."

"I don't mind."

"Please take it."

"So stubborn… just take it already."

"I have already told you you can have it. Why are you arguing?"

"Why are you?"

We both paused with our outstretched hands. I looked at it, then at Yukinoshita. She apparently did the same.

"Are we just bickering over chocolate?"

"It seems so."

"Huh." I scratched my head. "Ah, got an idea. How about I just toss a coin? Heads, it's yours."

"Do you know how?"

"I've seen people do it countless times," I shrugged.

Taking my wallet I fished out a ten yen coin. Remembering the movies I've seen, I put it on my thumb's nail and flicked it. Instead of hopping straight up the coin deviated its trajectory and flew somewhere behind the bench. In an elegant arc and spinning all the way.

Yukinoshita followed it with her eyes all the way to the ground. Afterwards she shifted her look at me and simply put her a palm to the face.

"This probably is my most fun day in a while," she remarked, "and you being unable to properly toss a coin is strangely fitting… Oh goodness. This also is my probably least stressful day since forever. Should we have had it done way earlier, perhaps?.."

I shook my head.

"Nah. Probably wouldn't be able to."

"Possibly so. Fine, that piece is mine." She sighed and took the chip, eating it and finishing up her tea bottle, then putting it in her bag. After that she stretched, her back arching and taking all my attention for several seconds. I couldn't really help it. On the other hand,upon rethinking it, nope, I couldn't.

"I-it's probably will get cold soon so we'd have to leave," I decided to switch topic. "Since we haven't been to the park yet and all-"

Oh damn.

"I think I really should've taken you into the park first." What kinda dumbass was I? "Sorry about that. Didn't even occur to me."

"Stop it," she softly said. "It didn't occur to me either. In fact I don't mind staying here for some time more."

Good thing she wasn't a normal girl. A normal girl would probably roast me about it the very first second she stepped out of the bus. If Isshiki and Orimoto were anything to go by anyway. Or Yuigahama. Damn, I actually did have enough dating experience! Not that it would make me feel better.

"Huh. So… to the park?"

She nodded with a reassuring smile, one of the so many today.

"Alright."

Just as she started standing up I decided to offer my hand, to which she responded by putting hers into it for support.

We briefly stopped by trashcans to throw our bottles and wrappers away. Somehow standing together with Yukinoshita putting our trash into appropriate bins felt more close than it should be.

I held her hand in mine with one swift and increasingly familiar motion as we entered the park road. She stepped closer to me; I felt faint warmth of her shoulder again.

We were now walking in trees' shadows, their canopies obscuring the setting sun. I checked my time: couple minutes past five. An elderly couple walking to the small pond, someone walking their dog, some zombie-like salaryman sleeping on the bench.

The sparrows chirping somewhere in the bushes were suddenly startled by the familiar black and white cat approaching dangerously close, flying away in a chaotic yet consistent formation. I didn't even need to turn my head to know Yukinoshita was now closely tracking the cat. Yep, I was right: slightly widened eyes, precise head movements, subdued body language.

Yukino Yukinoshita was a cat. What was I supposed to do with the fact?

"Oi."

That shook her out of a trance.

"My apologies. What did you say again?"

I made a very deep, very profound sigh.

"I say, how about we go to that pond over there?"

"Oh. I agree then."

"You sure you'll pass the Cat Cafe Test?"

"Cat Cafe Test. Such words." She sent me a frowny glare. "Do you have so little faith in me?"

"You're trying to look for that cat right now. Now are you?.." She coughed into her hand again to hide her embarrassment. "So the answer is yes, I have that little faith in you."

"Oh dear."

The pond's muddy spring water was calm, apparently protected from the wind by the trees. I slowly guided Yukinoshita along the trail ("do you mind?.." "I'm good"), taking note of the small fence poles on the other side. Those looked old.

"Iã€€want to apologize for not giving you the chocolate that day," Yukinoshita suddenly spoke. "I panicked so much, it's a miracle I didn't run away right there and then."

"Wha?.. Oh, those." I remembered that time. First she was interrupted by Yuigahama, then Haruno-san showed up, perfect timing as always. It's as if she was tracking Yukinoshita all the time. "By the way… Are you sure she's not tracking you?"

"As much as I wanted to joke about you and your spy games again… no, I'm not sure." She massaged the bridge of her nose. "I always had a suspicion she tracks my phone. When I first thought about it, around last September, I switched to a new one. But then, when Sister knew where I was again, I remembered she dropped into my apartment for one reason or another and assumed she tampered with my new one too."

"Have I already told you your sister's plain scary?"

"No, but I saw how you acted around her." She smiled. "To tell you the truth, you're the only one to be scared of her at first sight. Besides me, of course."

"Would that mean she's tracking us now?"

"She may. But fortunately you picked up a location close to school, so I can just say we had a club activity outside. And since I can't turn it off or use a Faraday cage to block the signal as it will raise suspicions, I had to settle for stuffing it into my bag and muffling with cloth to block microphone and camera."

"Fara-what?"

"A Faraday cage. Any metallic mesh or foil wrapped around the transmitter will block the signal completely." Yukinoshita shook her head. "You really are bad at sciences."

"Yeah, well. And you said you're not suited for spy games."

"I had been living with Sister for all my life. Even someone as unsuited as me would pick up at least that much." Her face was becoming gloomier by the second. Sorry! Sorry, Yukinoshita! I didn't want to bring you down! I'll change the topic immediately!

"Ummm… I don't mind the missing chocolate. Not really asked for it-"

"-And she ate it on the second day after moving in. She simply opened the fridge, took it and condemned with some champagne." If it was even possible, Yukinoshita's face was even gloomier now, with slight hints of what really sounded like approaching hysteric fit. "Just like that! She doesn't even ask me when she raids the fridge on a regular basis! And that's on top of me making meals for us both! And-and she puts those idiotic aroma candles everywhere! And scatters her clothes! At least she puts it into the washing machine afterwards… But then her belongings are nearly all around the apartment! I-I can't even feel safe in my own room because she apparently doesn't have the basic decency to _knock_! I have to lock the door and then listen to her nag about me not trusting her! I'm afraid to return to my own apartment! If-if she wouldn't be out half the week drinking somewhere I-I'd…"

Oh god. She was starting to hyperventilate.

"Yukinoshita." I squeezed her hands.

"…I'd probably have to beg Yuigahama-san to stay at her place-"

"Yukinoshita." I hesitated, but then said to myself "oh, screw it" and gently patted her head. She gasped, looking at my hand, then at me, then back at my hand. Finally she simply pushed her forehead into my shoulder. Not knowing what to do next, I kept slowly stroking her hair (just as I thought, really soft) and trying to calm down my beating heart.

"No… No, I'm not managing…" She weekly muttered, her head still on my shoulder, grabbing my other hand with both hers. "P-please… please, some more. Please… Thank you so much for taking me out. I'll get better… just a little more…"

"It's alright. It's alright." I numbly repeated while consoling her. _There never really is good time to start relationships_ , Sensei's voice echoed in my head. No, there probably wasn't. "You know, you could just _tell_. At least to Hiratsuka-sensei if you don't trust me and Yuigahama. Which kinda hurts but that's beside the point."

Yukinoshita fell silent.

"Sail to this island heart…" I heard her whisper.

"Come again?"

Yukinoshita slowly moved her head away from me, still gently stoking my hand with her palms.

"Please forgive me this moment of weakness. I… I really needed it."

"No prob."

She weakly smiled.

"I'll make you chocolate some other time. I promise. As well as to share my problems with you."

"Yeah, sure."

"Since you're leading the date up till now, would you mind a recommendation?" Yukinoshita straightened her hair with both hands, visibly calming down.

"Alright. I actually haven't planned that far."

"Oh. That's a shame. I like when you're planning."

"Eh, if you say so-" Wait. Wait. Wait dammit. Was that a _compliment_? "-and stop saying embarrassing things, woman."

"Maybe I don't like to be the only one embarrassed," Yukinoshita reasoned. "Back to the previous topic… There's a small obscure cafe at Shin-Tsudanuma I've noticed when I was there. Not inside the Parco, just at the corner near the station. Would you mind going there?"

"Do we have time? It's at least an hour long ride from here."

"Fortunately, today's one of the days Sister is out drinking. And by 'out drinking' I mean somewhere in Tokyo. She won't return by midnight."

"Huh. Well, fine by me. Shall we?"

"Gladly."

* * *

"Inagesengenmaeee, Inagesengenmaee. Please take care when exitiiing," the bus driver's half-whispering voice droned, lengthening the words as they all did. Yukinoshita perked up and closed her book; I did the same.

Upon exiting the bus I offered my hand to her again, which she accepted; a new habit I was only glad to pick up. This way, hand in hand, we arrived to the platform.

There were several groups of students from different schools. Normally no one from Soubu boards on this station, preferring either Kaihin-Makuhari, buses or just biking home. Two-tone station chime rang periodically, with nothing else interrupting the sound. The sun had almost disappeared by now, the dark sky behind our backs showing the first stars.

 _"The regular train heading for Keisei-Tsudanuma will soon arrive. Please stand behind the yellow line."_

Me and Yukinoshita stood first at car entrance markings on the platform, with other forming a line behind us. The arriving train slowed down and opened the doors. There were two free seats which I planned to take before all the eager schoolkids ruined the competition but then I noticed two elderly women going for it. Turning back and scanning the car, I noticed all the other seats were taken.

"I can manage four stations, but thanks for worrying about me," Yukinoshita apparently noticed my concern.

"Really?"

"Really." She sent me a disapproving look. I just shrugged and settled for the middle of the car's upper railing.

The doors closed with a chime and the train was set in motion. Yukinoshita reflectively pinched the hem of my coat. Did it become a habit of hers already?

"Ummm… If you don't mind, you can just hold my arm properly."

She hesitantly nodded and slowly put her hand around the crook of my arm. Yet another sensation I'd want to get used to today.

 _"The train is now entering a steep turn and will sway. Please hold on tight."_

Yukinoshita's reaction to theã€€swaying train car was to suddenly grab me with both arms, now practically hugging me. And here I had yet another. And another as, without thinking, Iã€€navigated my hand between her back and hair ( _tickles_ ) and held her closer. Yukinoshita tensed under my arm, but then suddenly let go of my elbow and hugged me back. Not "practically" this time, but fully.

Here we were, standing in a train car rushing somewhere as I was holding the railing with one hand and having Yukinoshita tightly wrapped under the other. Her putting her arms around me, leaning into my chest and trustingly laying her head on my shoulder; me feeling her body warmth and weight, her thin waist and petite figure; it all piled up on me at once like an avalanche. Her stray hair was tickling my face, intoxicating me with the apple aroma of her shampoo, making me want to bury my nose into it.

 _"Kemigawa. This is Kemigawa. The doors on the right side will open."_

Should I say something? Should I resist the strange tingling wave of joy slowly rising in me?

 _"Next station is: Keisei-Makuhari, Keisei-Makuhari. Please hold on the provided railings."_

I probably shouldn't.

Dark landscape passed by behind the windows, evening lights showing up here and there. Sometimes railway crossings brightened up the dark background with the flashing signal lights, their bells lowering pitch as they disappeared. I felt Yukinoshita start stroking my back with one hand, and the feeling sent pleasant chills down my spine. I did the same: slowly shifted my arm to reach her back and tried tracing it. That made Yukinoshita shiver and lean in even more.

 _"Keisei-Makuhari, this is Keisei-Makuhari. The doors on the right side will open."_

Raise a hand, touch the back, trace down, repeat. So simple, so entrancing, so enjoyable. Just don't forget to support her when the train sped up or slowed down.

 _"Makuhari-Hongou, this is Makuhari-Hongou. The doors on the left side will open. Please exit here to transfer for JR Soubu Main Line."_

One station left. I finally gave in and lowered my face into her hair, savoring the ticklish feeling and silky texture.

"You'll ruin my hairdo," I heard her saying slowly and very softly, her voice acquiring a strangely mellow and relaxed tone I've never heard before.

"You have a hairdo?" How weird, my own voice now was exactly the same.

She rubbed her face on my shoulder.

"Not the best question to ask a girl."

"Mhm." I didn't find any strength in me to argue. Better to stay like that.

Forever.

 _"Keisei-Tsudanuma, this is Keisei-Tsudanuma. The doors on the right side will open. Please exit here to transfer for Keisei Main Line and Shin-Keisei Line."_

Already?..

* * *

I'll be honest: the only reason that I managed to calmly dislodge myself from Yukinoshita was the conviction I could hug her again later. Besides, we still were holding hands; three hours into our date and I stopped freaking out, just silently enjoying every minute of contact. And as we walked on foot to Shin-Tsudanuma, part of me noticed with barely contained joy that Yukinoshita made no attempts to break it either, which in itself was both pleasant and so, so _strange_.

Cafe Ingrid was located on a crossing inside a small labyrinth of narrow alleys near the Shin-Tsudanuma station, tightly fit between a supper bar and a traditional restaurant. I opened the wooden door to the cafe and remembered just in time I was supposed to let Yukinoshita in first. She accepted the gesture with a nod and a smile, now very natural and expected.

Cafe's interior could be generally described as 'vintage'. Neutral beige walls were decorated with wooden shelves containing weird books, flower vases and one old camera. Six sturdy tables with big comfy sofas were lined at the walls and the window. Slow jazz was playing, providing soothing ambiance.

Aside from us there were two housewives quietly discussing something over their coffee and a waiter, college second year or so judging by his appearance.

"Welcome! A table for two persons, correct?"

I nodded.

"Please sit here then."

We followed him to the corner table. I let Yukinoshita sit first, then sat by her.

After the waiter brought the menu we both started scanning it.

"Oh, nilgiri tea. I'll settle on that."

"Mhm. I'm fine with blended coffee then. Some cakes maybe?.."

"I suggest this gingerbread layer cake. Looks delicious at least."

"Sure." I turned to locate the waiter. "Uhh, we're ready to order."

By silent agreement we both resumed our reading while waiting for our orders.

I checked the clock. Way past eight. Probably time to head home after the cafe.

But that could wait.

Our order arrived; I sipped my coffee and found it decent. Yukinoshita did the same with her nilgiri tea.

"Quite good, for a cafe we just stumbled upon," She clarified, seeing my questioning look.

"Huh." Not knowing what to do next I decided to try out the gingerbread cake. The cake was sweet and gingery, not enough to overwhelm but just there to taste.

"Not bad."

"Alright." Yukinoshita tasted hers too while returning to her reading. Seeing her I also leaned into the sofa and tried to relax. Which I succeeded at, enough to grab my book and read on to the slow jazz and dark March night outside the window, letting the flow of time go.

Sometime later I felt a weight on my shoulder. Yukinoshita leaned hers on mine and tried to rest her head on it. Just as I started to feel the ticking feeling of her hair she straightened up again and tried to tuck her hair away from her ear. Afterwards she tried to lean and rest once more, only to (very adorably) growl in frustration, sit straight and try to rest on me again.

"What are you doing?.."

"Trying to… lean… on you. Sorry… do you mind?"

I shrugged.

"No… I think it's done a bit differently." I turned my upper body to her and reached behind her shoulders. "If you don't mind…"

Yukinoshita carefully leaned into my arm. I pulled her closer, with her shoulder now on my chest and her head at the base of my neck.

"Better now?"

"Mhm. Much better," she squirmed a bit, trying to find the most comfortable position, then relaxed and picked her book. "So warm…"

"I thought you don't like close contact. I mean, you constantly push Yuigahama away…"

"Well… You're not Yuigahama-san, are you?" She teased.

"I can live with that."

Yukinoshita yawned into her hand, almost making me do the same.

"Tired?"

"A little. What time is it now… oh. Half past eight."

"I guess half an hour more or somesuch. Snooze away."

"Why, thank you for you generous offer."

* * *

Keisei-Inage met us with chilly cold air and crickets sporadically chirping somewhere nearby. After riding here entangled in each other the chilliness was especially startling.

We slowly approached the Inagesengenmae bus station. Yukinoshita would board the bus to ride home while I'd ride the train back to Kemigawa and go home on foot.

We stopped and held each other again on the empty bus stop. The fence and thick trees of Inage Sengen shrine wordlessly observed us, with the small houses on the other side of the street shielding us from the world.

"Thank you for today," I heard Yukinoshita whisper. "It was enjoyable. I never quite thought dates were like that."

"Not sure they all are. Not that I have much experience."

"Neither have I."

I blinked.

"No one ever took you on a date?"

"No one," She shook her head, more like rubbing it in shaking motion against my chest. "Is it strange?"

"In your case? Probably not. Why was I even asking…"

She quietly laughed into my chest, then raised her head, looking at me with amusement and something else I couldn't pinpoint exactly. Warmth, maybe.

"Your eyes."

"Hm? What's with my eyes?"

She gently reached for my face with her hand.

"They're absolutely fine by me," she finished and caressed my cheek. My heart skipped a beat.

"Eh, if you say s-"

Yukinoshita caressed my cheek again and tiptoed and reached my lips with hers and the world exploded.

At least, that's what I felt at that moment. Not many clear memories of it in my head, just sensations overwhelming me. Her soft warm lips awkwardly finding mine, me doing the same. Our noses bumping into each other before we both remembered to tilt the head. Her fingers on my cheek, gently stroking it. Me firmly holding her with one hand and stroking her head with another, then just cupping her face, gently, as a mix of joy and thrill and everything else at once took over me. My sloppy attempts to also kiss her nose, her forehead, her chin; her just closing her eyes and slowly but surely enjoying it. Her grabbing my palm, kissing and rubbing her nose into it. Our hearts beating like crazy, with me feeling hers through chest pressed against mine.

Next thing I remembered, we were standing, still in each other's arms, forehead-to-forehead, futilely trying to catch our breaths. And then kissing again, less sloppily and more steadily this time, making sure to enjoy every second of it. And breaking, and once more kissing.

"At least warn me next time," I slowly said, holding her close, her head on my shoulder again. After some hesitation I added: "…Yukino."

She tensed under my arms.

"P-Please don't." She replied, then hastily corrected herself: "W-What am saying… I didn't mean it like that… It's… it's just what my family calls me."

"Oh. Then," I paused, "Yuki?"

She practically shuddered.

"… Say it again."

Gladly.

"Yuki."

She pressed herself into me even more, almost crushing me in her embrace.

"Yuki."

She practically squirmed in my arms.

"Yuki."

A soft gasp. She looked into my eyes again.

"Then… Hachi."

"I'd be fine with Hachiman, you know."

She shook her head, smiling in a daze.

"Too regal for you. Hachi. Hachi. Hachi."

I just caressed her cheek some more, almost ready to faint then and there.

"What does it makes us now?"

"A couple."

"Will you be… with me?"

"Yes."

"What about your family?"

Her face darkened.

"Not right now. For goodness sake, not right now. And not telling Yuigahama-san right now either." She rubbed her face into my chest, caressing my hand on her cheek with hers. "This all is just so… _good_. I want to enjoy it without a single care in the world. For a week. Just a week. Can you give it to me?"

"I will." I nodded.

"I will tell Yuigahama-san fair and square. I promise."

"I know. I'll be there."

"Thank you."

"So… when's the next?"

"Saturday. Sister will definitely be out partying. Say… four in the evening here."

"Will do, Yuki."

"Until next time… Hachi."

* * *

The whole road home was in a daze. Any time I closed my eyes I felt her lips and palms and body all over again, in details so vivid I may as well relive it right there with jolts piercing through my body and heart beating like crazy. I've read somewhere those were clear signs of a PTSD. I didn't mind.

"Sup bro! Why are you on foot?" Komachi greeted me peeking from the kitchen.

"Hey." I managed to reply. "Ah, that… I think it's at school."

"Huh… That's a first." She stopped cutting the cabbage and looked at me properly, frowning. "You're kinda out there too. Something happened?"

I shook my head.

"Hmmm?.. You're not hiding anything, are you? You know Komachi will be mad if you do."

I shook my head again.

"Nah, no good. There's something." She exited from the counter and approached me. "You're also kinda… like someone hit you on a head with a sandbag. Is it something ba-"

At this point she suddenly started sniffing.

"Is it me or did you use my bath soap?.. Nah, no way, you don't know where I hide it…" Komachi scratched her chin while sniffing me everywhere.

"Can you stop? This is ridiculous."

Instead she touched my forehead.

"Nope, not hot. Why are you blushing then?.. It's like you've suddenly been ki-" Komachi's eyes widened. "-kissed. Everything clicks together then. And by the smell of it… yep, Yukino-san. I remember that bath salt. Shampoo too. Aaaand," she nimbly picked something off my coat. "Nope, def not Yui-san's."

With a fiercely serious face Komachi showed me two thumbs up.

"Congrats on that, Bro. You finally did it. Komachi's so happy!"

"Komachi," I finally find enough resolve to tiredly reply, "just stop. I'm not in the mood for dealing with you right now. Can I… Can I just go sleep?"

"Ah." She looked aside, thinking. "Yeah. You kinda need to process it all, yeah… But you'll tell me eeeeeeverything tomorrow. Deal?"

"And you keep your mouth shut about it. Not a single soul." I looked at her, square in the eye. "Your Bro's entirely serious now. Don't complicate matters."

"That serious…" Komachi pondered, then beamed. "Will do! Nighto!"

"Nighto."

I didn't even bother undressing and just plopped on my bed. A maelstrom of thoughts was swirling in my head and I didn't have desire nor will to sort it out. Just now I wanted to sleep. And maybe dream of Yukinoshi-

Yuki.

Yes. May I dream of Yuki tonight.

 _A/N: Latter parts are best read to Tangerine Dream's "Love on a Real Train"_


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3. Aloud, Using words, Clearly and Unambiguously**

I slowly opened my eyes and turned my head, locating the phone. Its clock indicated it was almost noon. After returning the phone to the desk I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling.

Some part of my brain suggested I'd reflect on yesterday. First ever real date (plus a first ever kiss) surely were life-changing events. For whatever reason I… not so much refused. Just didn't feel the motivation to, preferring to instead keep lying on my back and taking turns at staring the the ceiling, the posters, the door, the window, then the ceiling again.

How did I feel?

Well, mostly sleepy.

How else did I feel?

After assessing my state of mind, I came to conclusion that I felt _normal_. Nothing particularly groundbreaking.

Let's ask another question: how was I _supposed_ to feel? Eagerly elated, jumping two stories high and sending hearts in every direction, if shoujo manga and romcoms were to be believed.

Suffice to say I wasn't inclined to do any of that. What I wanted instead was to give in to the laughter slowly emerging from within me; that same one girls usually found creepy. It wasn't exactly hysterical, or bursting with joy. It was, I realized in surprise, a laughter of level content. Nothing to bother me, nothing to worry, nothing to mull over. Even if there _was_ in fact a whole bunch of stuff demanding to do exactly that in even proportions, right now it didn't matter. No matter how much I thought about it, I didn't feel any anxiety or dread. Just a neutral "well, I'll have to deal with it, fine".

On a more thorough examination, I didn't mind this new state of being at all.

Even the perspective of today's date with Yukinoshi- Yuki- wasn't making me anxious. I would just go and meet her, and have a good time. Just like going to the club.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

* * *

It was every good big brother's responsibility to make his little sister happy. After all, what else us big brothers would exist for? Aside from occasionally picking on their little sisters to vent our frustrations, of course we were to cater to their every whim.

So, as it would to any decent big brother, the sight of Komachi cupping her face, squinting her eyes shut and positively squeeing made me happy.

The only downside was, she squeed because I followed up on my promise to tell her "eeeeverything, like, in every detail" about my date with Yukinoshi- Yuki. Even now I wanted to smile like an idiot I was at every mention of her name, despite having told my sister what was supposed to be a huge secret.

In corporate terms it was called criminal negligence and major critical security breach. Not only I'd be fired on the spot, they'd probably send some shady guys out to get me. And now that we were on the subject, there was at least something to clarify in that regard.

"Komachi, you're still in contact with Haruno-san, right?"

That finally made her stop squeeing.

"Eh, time after time. Why?"

"Don't tell her."

"Why? She'll be happier than a ton of elephants."

What kinda comparison was that?

"Exactly. She'll mess with us."

"Oh, don't be melodramatic. She loves Yukino-san! What bad thing would she do to her?"

I couldn't stress that enough: it was good Komachi wasn't in contact with Haruno-san so closely as to know what kind of person she actually was. And I fully intended it to stay that way. The last thing I needed was for Haruno-san to start getting closer to my little sister. If someone must be spared of that, it should be Komachi.

The downside was I had to explain several otherwise obvious things to her.

"She'd also would tell their mother and then the real fun would start."

"Aaaand? What's so bad about her mother?"

 _"I didn't expect this from you. I placed my trust into you and let you do as you please, but… No, this is my error in judgement."_

"Her mother…" How would I summarize it without sounding spiteful? "…may have other ideas regarding Yukinoshita."

"Hmmm…" Komachi made a thoughtful face. "Like in those dramas where she wants to marry her daughter off to some rich bastard?"

 _"Indeed. My mother wants to strengthen the bonds between our families…" and a long awkward pause._

"That maybe too."

"Heeeh… what is someone supposed to say in such cases…" Thoughtful expression morphed into a worried one. "And you're gonna oppose her or something? Bro, you sure you'll be okay?"

"No," I shrugged. Well, technically, the future prospects of dealing with _that_ made me want to build a little cozy house atop of my bed and never ever leave it to stay happy, or at least sane. But yeah, the correct summary would be "No".

"Why do it then? Lifting your ass off to go date a girl is already so not like you I don't even know. And then hop! and you're dating Yukino-san. Like, Yui-san wou-"

"No." Crap, I said it too fast and harsh.

"Huh…" Komachi regarded me with a long look. "That's how it goes… Yep, that's how it goes. Bro's already chosen his woman. It is thus a clear sign he has indeed matured and stuff. Gotta respect it."

"Gee, thanks. Just don't tell anyone. _Anyone_."

"Alright, alright already." She flinched. "Heard you the first two times. Komachi will support her big bro no matter, you know!"

* * *

With that and the lunch out of the question, I had less than four hours of free time. Wait, no, four hours till the date would start. Around 40 minutes to get to Sengen from my home which included walking to the bus stop, riding two stops more and switching to Keisei line for another two. So make that three hours and twenty minutes.

About an hour to also clean up, which I didn't particularly bother about last time. I hoped Yukinoshita- Yuki- wasn't too offended by any potential smells. Girls are notoriously picky about it.

Two hours to kill. A whole lot of time, suddenly.

Baffled, I returned to my room and took a look around. Read something? Play? Nap? Clean the room? God forbid… homework?

Wait, where did the last two come from? Would a single date make me happy so much as to consider doing _that_ out of boredom? On the other hand, I did keep stumbling on the pile of light novels on the floor for the whole week. High time to put it back into shelves downstairs.

I looked at the pile for some time. I shrugged. I gave up, gathered the first stack and lifted it. Off we go.

The pile took three trips up and down. Just as I entered my room again my eyes caught the sight of my desk and all the copy books, sheets, pencils and chargers lying on it in a neatly chaotic formation. Did you know order was merely a primitive and arbitrary relational grouping of objects in the chaos of the Universe? I did. It was written in a good foreign book also resting somewhere on the bookshelves. That was a nice phrase, allowing me not to organize my desk for months. Since right now I caught myself putting all the stuff into neat stacks and piles to further sort later, I felt somewhat conflicted about the whole quote and my life principles in general, apparently challenged and shamed into defeat at this very moment.

Hey me, stop being so happy and content, you're making me feel weird.

But me apparently didn't listen, as next thing I did was march downstairs, grab a vacuum cleaner before Komachi's very stupefied eyes and proceed to hunt all the dust in my room I cared for.

In short, when I finally remembered to check the clock amidst sorting through my wall rack and found out it was way past two, I breathed a sigh of relief yet felt a tinge of _unfinished business_ feeling.

This was going too far.

Shower. Like, right that very moment.

* * *

I stared at dad's aftershave, contemplating using it too. A double doze of shampoo, a doze of shower gel, antiperspirant, dad's cologne (forgive me, dad, for it served a greater purpose), all used in succession along with vigorous scrubbing as if I wanted to scrub all the filth off my very self (a Sisyphean task for sure). Let it never be said Hachiman Hikigaya couldn't give his all when need arose.

I found myself reaching for the vial of the aftershave and managed to stop at the very last moment. I had already applied cologne, not to mention never had to shave in my life. That was the logical reasoning I came to afterwards. Because, I'll be honest, right at that moment the main reason I stopped in time was that I remembered Home Alone.

* * *

Five minutes to four was the time of my arrival at Inagesengenmae station. I could finally calm down and start waiting for my date. Everything I could have remembered to do in preparation had been done. That even included stoically braving through Komachi's long thoughtful stare obviously evaluating my fashion choices, along with the subsequent smug smile and "have fun on your date Bro". I really could live without that, Komachi.

At the umpteenth head turn I finally spotted familiar figure heading to me. Yuki noticed me too at about the same time as she sped up and headed in my direction.

It was an honest relief and joy to the eyes seeing her almost skipping, ballet flats lightly touching the ground; her open coat fluttered, showing the hem of her dark green fitted dress which, while modestly cut, accentuated her figure in all the right places. Completing the image was her most elated smile imaginable and expression brighter than a thousand suns; in short, her sight made me grin almost ear to ear.

It was thus all the more jarring when her expression instantly went from joy to abject shock as she stopped right before me, as if hitting a brick wall, and made a startled step back. What?..

"Y-Yuki? What's wrong?" I tried approaching her which only make take another step back. I felt my heart sinking in the depths of hell. "W-What is it?"

Unable to even come closer to her, I resorted to just stay where I was, feeling ground wobbling beneath my feet, horrified to make another move which would worsen it all.

"I'm sorry, wh-whatever it is I didn't mean it to, please don't be mad at me-" I realized I started to panic. "-I mean it, I won't do that anymore, just tell me-"

"Wait! Wait- I didn't mean it like that…" She flailed her hands, visibly flabbergasted.

"Then what-"

"It's…" She fell silent, collecting her thoughts, as I was balancing the fine line between living and dying for all that time. "Is it me or did you raid your father's bath supplies shelf and used every bottle you saw there?"

…Eh?

"No… I mean…" How do you think it felt to confess such things? "…just cologne. And aftershave- wait, what aftershave, I didn't touch the aftershave, I- You're just not used to the smell? That's it?"

"I was overwhelmed to the point of suffocating wondering if it was really you." She carefully allowed. "You… may call it 'not used to'."

Silence followed.

"You recognize me by smell?"

"…Yes?" She blinked, as if at loss of words. "Every person has their own smell. If I'm in contact with them for long enough I'll remember it."

"Huh. Don't even know what to say." I paused, formulating the next question, wondering if I was prepared for the answer. "And what do I… normally smell like?"

"Your family's detergent, your shampoo…" Yuki pondered for several seconds. "One of the two you ever use, if I remember correctly… and you."

Another round of cold shivers. Called it.

"Me?.. I… I'm sorry… I'll take care of my hygiene properly-"

"Hachi." She somehow stressed both syllables, then sighed rubbing her temples. "Stop it. If there's something that bothers me, I will tell you. Isn't that what we had established long ago?"

I nodded mutely.

"So…" I hesitated, then offered her my hand. "Umm… Yuki?"

She smiled and took it, then brought it to her face and carefully sniffed. It took her couple of seconds but finally Yuki laid her face into my palm, visibly enjoying the sensation.

"Of course, Hachi." She replied, my heart melting at hearing it. "Maybe we'll need to walk a station or three to alleviate it though…"

I sighed.

"Well, fine by me. Shall we?"

"Yes." She suddenly giggled. "Pardon me for asking, but you're not even shaving. Why would you even think of aftershave?"

"I… suddenly remembered that scene in Home Alone. It's an old American movie, don't know if you watched it…"

Her giggling intensified.

"I did. Thank you for reminding me." She managed to utter, almost doubling down in laughter. I joined her, feeling immense relief.

What was I worried about again? It was going to be a good date.

* * *

As we walked to Makuhari-Hongou, Yuki gradually wrapped her arm around mine and leaned her head into my shoulder, making the last of my doubts go away.

"I promise not to do that again." I resolved to say.

"We can negotiate on about half of those," I didn't see her face, but her tone was full of mirth. "Say, shampoo, gel and antiperspirant. I'd suggest different one from yours, however."

"Alright," I couldn't help but laugh back. That was becoming a habit, wasn't it? That "laughing" thing.

Yuki gazed at me.

"It is rather weird to say, but I actually like how you laugh."

"And who, pray tell, said my laugh was creepy?"

"I'm allowed to change my mind, aren't I?"

"You are?" I mock-pondered. "Huh. I can laugh for you all day."

"Please don't," she put a finger on her forehead, though still smiling. "What are the plans for today?"

"Tsutaya in Tsudanuma?"

In response Yuki hugged my arm in exaggerated joy.

"Oh, you know all the right words. My heart is like an open book for you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

I finally fully wrapped my arms around her, to which she leaned into me and hugged back. I didn't even bother trying to kiss her; feeling Yuki, all of Yuki, right beside me and listening to my beating heart was more than enough. When she briefly kissed me and rubbed her nose against mine afterwards I gladly accepted it; in all fairness, right then I wanted to stay there longer, on that cramped empty street along the rail track.

Everything else could wait.

* * *

Choices were inevitable part of our lives.

They would appear at any moment, in any place. They can be easy, pleasant, hard, mind-crushing, infuriating, important, moot. Rarely they could be nothing like those above, but instead weird, making you rethink your whole life and plain _baffling_.

Watch Yuki tiptoe around aisles, gazing at the shelves with wide eyes, free from any concern and full of curiosity, or go pick up the books I wanted?

See her ponderingly put a finger on aisles' contents, pick a book or two, check the annotation while tilting her head, carefully put it back, or concentrate on finally reaching the light novels section two aisles away?

Help her reach for the topmost shelf but not before watching her raise on the tips of her toes with her hand outstretched?

Wait, no, the last one wasn't even a proper choice, but instead another chance to inhale her hair, then wrap my hand around her waist for support, then hand her the nature album she tried to reach but then use it to cover me briefly kissing her. The realization of what I just did came just a second afterwards as I made another attempt to stumble to my light novels again, with Yuki watching me while covering her smile with that same album all the time.

That… was counterproductive. Yes. Let's use 'counterproductive'. I got used to it all faster than I would ever imagine.

"Oh, there you are." I heard Yuki approach me as I was checking the new additions.

"Picked something already?"

"I did," she replied showing me the cover.

"Europe in Autumn? What's that?"

"Recently I had a sudden craving for spy thrillers, all thanks to you. This was in recommendations corner." Yuki looked at the back cover. "The annotation says something along the lines of Le Carre meets modern science fiction. I have a feeling I'll like it."

"Le Carre… Oh, it's that author who's written slow-paced thrillers about Cold War?" I squinted, trying to remember. "Ah, right. Yeah, that's what my dad used to read. I think I found them on our bookshelf once."

"And?"

"… I gave up. Something like Heavy Object suits me better." I pointed at volumes 13 and 15 sitting nearby.

"Oh. To each his own, I suppose." She tilted her head looking at the shelves. "Where is volume 14 by the way?"

"Probably out of print. It's pretty normal for light novel aisles in book stores to miss earlier volumes."

"Interesting."

Yuki switched her attention to the long selection of light novels.

"'The Time I Had Been Reborn as a Slime', 'Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody', 'Well-Tempered High Knight and The Valkyrie of Covenant'… 'The Demon Lord From the Other World and the Slave… Magic?'" She looked at me with a weird mix wonder and judgement. "That is quite a mouthful."

"Stop looking at me like _I'm_ the one writing those."

"I have a suspicion you're the one _reading_ those."

"I'm not!" Her look changed to 'really now?'. "Well, some of those. And they're better than you think!"

"Such as?" Yuki elegantly raised her brow.

"Like Tensura, or Death March, Idunno…"

"What are those about?"

"Well, ordinary people get transferred to parallel worlds and gradually becoming stronger there… That's the gist."

"Same as with the others on the aisle, I presume?"

"Others on this shelf."

"All about being transferred to the other world better than their own?"

"You point being?"

"I just wonder if there's anything new to say on the matter since Edmond Hamilton's Star Kings." she randomly picked one volume and briefly skimmed through the annotation. "'Transferred into the game'… Have you by any chance read Otherland by Tad Williams?"

"N-no?"

"Do read it then," Yuki sighed and flipped several pages. "Pictures?"

"Illustrations!" I knew where it was going. "What's wrong with _that_ now, you noble high literature snob?"

Her lips started quivering and finally turned into a teasing smile.

"Last time I had read a picture book was at the age of seven."

I just sent her a long disapproving look.

"Fine, but can I at least recommend Heavy Object to you? It's not about parallel worlds, I promise. Just two guys using smarts and a bit of explosions to take down opposing armies' mechas."

"As in recommendation for a recommendation? And I do admit, that is something I'd like." Yuki gave me a once-over. "Certainly would fit your methods too, in a way."

"Good." I couldn't help but clasp and rub my hands with an evil smile. "My plan to corrupt you to become more like me is moving splendidly."

Yuki just sighed again.

"Let's go search for Tad Williams, my dear Picture Book Dark Lord."

Short search revealed no Otherland in the stocks, though one book by the same author had Yuki stop and look at the cover with a wistful smile.

" _An' he liked 'em sweet, an' he liked 'em fat. Sing: Hey-crack, derry-crack, liked his rats._ " Yuki quoted, that small smile never leaving her face. "Tailchaser's Song. I had read it at twelve. It feels like an eternity now. Have you, by the way?"

"Nope." I looked at the cover: cats. "Oh. Figures. Is it like Souseki's I am a Cat or something?"

"Nothing of the sort. Nor is it like The Life and Opinions of Tomcat Murr, if you decide to inquire me about any other classic satire featuring cats."

Showing off, weren't you.

"That's a start. What's it then?"

"It's actually a fantasy journey and a coming of age story. If you don't mind, I'd like you to read it too. I may even buy it for you as a present."

"I won't stoop that low," I grimaced. "Fine, I'll buy it."

"Good," Yuki smiled.

* * *

"Next week will be trickier," Yuki softly said, holding me tight at the familiar bus stop. "I don't know exactly when Sister goes out throughout the week yet. And I don't think we can cancel club meetings too much."

"How about meeting here at seven and waiting for an hour?" I replied, gently stroking her hair.

"At eight. Bus schedule won't allow me to come home that fast."

"Won't be many places to get to that late."

"We'll think of something."

"Would you mind walking?" I reached for her cheek with one hand.

"Now?" She leaned into my palm, allowing me to trace her ear.

"No, in general. Like, walk the streets for the sake of it… or something."

"I think that'd be lovely too." Yuki momentarily let go of me to check her watch. "Five minutes till the bus."

"Sure." I carefully put my fingers under her chin and gently lifted it, to which Yuki just smiled, then closed her eyes and parted her lips in anticipation. Huh, it was that easy…

Each subsequent kiss was less electrifying, yet more steadily pleasant and enjoyable.

I could already say with confidence I liked it like that.

* * *

Sunday meant eventual Monday. Monday meant school.

The mind-numbingly usual routine of dressing up, grabbing breakfast, riding to school (good thing I finally remembered to take my bike back after the Saturday date) and finally arriving to the entrance felt very surreal today. The reason for that was as simple as it was stupid: in those three days I plain forgot school existed.

My mom once said something of that sort five or so years ago, when by some divine miracle her company rewarded her overtimes with a whopping two-week vacation; mom used it wisely by first sleeping to her heart's content, then staying in Kagoshima to enjoy the sun and sea, then sleeping off again. And "I forgot my company existed" was probably the most telling phrase she said on vacation's last day.

Way to go, mom! That's the best vacation a working adult could ever wish for! God I didn't want to work.

Nevertheless school was still there, as were all my classmates: at their usual seats, in their typical groups, they were chatting away about their mundane topics. A silent reminder of the world moving on no matter what happened to me.

Normally I would opt for a gloomy sigh. Today I just smiled to myself my no doubt very creepy smile. Think of me what you will; I had the best weekend of my life with a girl none of you were even worthy of and I could smugly and "unintentionally" brag about it at the first opportunity what was I thinking right now what opportunity you numbskull wipe that stupid smile off your face and stop drawing attention in general. Yes, just go to your seat. Sit. Take your pencil case, yes, like that. Now notes and textbooks. Alright, your book you were reading too. Now sit and read. Happy dumbass.

Sighing and thinking of what happens to spies when they got busted, I opened Tailchaser's Song and went on reading. Gotta thank Yuki for recommending it to me: the story, together with feline folklore and legends, was really fun. Not to mention Roofshadow was a totally lovely kuudere. Why bother going all the way for that stupid Hushpad you idiot?

Classes started; out of the corner of my eye I checked Yuigahama, then Hayama. Neither of them were any different from the norm. Good. Less things to deal with. As long I myself wouldn't show any signs of changes.

On the fourth break I was approached by the class' resident angel.

"Hello, Hachiman."

"Hi there Totsuka."

He was radiating light even more than the usual. Normally I would note how blinding it was, but it seemed I gained some immunity lately. Why, I wondered.

"How do you do?"

Exchanging short meaningless phrases with him semi-daily had become a habit; basically, I once realized, it was the dreaded small talk I disliked so much. At first it made me kinda anxious as to what to answer, until I realized the answer actually didn't matter. Thus, bit by bit, heaven-sent Totsuka taught me how to have pleasant meaningless conversations with people… hahaha, of course not, just him.

"Same as usual. You?"

"Me too."

See, just like that. A polite meaningless answer to a polite meaningless question. Doesn't obligate either of us to anything-

"By the way… there's a girl I like. I think I'll ask her out tonight. It's just sort of embarrassing, to say such things… Is it okay if I tell you? I'd like to share it with someone…"

…Come again?

There suddenly was a sound of falling stuff. It came from the general direction of a flock of female classmates to the left of us, who now were staring at Totsuka with expressions of pure, unadulterated blankness.

Well, so much for sharing it with me.

"Uhhh. Yeah, sure. Good luck with that. I'm serious. Just those right there might have thought something weird about it, is all," I ineptly pointed at the gawking girls.

"Oh. I'm sorry," he turned to them, "I didn't mean to startle you. My apologies again. Can you keep it a secret for the time being?"

With that Totsuka, all very flustered, bowed to the girls and left without waiting for them to dumbly nod back. Oh my angelic Totsuka, you still had faith in humanity and appealed to their consciousness. Poor, though pure, but still incredibly poor soul.

As I predicted, immediately at the start of the next break the group of girls spread to the other cliques at their desks to share the news. Hushed gasps and eyes burning with curiosity ensued. Saika Totsuka really was a hot commodity with a devoted fan club; news of the century.

All that made me wonder what would happen if people caught wind of me and Yuki going out. All the scenarios I imagined were… not very optimistic.

As was befitting a good spy fiction, I couldn't even tell if Totsuka's little interjection was a welcome distraction for the whole class or a spanner in the works which would eventually draw attention to me by association and lead to my doom.

Make the gods laugh by telling them your plans indeed.

I inwardly sighed and forced myself to stop thinking about it.

Clubroom awaited.

* * *

"Yukinon, Yukinon, turns out Sai-chan has a girl to confess to!"

While not the best way to start a conversation in our clubroom, it sure was a good way to make Yuki almost flush nose-first all the tea she had just planning to gulp. Fortunately she composed herself fast enough and sent me a bewildered look.

"Don't look at me like that. It's true though."

"I guess… thank you for the heads-up?" Yuki testingly replied. "It's Totsuka-san you're talking about, correct?"

"Yep!"

"I… think I would like to hear the details?" That was the correct answer. Just as Totsuka had taught me meaningless conversations, Yuigahama seemingly succeeded at teaching Yuki girl talk.

Not that I minded though. Yuigahama was good at distracting her from both sending me sneaking looks and keeping her mind off the current state of things. For that I was grateful.

Yeah.

Grateful.

Less than a week till we tell her. From the corner of my eye I saw Yuki's face sometimes darken for a fraction of a second; she clearly thought about the same things.

For now, though, all was right with the world.

All even kept being right when I went home at night after unsuccessfully waiting for Yuki at our meeting spot. On one hand I didn't feel all that depressed. On the other I realized I got used to her walking close to me too fast; to her smile and playful expression in her eyes, to her figure so teasingly close, to her gladly reciprocating my embraces.

Oh for… Keep it together, Hachiman. There was always tomorrow.

* * *

Yuki's nose lightly touched my cheek, chin and shoulder.

"Sniffed anything suspicious?"

"In fact yes, I did," Yuki looked me square in the eye and raised her brow. "You have another woman."

I shifted my eyes away from her.

"Her name is…" words were stuck in my mouth, "… Komachi."

"What is she up to lately, that Komachi of yours?" She asked matter-of-factly and wrapped herself around my arm.

"Well, she had attended exams to Soubu. The results should come somewhere next week."

"Probably worried, isn't she?"

"Yeah, kinda sorta. I think she handles it way better than I had back then though."

Yuki reached for my hair and gently stroke them, to which I leaned my head in.

"Shall we go?"

"Right. We're kinda late today, so how about a walk along Kemigawa?"

"Agreed. In fact," Yuki opened her bag, "I anticipated it, so I decided to treat you to some coffee in return."

With that she took out a thermos.

"You mean you brewed it?" She nodded, then opened the cup lid and poured some of it. The liquid smelled like coffee, but sweeter and with various other condiments.

"Would you?"

"Alright."

Thee coffee tasted surprisingly balanced, with its natural bitterness offset by what seemed like honey, with spices adding slightly tingly aftertaste. The general result was… not bad. Not bad at all.

"Honey with cinnamon?"

"And a pinch of mint," she nodded and looked at me apprehensively: "Do you like it?"

"Uhh… Yeah. Yeah, I do," I managed to respond after finishing the drink.

Yuki made a small smile, seemingly relieved.

"I thought you liked tea." I noted.

"That I still do," Yuki replied pouring another cup for herself and taking a gulp, "but coffee is fine too time after time."

"Ummm… Thanks. Just in case."

"No worries. It's two birds with one stone… Hmm. I think I'll try a small pinch of star anise powder instead next time. Mint gives more bitterness than I thought-"

She suddenly gave a cup a once-over.

"Oh my goodness. We just shared an indirect ki-ki-kiss."

At this point I just gave her a look, then indulged myself by leaning down and briefly kissing her.

"You're almost as good at deadpanning as me." I smugly noted releasing her chin. "Maybe you'll even be superior. In another ten thousand years or so."

"My, thank you." Yuki stashed her thermos and took my hand in hers; I leisurely guided her north, where the river was supposed to be.

Nights were gradually becoming warmer, so this Tuesday evening felt pleasant already. While overall quiet, the night air was nevertheless filled with sounds: cars far away moving through Keio road, planes flying somewhere over the scattered clouds, crickets here and there, low hum of the air conditioners from the houses around. Some of the windows were lit up, adding to the streetlamps' and sporadic vending machines' illumination, creating a soft ambiance.

"I just thought about how rarely I roam places like this," Yuki softly mused, stroking my palm absentmindedly. "The park by my condo is livelier. Here, though… it's very soothing. Even the air conditioners working add up to it, not disrupt. The light of streetlamps illuminating the narrow street between the concrete fences, the smell of the river nearby… So confined, yet so strangely comfortable."

"Something like that, yeah. Ever thought it's just us the inhabitants being used to crammed spaces?"

"Most probably. When I stayed abroad, I once was taken to the Space Claw in San Francisco. It's their old retranslator tower on the mountain to the west of the bay. The view was breathtaking. The acquaintances told me it was a tradition of theirs to bring their Japanese newcomers there and watch their reaction."

"Huh. You never told me about it."

"I…" Yuki stuttered and somewhat guiltily smiled to me. "Probably later. Way, way, way later."

"Alright." I carefully caressed her cheek, feeling it would soothe her some. She acknowledged the gesture by kissing my palm and stroking it with her other hand.

"Thanks for the recommendation the other day, by the way," I switched topic. "Turned out really fun. And I ship Roofshadow now."

"Ship?.. Oh, think they'd be romantically involved…" Yuki pondered. "I have a suspicion you have a thing for girls like that."

"No no no. I know where it's going." I interrupted. "My type is you. Just you. You heard me."

That made her burst out laughing.

"Suddenly you say the _corniest_ things in existence. What happened? How do you do it?"

"Good thing you haven't seen the early drafts of that letter for your shoe locker." She looked at me inquiringly. "I disposed of them." Her look turned into a disappointed one. "It's true."

Yuki just sighed.

"And to think I saw you that first time and wondered if we could even communicate in the same language."

To think you'd be able to laugh freely too…

"I… didn't think you would laugh freely like that too." At her slightly frightened gaze I hastily corrected myself: "I mean… I just wanted to say I like your laugh."

At that Yuki blushed fiercely as we kept walking through this cloudy night, alone and undisturbed.

Perfect quiet Tuesday.

* * *

"Nyaa."

"Mrrrr."

That was expected.

"Nyaa?"

"Mrr."

Somebody please remind me of what exactly I was hoping for.

"Nyan."

"Mrrr."

Madness is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.

"Nyaa-nyaa."

"Mrr."

In short, it was Thursday and Yuki was merrily and successfully failing the Cat Cafe Test. To be precise, currently she was engaging in a conversation with a small tabby tom crouching on top of the cat tower and looking at her suspiciously from above. While his tail was waggling slowly left and right, his ears and whiskers were pointed forwards, indicating interest. Curiosity was currently stronger than the cat. On both sides of the conversation.

On another note, having any cat reliably respond to your meows was something of a unique skill I had only observed in Yuki yet. No matter how much I had been trying to meow at various cats throughout my life they never responded. Ever.

Yuki was mysterious and mesmerizing in so many ways.

Oh well. There were plenty of other cats besides my girlfriend around here.

Getting acquainted with all the furry population of Cafe Seiran took me about half an hour: reach out your fingers to be sniffed here, scratch some chins there, sometimes take a feather to play. When I got back Yuki was sitting on a sofa, carefully petting an all-white furball I haven't seen yet, apparently female. Said furball stayed a safe distance away, just enough for Yuki to reach out with her hand, but still accepted long slim fingers stroking her fur.

"She's kinda wary of you."

"Mhm." Yuki nodded absentmindedly.

"Not listening to me, are you."

"Mhm."

"Fine."

There definitely was a feather toy nearby… oh, found it. Time to do something I had been itching to do for a long, long time.

In a perfectly content and satisfied state of mind I took the feather toy and waved it near her face.

Around twenty seconds later, when I was ready to give up, Yuki suddenly pinned the offending toy down in one lightning fast motion, then proceeded to catch my palm and lightly bite it.

"Very funny," she looked at me over my palm and pouted.

"Yep. Very."

Yuki shook her head, leaned back on the sofa and stretched.

"I got it. I will pay some attention to you."

"Finally." I shifted closer and hugged her waist; she in turn laid her head on my shoulder. I felt the already familiar content of enjoying her body warmth through her grey cardigan.

"Is that Yuigahama's? The cardigan, I mean."

"Yes. I had to tailor it somewhat though." I knew where it was going. Letting it slide would be wise, I thought and refrained from comments.

"How come you like cats so much?"

"Good question," she pondered. "Unlike you I never had any cats in the house, so I don't know how to properly befriend them. All I know was written in the books and guides."

"Guides? For communicating with cats?"

"Quite a lot of them too."

"The global problems of cat communication."

"Indeed," Yuki chuckled. "The thing is… during those rare times in my childhood I did see cats in the neighborhood, I couldn't help but pay attention. Quiet, and nimble, and attentive, and effective, and at the same time very cute. The more I observed, the more I was interested."

"Huh."

"And envious too, as I grew up." She lightly caressed my palm. "To be equally quiet and effective. For that matter, to be able to just scratch someone you don't like… or hop on the drawer and hiss from above… They have it so easy."

"True that. You mean… you'd really do that if you could?" I stared blankly at her. "I…"

At this point I gave in and started laughing quietly.

"Can't help it," I replied to Yuki's disapproving look. "I had just imagined you doing it at Yuigahama."

"That indeed would be funny," she finally gave up and joined me.

I hugged her closer, enjoying her warmth some more.

Some time later Yuki curled up on the couch, put her hands on my chest and pressed herself into it, as if trying to fight off a cold.

"Yuigahama-san…"

I knew where it was going too.

"Yeah. We have to tell her," I replied, reaching out to stroke her hair. Yuki leaned her head into it with a sad expression, as if trying to find comfort.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

"Will you be there with me?" Yuki looked into my eyes, her expression almost pleading.

"I will."

She cupped my face, then lowered her head again and put it on my shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you."

* * *

"Why the long face, Hikki? Did something happen?"

Yes, Yuigahama. Friday happened. That meant my and Yuki's week of pure bliss has ended. And right now we were going to the clubroom so we would bring down the news to you.

"What's with my face?" I decided to feign ignorance. "My face is as usual."

"It's not." Yuigahama made two steps to stay ahead of me and looked into my eyes from below. "You always make that face whenever something's troubling you."

I just vaguely shook my head, to which she pouted.

"You're always like that. You can always tell me, you know. No need to drag it all along."

Exactly, Yuigahama.

"Let's just get to the clubroom."

The first thing I did after opening the door was to locate Yuki. Upon noticing us she nodded in greeting, then looked at me, her eyes betraying worry, anxiety and a tinge of fear.

It's not like I didn't feel exactly the same. I had spent that night in a now familiar insomnia, trying to figure out how to spell it all out briefly, concisely, on point and as gently as possible. Judging by Yuki's tired expression, she did exactly the same. All I could really do was just nod back.

After confirming with me Yuki stood up.

"Good afternoon, Yuigahama-san."

"Uhh, hi? Yukinon? Why the long face too?"

"We want to tell you something. Both of us."

"Both-" Yuigahama looked at me, then at her. Her face immediately fell. "-oh."

Not the sharpest tool in the shed, yes. Complete dunce, no. In fact, Yuigahama had what both of us didn't: the wonderful ability to _feel_ people. Not just understand, not simply emote with or be empathetic to, but fully feel. A result of her troubled early school years no doubt, it helped her many times.

It also let her realize what we meant exactly, which was a good thing.

The bad thing was we had to spell it anyway. Aloud, using words, clearly and unambiguously.

I caught Yuki's questioning look and nodded. My turn's first.

"Yuigahama…" I started, looking into her sad eyes, "You may probably guessed already, but we, both of us, wanted to be clear with you. No misunderstandings anymore. So…"

I tried to swallow a lump in my throat.

"… Me and Yuki- Yukinoshita, we're dating. I asked her out and she agreed."

Yuigahama just nodded, her whole posture reminding me of a very fragile glass vase; one clumsy hand motion and it would break.

"As Ha- Hikigaya-kun had pointed, we wanted to be clear with you. We both didn't want to go through what happened the last time we had a misunderstanding."

"How… how long?" Yuigahama weakly asked.

"A week," I replied.

"So last Friday…"

"Yeah. I had to contact Yukinoshita via letter beforehand and make a cover-up so no one would notice. I'm sorry. I really didn't see any other way." I bowed.

"It's my fault too, Yuigahama-san. I wanted this week for myself so we'd be happy, both of us, before we… talk to you. So please forgive me for my selfishness too," Yuki also bowed.

"Eh… G-guys, s-stop. It's alright, really." Yuigahama managed a shaky smile. "I knew it long ago. You're always so… in tune, like, on the same brainwave…"

Yuigahama rubbed her cheeks as if trying to come to her senses, then slowly lowered her hands again.

"I… never had a chance, did I?" She looked at me now.

Unable to reply anything, I just shook my head.

"Yeah. Thought so. It's… fine. Honest. I'm fine. I'll be fine. We're still friends, right?.."

"Yes. I… and him… we both would like to still be friends with you, Yuigahama-san." Yuki finished and bit her lip.

"Right… Thanks, really." Yuigahama's lips now were slightly twitching. "Honest. It's alright. I'll be fine… I'll be fine… I'll be fi-"

She let out a heartrending whimper and briskly walked out of the room. We heard sporadic sobs getting quieter with each step, then suddenly the sound of her dashing, away from us, away from the clubroom.

We were left alone in the empty room. For what felt like an eternity no one moved, just standing motionless like stone statues.

"We… did the right thing… didn't we?" My throat was hoarse, so I said it barely above whisper.

Yuki just nodded, then slowly approached me, took my hand in hers and leaned into my shoulder. Unable to do anything else, I just carefully took her in my arms.

It wasn't a romantic hug, or passionate; nothing like that. It was an embrace for two people who desperately tried to console each other, save what mutual warmth we had.

"That's right." I finally heard Yuki's muffled voice. "The right thing."

After a pause she added:

"It hurts."

* * *

A knock on the door didn't startle us since Yuki perked up a second before; she carefully let go of my shoulder, moved her chair a tiny bit and straightened her hair and clothes.

"Sensei has finally learned to knock," She noted with a small smile and addressed the door: "Come in."

"Hey there," Hiratsuka-sensei waved to us after entering and closing the door. We both silently nodded.

"There was one crying Yuigahama running in the general direction of the school gate so I deduced you've already started going out. Seems like," she regarded us with a thoughtful look, "I was right. Might hold off moving your chairs together that fast though."

"It's just for the time being," I replied. "Until Yuigahama returns."

"Until Yuigahama returns, eh…" Sensei sighed. "So, any thoughts of what you're gonna do in the meantime?"

"Cope, generally," Yuki bitterly smiled. "We might approach her later though."

"Good plan. Don't be surprised if she closes off even more. Just in case."

"What other options do we have?" I asked.

"Well, uhhh… wait? Or you may talk to her other friends. Now I really need a smoke… Mind if we go to the roof?"

The roof was empty, cold wind blowing through it. I turned to the sea, watching it absentmindedly.

"Alright…" Sensei lit up her cigarette before continuing: "First things first: I'm honestly glad you did it."

"What, going out or telling?.."

"Both. Takes a lot of guts to not let it fester." She inhaled the fresh sea air. "How do you feel?"

"Like dragged through a pit of mud, Sensei," Yuki summated both our feelings rather neatly.

"Yeaah, I feel you on that one," Sensei laughed. "Though you never ever said something like that to me. Or at all. Kinda always the keep-it-to-yourself type, you both. Good thing it's changing slowly."

"The question is: now what?" I interjected. "We'll wait, or try to… apologize? Or plead? Or what?"

"None of this." Hiratsuka-sensei shook her head and took another drag. "You don't have anything to apologize for, nor you should plead. Just remind her you're always waiting for her return."

"And how long will it take?"

"Hah. That's the hardest part. Maybe days. Weeks. Months." She shrugged. "Years."

"Oh."

I inadvertently lowered my eyes. Called it. A heavy feeling of regret almost crushed me, along with that nagging "what if?..". What if we could keep it secret long enough? What if we had chosen words differently? What if?.. What if?..

Warm slender hands reached for my palm and gently grabbed it.

"Don't do that," Yuki softly said.

"Do what?"

"Sulk and close off." She glanced at Sensei, who raised her brows and politely turned back. "You reached out for me, have you not? I'll do the same for you."

That… was something entirely new. Something undeservedly good, and positive. I had the familiar urge to shut off, to run away, to stew in it alone.

Crushing that urge flat took effort, but I did it consciously; caressing Yuki's welcoming hands certainly helped with that.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Hikigaya," I heard Sensei's voice. "All in all Yuigahama's a big girl, so have some faith in her. The most important for you right now is to set your priorities straight. Remember what I told you? Take care of yourselves."

I nodded again. It was all I really could do at the moment.

* * *

Friday ended with us both sending messages to Yuigahama; she replied only to Yuki, saying she was alright but needed some time. While not much it was still better than nothing.

Saturday evening was spent by the Makuhari Park shore, with us silently staring at Tokyo Bay; cuddling at the end of the date and one timid kiss, more to reassure each other than to ignite any sort of passion, were followed by a quick retreat home.

On Monday, as I entered class, I took a look at Yuigahama: she was more or less lively chatting with Miura and Ebina-san. At least she was back to normal, somewhat. When she glanced at me, her face darkened for a second; she smiled guiltily, shook her head and turned back to her friends. No more bugging her today, got it.

The club meeting that day was brightened by me giving Yuki the first volume of Heavy Object. Aside from occasional frown or massaging her temples, she was engrossed in reading. I'd have to bring next volumes in a day or two.

On Tuesday's second break I felt an ominous presence somewhere nearby. Turning my head in its general direction I noticed one very furious Miura, her eyes full of fiery anger with a hint of poison.

"You. Me. Outside. Now!"

She said it barely loud enough for just me to hear but all my classmates in the nearest vicinity instinctively leaned away in fear; some were throwing looks at me, full of wonder and pity. Well, good thing they acknowledged my existence; they could save their pity though. After a year of more closely interacting with the resident Fire Queen Yumiko Miura, not to mention stuff Service Club went through for her cozy small circle of friends who couldn't even solve their damn problems themselves, all I could say was…

… What could she do to me, really?

I shrugged, slowly stood up and leisurely followed her outside, where Miura barely had patience to walk 10 meters away from the classroom door before stopping, putting her hands on hips and starting to rapidly tap her foot.

"When I say 'now' I mean _now_ you dumb slug. Like, who do you think you are?"

A good start of a good conversation. My apologies for having been long since desensitized by Yuki's creative barbs though. I really would love to say that aloud, Miura, but you wouldn't even parse the sentence correctly, nevermind comprehend several words.

Instead, noting in surprise how much I didn't care, I just sighed.

"Morning to you too Miura. Do you mind cutting to the chase please?"

"Why you-" She angrily stared into my eyes, then switched her tapping foot and crossed her arms. "What have you done to Yui? I just asked her about your club couple times and she was, like, ready to cry on the spot. It's you an' that frigid bitch again cause who else."

Kettle called. It was not amused.

"Well? You goin' to answer that or not?"

Oh, easy.

Except not.

Would Miura be able to figure out me rejecting Yuigahama meant me dating Yuki? If yes, would she keep quiet about it, what with Hayama still with them? I've already blurted it out to Komachi (who probably could refrain from blabbering to anyone else) and Sensei (who was a responsible adult). Would I risk speaking to Miura too?

Common sense suggested I overestimated her, just to be safe. Maybe reveal it all later, or as a last resort. That meant I needed to calm down and carefully respond.

"We had an argument and spoke our minds clearly. This is a natural falling out. Nothing I can do about it at the moment."

"Bullshit." Miura's stare intensified even more. "Yui'd react better. What. Happened?"

"How's that even your business-"

"I care 'bout her, okay?" She was now almost shouting, making me flinch. "So what if she's with you jerks? She's still with us too!"

"Alright," I tiredly rubbed my eyes. Falling back to being honest it was, then. Not without some trump cards. "Just don't shout. One moment."

After scratching my head I flexed my neck and looked at her.

"I'm telling, but will also ask you to return a favor." She opened her mouth, but I raised my hand to stop her. "For what we've done for your group. Will you do that? Please answer first."

Miura's eyes drilled holes in me for some time. Then her gaze softened.

"Fine. I'll do that. Just spill it already."

After looking upwards for a second to contemplate about what my life had become, I said:

"I rejected Yuigahama."

Miura's eyes widened.

"Huh. That's why she's like that. Like, what kinda jerk are you to do that to her? She ain't pretty enough for you? Ain't nice enough? What is it?"

"I don't want to say."

She started twirling her curl.

"Ahhh. Think you have a chance with that Yukinoshita lass of yours." Miura snorted. "In your dreams."

I almost blew a sigh of relief. Almost.

"All I'm requesting is, don't tell anyone. And while we're at it, can you cheer up Yuigahama? You said you care about her after all. I'm not asking for us. I'm asking for her."

Miura shifted her weight on the other foot and flicked her hair.

"Well duh. Like I'd do anything for you lot."

With that she returned back to class. When I entered I saw her approach Yuigahama and whisper something in her ear; Yuigahama's face showed a shocked expression as she looked back at Miura. She sent a sideways glance at me, to which I turned away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her timidly nod.

Seemed like Miura had a plan.

I hoped it all would be for the better. The only point of doubt was Hayama's inquisitive stare.

* * *

Wednesday brought us at least some relief: Yuigahama wasn't seemingly down anymore, but instead somewhat lost in thought and… blushy? Not exactly blushing, just with a barely noticeable yet constant pinkish tint on her cheeks. Miura meanwhile looked overly satisfied with herself, not even regarding me with her daily doze of poison this time. And Ebina-san was (albeit good-naturedly) grumbling about having to talk to _boys_ again.

I had a strange, strange suspicion…

At least the clubroom was there for me, and so was Yuki.

"By the way, when do you normally come to the clubroom?" I asked upon entering.

"Is that your tribe's way of greeting?" She turned to me and asked, raising her brow.

"Tri-" Wasn't that what Yuki asked me all the way back on our second club meeting?.. "Yep, it is. Moreover, now that you're seeing a member of our tribe, our chief would like you to use it too."

"You're grinning," Yuki noted.

"So do you. Sure brings back memories." After approaching her I carefully touched her forehead with mine, caressing her cheeks and ears. "How do you feel?"

"Better now," Yuki gently kissed my palm. "Tea?"

"Gladly."

I made way for Yuki to stand up and turn to the electric kettle, only for it to turn out empty.

"Maybe not immediately, I'll need to make a trip to the sink. Would you mind waiting?"

"Hmm… How about we go there together?" I proposed.

"Are you sure?"

"The special wing corridors are empty right now. Besides, it's not like we're holding hands or anything. It feels…" I looked around. "… kinda lonely here recently."

Yuki looked around the clubroom ponderingly.

"To tell you the truth… it does. Shall we go?"

As I closed the door and we started walking, I asked again:

"So when do you come here normally? Whenever we arrive you're already here. And I'm fairly sure you're not a gho- local zasshiki warashi either."

"Or maybe I should bite you for the insinuation…" Yuki pondered sending me an inquiring glance. "Later, in the clubroom."

"Oh well," I shrugged. "So when?"

"Actually just ten or so minutes before you come," Yuki smiled. "It's not like I skip cla- isn't that Yuigahama-san? What's she doing?"

She pointed to the window. We were walking down the corridor connecting the main and special wings of the school building, so the windows showed the inner yard.

Right now at that school yard was Yuigahama and three boys who I vaguely identified as students of 2-A. The boys caught her in a semi-circle, her back all but pressed into the wall.

We both reflectively stopped and watched on.

While we couldn't see the others' faces, Yuigahama's showed a very nervous smile and a generally meek expression. Complete with a tense body language I'd guess she was in some sort of trouble.

"You know, yesterday Miura caught me to talk about her…" I slowly uttered. "Asking what happened. I didn't tell all of it, but next day they were talking about boys, so…"

"Do you think a group date went wrong?" Yuki caught on.

"Or right." I looked at her, seeing worry in her eyes. "What do we do?"

Yuki looked at the back yard again.

"We… What is he- he's trying to pin her hands!" She looked at me.

I felt chills down my spine; a sense of fight-or-flight I had felt so rarely in my peaceful life.

Down there, something clearly bad was happening to Yui Yuigahama. Who, despite wanting impossible things from me and almost jeopardizing everything just to stay on good terms with Yuki, nevertheless was our…

 _Friend_.

And a friend in need at that.

Next thing I knew I was already running to the nearest stairs.

"I'll go in first, you call Sensei!"

"Will do." Yuki's footsteps were close to me: she was running too. "Your plan?"

"Tank them."

"What?"

"Call Sensei!"

Hearing her slow down, I dashed to the backyard full speed ahead.

The trio turned to me as I stopped nearby.

"Get away from her!"

That was the easy part.

"Who the hell are you now?" The rightmost one, also the meanest-looking, tilted his head and started walking to me. His whole body was moving in a deceptively relaxed, almost limp manner, like someone who was arrogant and confident in their capability to beat the crap out the opponent. Either he was bluffing or I was in for a world of hurt, soon.

Well, my brain asked while melancholically noting my disappearing courage, now what?

"You her boyfriend or something? Yeah, you're not anymore. She's mine." The rest of the gang started approaching me.

"She…" I tried to calm my heart trying to leap out of my chest. "She obviously disagrees."

"Aaaaand? What do ya care, nerd ass?" The head thug's face was now showing a really unhinged smile.

"I'm her friend."

"A friend! Ya heard that?" He guffawed, with the rest following suit. "What, following her like a pup hopin' she'd notice you? That kinda friend?"

I found the shivering Yuigahama and tried to tell her to run away by shifting eyes. She gulped, but didn't move. Too scared apparently.

"Well it ain't working that way." The thug was now basically staring down into my face. Damn, he was also taller.

"How's that your problem?"

"How's that yours?" And now he started to push me over with his body, showing who was in charge here.

Any more waiting and they'll just throw me on the ground and start kicking. I had a feeling they'd do that.

Here was hoping Yuki did call Hiratsuka-sensei.

My fist flew right into his grinning face. Immediately after my knuckles burst with pain and I huddled caressing my hand. Well, at least I achieved the desired effect since his irritating grin was replaced with shock, then pure rage.

"THAT'S IT YOU'RE DEAD!"

All I managed to do was backpedal and huddle even more as his fist connected to my shoulder, sending me spinning. Just as came to my senses after that, I received another punch straight to the jaw and the next thing I saw was the world put sideways and the ground right behind my right cheek. Oh. That's how being knocked out felt.

Suddenly one of the thugs screamed in pain and doubled over. Behind him Yuki almost effortlessly pulled his hand behind him in some sort of a lock which led to the thug dropping on the ground like a sack.

Right. Yuki and her aikido. Just as she showed on the tournament.

Unfortunately this was no tournament. I didn't even have time to scream anything meaningful as the third thug simply approached her from behind, unceremoniously tugged her by the hair and turned around. Just as she started using the counter feint to get free from that the second thug sensed the opportunity, stood up and slapped her, simply tossing her aside. Her yelp of pain made me flinch and almost start crying for how powerless I felt.

"Huh. Who's this bitch now- ah. " He took a closer look at her. "Oh shit. It's Yukinoshita from J."

"So?"

"Y-you don't know her? That ho's parents are filthy rich. You wanna know what they gonna do to us?"

"Then leave her aloneAAHHHH!"

Hiratsuka-sensei had probably never ever took part in tournaments: she simply kicked the head thug in the shins, grabbed his collar and put him on the ground in one swift motion.

Afterwards she simply turned to the other two and cracked her knuckles with a mean smile.

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me." She nodded at the head thug she just downed. "Don't forget to pick up the trash."

After several moments both his friends complied.

"Thank you for your cooperation."

Damn she was cool.

* * *

I slowly raised up and limped to Yuki, who now was kneeling on the ground unsteadily.

"Yuki?"

"I'm alright… for the most part." Huge bruise on her cheek said otherwise.

"Doesn't look like it to me."

"Look who's talking- ow." She tried to smile which revealed her burst lip.

Soubu High's Ultimate Fighting Force my arse.

I slowly crouched down and raised Yuki's arm to lay on my shoulder. That elicited a gasp of pain from her.

"Sorry!" I held her more carefully.

"Arm… probably a fracture." She smiled guiltily.

"Damn."

Moving to her other side I carefully moved her arm on my shoulder and gently lifted us both.

"Am I heavy?" Yuki carefully asked as I started limping to the entrance holding her close to me.

"I know where it's going."

"Ow- please don't make me laugh until I patch up my lip." She gently caressed the bruise on my jaw. "Does it hurt?"

"I'll manage."

"Idiot."

Now we needed to make it to the infirmary.

* * *

Sensei's eyes shifted from me to Yuki, then back. Her face vaguely reminded me of something I've seen long ago… ah. Of course. Misato staring at paperwork. Yeah, exactly the same face.

I couldn't exactly blame her. I was holding ice on my jaw while Yuki sported a bandage on her arm (not a fracture, just another bruise, thank god), a couple of band-aid patches on her palms and a generous layer of makeup covering her bruised cheek.

In short, we looked like a pair of delinquents after a fight.

"So." Sensei finally said. Long pause followed.

"Let me get this straight. You saw Yuigahama being bullied, okay. You called the teaching staff, in this case me, good thinking, I give you that. Then Hikigaya ran head-on into a group of three thugs for… what, exactly?"

"I… thought you wouldn't make it in time, so I would distract them… probably." I hesitantly replied.

"Mhm," Sensei nodded, "after which Yukinoshita followed suit becaaaaause?.."

"He's not really… good at fighting," Yuki avoided Sensei's gaze like a guilty kindergarten kid.

"Oh. Solid reasoning." Hiratsuka-sensei regarded us with an unreadable expression again. "Geniuses."

I found myself following Yuki's example and averting my eyes.

Seconds passed.

I heard a loud snort followed by Sensei guffawing, then facepalming, dramatically gesturing at us for some unseen audience, finally throwing her hands up and sighing for good measure.

Then she looked at us and the guffawing resumed.

"School's prettiest Ice Queen and the gloomiest cynic involved in a fistfight." She managed to utter. "Life! What are you doing! You're too funny! Stop!"

She managed to keep herself together… for another five seconds, after which she was overwhelmed by yet another wave of laughter.

"Yeah, how do I explain all this to the principal… screw that, to anyone…"

"We apologize," Yuki guiltily said.

"Like that would help." Sensei finally contained her laughter and ruffled her own mane. "What am I gonna do with you… Ah, whatever. A metric ton of paperwork one way or another. You owe me."

"Naritake Special?" She raised her brow. "Two Naritake Specials."

"Deal." Hiratsuka-sensei massaged her neck with both hands, then looked at us again. "Between you and me: you could've done better. Receiving uppercuts is not how you're supposed to use your head, smartasses… but I'm still proud of you."

"…Thanks?" I carefully replied.

"Yeah, sure. Now go find Yuigahama and settle this already. No more fights if you please. The hell are you still here? Adults are gonna do their adult work. Shoo!"

* * *

"I think we're gonna roam around together for some time," I noted helping Yuki climb the stairs.

"I don't mind."

After finally arriving to the clubroom I carefully sat Yuki on her chair and sighed.

"Now on to Yuigahama?"

"On to Yuigahama-san it is," Yuki nodded and took out her phone from the bag.

' _Yuigahama-san, please come to the clubroom_ '

"And send."

No response.

"This is getting silly." I noted. "Alright, that's it. I don't think I have enough patience for today."

Reaching out for my phone I started typing.

' _Yuigahama, we're both badly bruised and not in the mood for chasing you. We honestly just want to talk and then you're free to avoid us. Please come._ '

"Lately you're way more direct than usual," Yuki said after looking at what I've sent.

"I am?"

"You are."

"Oh…" All I could do was shrug. "I can make some tea for you I guess."

"You can't." Yuki nodded and carefully smiled.

"You know, I'm perfectly capable of tossing some leaves into the brewing teapot and fill it with hot water… wait. Our kettle is-"

"Still on the windowsill in the corridor," Yuki nodded, "just where I left it."

"Uuuugh…" I flinched. "Nah, no motivation to go there right now."

"I told you as much." Yuki sagely nodded, looking very satisfied with herself.

I couldn't let that slide. That stray strand on her head was going to hurt.

"Pewm."

"You!-"

Though abashed, Yuki quickly composed herself and caught my hand with hers, then proceeded to bite it.

That was the precise moment Yuigahama chose to enter the clubroom.

"Am I… interrupting something?"

We both hastily retreated from each other; Yuigahama just approached the desk, giving a feeling like she would like to be very far away from here.

"No. My apologies, Yuigahama-san." Yuki straightened her clothes. "I know you're still not comfortable with us, so I'll be brief. We both wanted to communicate it to you personally: no matter what you think… We'll look out for you. Because we're still friends, Yuigahama-san."

Tense silence followed; we both were watching Yuigahama.

"You…" Yuigahama was at loss of words. "Still…"

And then her proverbial dam was broken.

"Yukinoooon!"

With that crying Yuigahama dashed to Yuki and almost crushed her in an embrace.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that Yumiko just took me to a group date she didn't know they were jerks please don't think badly of her I'm sorryyy!"

"Owww! Yuigahama-san, careful please!"

"Oh! Sorry sorry sorry Yukinon!"

"Well… I guess no more hide-and-seek from us?" I summated the whole ordeal, enjoying the feeling of immense relief.

Yuigahama just shook her head, still cuddling with Yuki.

"Good." Yuki replied, trying in vain to set free from Yuigahama's hug. "We'd have to settle for no PDA in the clubroom, however."

"PDA?" Yuigahama asked, dumbfounded. "What's that?"

"Public displays of affection," I explained through a facepalm. "Alright. It's only fair."

"I'd also like to spend some time with Yuigahama-san today." Yuki added.

"Ah. Girl time?"

She nodded with a still careful yet bright and relieved smile.

"Correct. Girl time."

I returned to my seat wondering how the most dramatic periods in my life could be resolved with the stupidest situations.

Wrong or not, my life still was a romantic comedy.

Oh well.

 _A/N: Eat, Pray, Love? Do I look like I would watch_ **that** _to you? Of course it's named after Eat Sleep Rave Repeat Eat Sleep Rave Repeat Eat-_ ahem. _Anyway, definitely no new updates till January, so merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone._


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. To me, Yuki was Many Things**

To me, Yuki was many things.

Right now, as I was holding her from behind, my nose in her hair and her hands over mine, she was wonderfully _cuddly_.

Right now we both standing by Sengen shrine's omikuji board, observing Chiba's shoreline from the cozy vantage point; though covered by the low gray skies like a pot by its lid, was nevertheless beautiful in its soothingly subdued colors. We both kept quiet, not feeling the need to break the silence.

Even though we couldn't kiss properly yet because Yuki's lip still needed a day or two just in case, I could tenderly peck her cheek, or her chin, or her fingers, one by one. Which I had done to our mutual enjoyment before.

Having survived throughout that tense week of dealing with Yuigahama, I felt something akin to crawling out of a deep and dark hole, with my deprived senses taking in all the sensations with renewed acuteness. And that of course included Yuki. How her hair tickled my face and teased me with the smell of shampoo. How small and thin she was in my arms. How gladly and readily she was leaning into me and caressing my palms. Or how she shifted the weight from one foot to another, and I felt that very physical and very joyful sensation of her her body slightly moving in my against mine.

Enjoying the soft texture of her deep blue dress, the one she wore at Destinyland this winter, was plain pleasurable; for a moment I marveled at how long ago that was. It all could be correctly summarized as that feeling of level happiness I've experienced the night after our first date. And daring and naive request it may be, at that very moment I wished my whole life would be like that: level happiness.

 _"You don't have much time, really."_

 _"Even if you start dating for, what, less than two months?.. Yeah, about two months…"_

Right. Of course. Thanks for popping up in my head and pointing me to your words out of the blue, Sensei.

Not much time. Out of my hands. Snowball's chance in hell. No matter how much I tried to mentally crush those thoughts they kept coming back with a vengeance, pushing out my feeling of happiness with numb mute nothing.

"Hachi?" Yuki's melodious voice reached me, helping me come to my senses.

"Yes?" I hastily replied.

"You're… tense." She turned to me, giving my sour form a worried once-over. "And nervous."

"Uhh… I am?"

Yuki instead gently cupped my palms in hers, then started to slowly and steadily massage them.

"You are." She looked into my eyes. "You have that very specific look on your face again. I had told you already: don't hole up."

"Sure… Thanks…" I was speaking slowly, word by word, trying to compose myself. "How's… Yuigahama?"

Yuki inquisitively squinted.

"I'll bite you."

"If… you want to."

That made her tilt her head in exasperation. Finally Yuki looked into my eyes again, with a knowing smile this time.

"More time?"

"Please."

"Well then," she closed her eyes with a wistful expression, "Yuigahama-san's fine. She's in fact back to the norm faster than I thought. Very curious about us too, but I suspect I'd rather not divulge this soon. We also agreed to spend some time alone more often."

"As friends… should, right?"

"Not 'should', Hachi. As friends like to. Just as we like to spend time together."

That made me pause for several seconds.

"Were you always this insightful before?"

Yuki opened her eyes and shook her head.

"Even if us three had to shoot ourselves in the foot twice to learn our lessons, we still have learned, haven't we? Maybe it's time to become, as you called it, 'insightful'."

"True that." I nodded. "We like to think we're smart after all, right?"

"Precisely. So… what's wrong?"

To me, Yuki was many things. Right now she was genuinely caring and affectionate, and patient, and simply _understanding_.

I opened my mouth and inhaled the air only for something small and wet poke my nose from above. Then once more onto my face. Then the moderate rain mentioned in the morning forecast chose this exact time to finally begin.

"Eek- Cold!" Yuki shivered beside me. "One second, let me find my umbrella."

"I think mine's closer." I took a small light umbrella from my coat pocket and opened it, holding Yuki closer so we both could fit; took a long time convincing Komachi to lend it to me. "Don't like standing in the rain all that much. You?"

"How weird, neither do I. Maybe we were destined to be together." Yuki faintly smiled. "I doubt you know the area any better than I do, so… oh. There was a small eatery almost right at the park entrance. Kurachan or something to that effect…"

"Ah, right, kushiyaki joint. Should be affordable enough to sit out the rain." I pondered. "You'll get tired standing and walking soon anyway."

"I am improving." She said it in a measured tone yet somehow stressed every word, clearly showing she was mortally offended by the notion. I just smiled at that.

"Well…" Yuki started after we settled on a table furthest from the entrance and ordered our tea and a plate of chicken bits on a skewer. "No more distractions in the way. Shall we… resume?"

I made an effort to nod, to which Yuki carefully covered my palm with hers.

"It's…" Oh hell, I thought. Here goes. "Sensei mentioned you might leave to study abroad for your third year."

Yuki's palm abruptly squeezed mine, her nails almost piercing my skin. Just as I was about to note it Yuki caught herself and tried to gently cover it again. Her hand was slightly tense though. So was she herself.

"I brought it upon myself, didn't I?.." She sadly mused. "And here I thought I'd be mature enough to handle it. I…"

Yuki raised her eyes at me, and the look on her face alone urged me to draw her closer and bring her forehead to mine. She just closed her eyes and put her hands on my chest as she took deep breaths.

"It's… true." My heart sunk. "Not exactly officially true, but Sister was ordered to study abroad for her second year and… given how my mother sees… me… I probably will have it the same."

I fell silent, not knowing what to say.

"I guess…" Yuki resumed. "From your reaction, you brought it on yourself too, didn't you."

"… Yeah."

For some time we kept sitting forehead to forehead. The waitress with our tea grinned and seemingly wanted to say something teasing, but then took a closer look and quietly left.

Time flowed by.

"The tea…" I softly reminded. "It'll get cold."

"No doubt it will." Yuki, smiled, weakly but with a slowly emerging mirth. "I'm better now, thank you."

I reached for my cup, listening to the rain outside absentmindedly.

"Yet another thing to confess," Yuki admitted after taking a sip, "I'm deeply ashamed of my behavior toward you when we just met. Everyone, you, Yuigahama-san, Hiratsuka-sensei…"

"Eh, part of the charm by now."

"Doesn't make it any less shameful. Though I appreciate your comment." She briefly smiled before becoming somber again. " It's… it's just…"

Yuki traced the rim of her cup, gathering her thoughts.

"For the longest time in my life, I…"

She fell silent and bit her lip.

"It's alright. I'm listening."

"Thank you. I… I felt powerless. Like every choice possible was yanked away from me. No matter what I wanted to do, it was always met with resistance. Nothing overt, or explicit, but rather…" She took another sip, looking through the cup. "To whatever I requested or expressed interest in, there always was a list of valid counterpoints. No matter what argumentation I came up with for reasoning, in the end I always was persuaded otherwise. And… even though I shouldn't… I always felt guilt. I reasoned I probably just wanted too much. Then I carefully measured time between my requests so they wouldn't be too frequent. I tried my best to be humble and polite about them."

Yuki stopped and stared at nowhere in particular. Some time later she sipped some more and continued.

"Yet in the end I always lost the argument and, again… felt guilty. Eventually though, when I wasn't feeling guilt, I started feeling… can anger and apathy be even felt at the same time? This is the closest I can describe it."

"… Nihilism?" I suggested.

"Now that you say it… yes, exactly. Nothing matters, nothing's meaningful, nothing would ever change." She sharply inhaled and I saw a lone tear slowly finding its way on her cheek.

"Yuki?.. Are you crying?" In retrospect it was a really dumb question, even if I couldn't think of anything else at the time.

"Sorry?.. Oh. I am." She hastily wiped it off. "My apologies, I won't-"

I tightly hugged her, slowly stroking her hair.

"Nah, I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say anyway."

"Oh goodness," She giggled, visibly relieved. "Well… for what it's worth, it was in this exact state that Sensei noticed me and proposed a club where I would find solutions for people. Just a week before you showed up. A coincidence to end all coincidences."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. And that actually helped me. At least I didn't feel so powerless anymore. Can't say the same about being angry at everyone though…"

"That… explains a lot. Good thing Yuigahama was so persistent."

"Yuigahama-san… actually was the first person to hug me." She buried her face in my chest. "Aside from Sister, but in her case the next thing afterwards always was some sort of a prank. Yuigahama-san's hugs were so… different I didn't know how to react… Think of that what you will."

"…Oh." I paused. "I guess… you can hug me whenever?"

"I know as much," Yuki looked up and smiled that precious little smile, "But thank you for offering."

We sat like that some more. The waitress approached us again, this time with a plate of chicken bits on skewers; she did her best to silently convey she'd really like us to order more. I just quietly ordered more tea. She shrugged and left. I returned to cuddling Yuki.

"Wonder how you ended up living alone though," I mused aloud, then realized what I just said. "-oh. Nevermind, it was tactless."

"I don't mind," Yuki looked at me. "As long as it's you. Or someone close."

She straightened her hair, suddenly looking very tired.

"It's a long and daunting story. In the middle of my first year the desperation took the better of me. I wanted to run away, somewhere, anywhere. I almost started packing, but… Sister… found out almost instantly. Laughed at me, of course… a lot. But then she half-jokingly suggested I ask to move to a separate apartment. Judging by her look of surprise when I actually did ask she didn't mean it seriously." She smiled to herself. "I take some consolation in the fact."

Yuki fell silent. The rain outside was steadily drumming on the asphalt. I waited on.

"Asking was the easy part. Mother… didn't take it well. She asked how I could even think of such thing, and why I hated her so much, and what inconveniences I'd have to put the all through. And… " She took a deep breath. "That I was hiding something from her because there was literally no reason I would want to separate otherwise. And what I was hiding. And how I was entirely unprepared for living on my own. And…"

"…You don't have to."

"It's alright, actually." Yuki leaned into my hand on her head. "I feel better now. In the end, when she told me the talk was over and I was dismissed, I was almost ready to kneel and apologize… Fortunately my father intervened and said he'd do it. That was so rare I couldn't even believe it at first. Frankly, me setting in alone in the new place was a breeze afterwards."

"Huh. You probably were scared…"

"I was. I couldn't even sleep the first night because of the noises and emptiness."

"…A breeze?" I couldn't help but raise my brow at that.

"A breeze. Honest." She nodded firmly. "I stand by my words."

It was one thing to read about things like this one. Observing it in practice was not like that at all.

"You know, your mother is… manipulative. Kinda weird… I've read about it, but every time I encountered evil parents or somesuch, I always thought it can't be serious."

Yuki visibly shrank and looked away.

"Can't be helped."

 _"Can't be helped"_

 _"Can't be helped"_

 _"Can't be helped"_

I couldn't even say anything anymore; those words just kept ringing in my head uninetrrupted.

The more I listened to Yuki, the more I experienced a new feeling, the one I also had only read about before, described in a very specific bunch of books: the works of Howard Lovecraft. And the feeling was of existential, cosmic dread against the forces man can't comprehend, nevermind protect himself from.

I technically knew about arranged marriages, in ancient royal families and whatnot. While I doubted it was all that widespread nowadays, I also had to take into account those who did it willingly, to pursue their goals. It occurred to me that Yukinoshita matriarch might be one of them as well. The Yukinoshitas weren't all that noble or hadn't any history to begin with; so it probably was just an ambitious woman marrying a promising man, watching or helping him build his financial success, having his children to be turned into worthy heirs…

A loner I was, I still had knowledge about how humans procreated (no, not just from that stash in the wall rack). So I couldn't help but have this strange and somewhat inappropriate, in a peeking and stalking sort of way, yet morbidly curious thought: when she was making love to him, when she was carrying Yuki, giving birth to Yuki, in pain and struggle, then nursing her at her chest… wasn't she feeling any sort of love, a bond that connects a mother to her child? What was she thinking while saying all those words to her own daughter?

All my life, as taught by our cultural traditions, I kept my opinions about people I didn't know to myself. Whenever I stumbled onto Yuki's family situation, again and again, I always told myself to stop making assumptions because I didn't know anything.

I fully intended to do so this time. But the nagging worm of doubts was already there, eating me from inside.

To me, Yuki was many things. One of them was that she was someone worth being nice to, someone precious, someone worth _caring about_.

What was she to _them_?

"Hachi?"

"Oh. What?" I gave a startled reply.

"You were lost in thought for quite some time. Have I… told too much?"

"No… no, you didn't. You have it harder anyway, I think."

"Nothing I can't manage. Besides, talking to you was… therapeutic, in a way." Yuki nuzzled my shoulder. "I have been thinking time to time of what I should do about it. Back then, I was ready to go through it all, to help my father in his work. As I've told you before I'm not really sure anymore. In fact, I think I have some compelling arguments to lay before my mother. Worst case scenario, I'll have to leave for a year, but… I promise I'll wait for you."

"So will I. It's not like she would incarcerate or throw you away for that, right? That'd be too much."

"No, she probably won't." Yuki smiled in relief. "Oh. The rain had stopped. Would you mind some walking?"

"Nope."

After paying for our orders and countering the waitress' stare we exited outside, into the fresh air.

Every rainfall will eventually stop… right?

* * *

It was sometimes funny to realize that your perception had shrunk to your immediate surroundings; though the realization itself usually happened right after someone or something from outside your cozy little bubble just barged into it and reminded you that life outside existed. That people lived, changed and experienced things, with you none the wiser.

On Saturday morning a very unique event occurred which didn't normally happen on Saturday mornings: suddenly I was attacked by a happily shouting jumpy bundle of energetic happiness and unceremoniously glomped. The fact that said bundle of energetic happiness also tried jumping up and down while still glomping me didn't help matters much.

This may sound like the Earth suddenly being attacked by jumpy glomping aliens, but in fact it was just Komachi celebrating her acceptance to Soubu High. Apparently she had already went to school to check first thing in the morning and return back. Naturally she already shared her joy with Kamakura, then mom, then dad. I was the last in line, courtesy of waking up fashionably late.

As she was tugging me in all directions at once, musing aloud on where she should get her new uniform and what she was supposed to call me now, all I could do in response was just lightly pat her on the shoulder, say my congratulations and be quietly glad I had one less problem… out of a rather hefty list, but still.

The world truly was a separate entity with its own consciousness and intentions; and one of them was to poke you awake time after time to say that it was moving on whether you wanted it or not, that would be all, thanks, bye. You then would shiver awake, fallen out of your state of ruminating over things past and present, and suddenly notice everything around you with a renewed and refreshed look.

Monday was livened up by one Saika Totsuka entering the classroom with a girl under his right arm. By "livened up" I meant "everyone's eyes homed on him like a flock of doves on a bread loaf". The particular girl in question was our classmate; she was seated at the first row by the window, had flaxen shoulder length hair and an okay face, showed a moderately sanguine personality and wasn't antagonistic to any of the class' cliques. Ondou was her last name, though I couldn't say that for sure.

Ondou (let her be Ondou, for clarity's sake) had a bright smile that didn't fade one bit under the scrutinizing looks. Totsuka meanwhile had a humble yet generally cheerful upturn of lips and did his best to avoid gazes, though I couldn't say he was exactly embarrassed or shy about the whole ordeal.

Upon entering the class he lead his… girlfriend?.. date?.. to her desk, letting her go ahead since the space between desks was too narrow. This was followed by a blindingly exceptional show of gallantry as he helped her take her seat, courteously bowed and started walking to his, his face showing that same slightly shy smile.

When did he learn to do that?..

After I picked up my proverbial jaw I, out of habit, checked on the rest of the class. The boys were expressing a predictable mix of wonder and envy. The girls… showed mild curiosity, being entirely unsurprised. And it wasn't even a "no worries, we'll kill her in the backyard later" sort of unsurprised which, frankly, was to be expected. That only served to amplify my overall impression that I made a wrong turn on my way to school and ended up in a parallel world.

"Hi there Hachiman," Totsuka smiled and waved to me as he was strolling past.

"Y-yo." I hesitated, not quite knowing what to do. The last time something like this happened was actually never. I only could shrug internally at the predicament. "That… uhhhh… was an interesting way of entering the classroom."

"Erm…" Totsuka actually blushed. "Don't remind me. Though that was part of the agreement with Ondou-san."

Huh. So Ondou after all. I was able to properly memorize the names of people I couldn't care less about. That was great. Yuki and Yuigahama would sure be glad I wasn't a lost cause on socialization.

"Agreement, you say… Does that mean you, what, explicitly settled on you walking her to her seat in class?"

"Among other things." Totsuka's smile turned a special sort of polite, the one meaning "no more questions about _that_ if you don't mind".

"Well… Congrats then. You confessed and she accepted. You're one lucky guy, seriously."

Totsuka's smile, while still polite, turned somewhat… _strained_.

"… It's not her I was going to confess to," he admitted, very quietly all of a sudden.

At the risk of repeating myself:

…Come again?

"I'm… I'll explain some t-time l-later," Totsuka started stammering under my bewildered stare. "It's complicated. Please, Hachiman?"

If there was anyone resistant to a "please, Hachiman?", it sure wasn't me. All I could was shrug and nod dumbly, to which Totsuka visibly calmed down, flashed me an angelic smile, nodded goodbye and went to his seat.

Next two classes came and went without a hitch. During the break right afterwards I felt a familiar presence again.

"S-sup… Hikio." None other than Yumiko Miura was standing next to my desk, thankfully not emanating poisonous aura this time. For that matter, upon a closer look, if she was emanating anything, it was reluctant humility.

"Ummm… Hello?" I carefully allowed. What was it this time?

"Just heard from Yui about what happened to you guys," Miura tried her damnedest not to look at me, "and… sorry, okay? Didn't want it like that."

With that she quickly withdrew to her seat, not even waiting for my reply.

Oh. I've been apologized to. By Miura no less. On second thought, I didn't mind this parallel world at all. Let's just hope this world's Yuki was still my Yuki. "My Yuki"… More than enough make me smile to myself and indulge in gentle thoughts.

Four more classes passed by while I tried to digest this weird Monday and at least try to concentrate on my lessons at the same time. Fortunately, after they ended, my confused soul was soothed by a sight I thought I'd say goodbye forever to. Yuigahama, bubbly and merry as per norm, approached me:

"Yahallo, Hikki! Going to the club today?"

"Yo. Right, going. Let me gather my stuff."

"Okay! Waiting for you!"

When I was putting all my textbooks and notes into the backpack I caught myself smiling. Our next precious three hours in a club, with Yuki smiling subtly and Yuigahama humming something to herself while typing away on the phone were the most precious to me.

Yukinoshita was now Yuki, Miura had been slowly mellowing out, Totsuka was dating a different girl from whom he wanted… People kept changing, things kept happening. An overly self-important part of me wondered if it was because I've contacted them or because of something boring, such as me simply observing them more closely now.

Ultimately, though, all I needed to know good things did happen.

* * *

Ever since I've started dating Yuki, aside from all the good and jolly happenstances in my life that were, was that one drawback.

Specifically, I started having a recurring nightmare.

That's right, a bad dream where everything happens according to a fixed script over and over.

In that dream, I would enter my class in the morning as usual and see everyone look at me in bewilderment, anger and contempt. They would all synchronously grab their phones and show them to me, with every single one of them having the same picture of me and Yuki kissing. Their voices would sound all at once in my head. "How did _he_ get her?". "Hikifroggy-kun got a girlfriend". "He's probably coerced her"…

While not exactly enough to wake up in cold sweat with a beating heart, it did make me lie in bed for extra five minutes convincing myself it was all a dream goddammit.

After all, we took precautions and kept quiet. The world clearly have other things to do besides exposing us, right?

Apparently not.

Sometimes I've encountered a phrase about "your nightmare realized". That morning I've seen it with my own eyes.

I didn't even make two steps to my seat when the usual chatter almost instantly died down and everyone's eyes turned to me. I made two steps more, just to dispel this feeling of being on stage before whimsical audience, but the stares followed.

Everyone had the same expression of wonder. As if I've just grown a pair of elk horns or turned into a classic little green alien.

 _They knew._

Or not, I tried to reason with myself. We took precautions. Yuigahama was an airhead and all but she wouldn't betray us. Sensei was a reasonable adult who sympathized and helped us. Maybe someone just told them yet another embarrassing story from my childhood and the whole class suddenly took an interest in my person. That totally could happen, right? In that case everything was easy: just wait until it all died down. I could live with that.

Just as I was taking my seat I heard a female voice whispering:

"Like, _really_? He's dating Yukinoshita? No way!"

"Sshh, keep your voice down!"

"I don't care! He probably blackmailed her or something. I wanna know!"

All I could do was just turn my head at them and stare. I wasn't sure what was on my face at that moment but they collectively hiccupped and looked away.

I then turned to everyone else in the classroom, reading them, trying to assess the situation. Those who weren't busy whispering to each other had the same expression of bewilderment from before.

Finally I located Yuigahama. At least hers was different: she looked worried and somewhat guilty. Upon meeting my eyes she hastily stood up and approached me.

"H-hi, Hikki. I'm s-sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I… it's just, I've received this photo in the morning. Seems like some others had too and shared it with everyone else… You know how it goes… Chain mail… S-sorry…"

She flipped her phone open, fumbled with it a bit and turned its screen to me.

It showed a photo, and what a beautiful photo it was. Against the Tokyo Bay, in the golden light of the setting sun, were me and Yuki. She was kissing my palm, gently holding it with both hers, looking into my eyes with the most tender expression. I was softly caressing her cheek and looking back at her, showing a kind and happy smile, the one I never thought I was even capable of.

The end of our Saturday's date, which we started earlier than usual and finished just before 6 in the evening.

All I could think at the moment was the idiotic stereotypical reactions of all the anime protagonists where they would grab their heads and send a skyward shout of shame. And that I didn't feel like doing it. And that instead I felt nausea slowly climbing up my intestines, a reaction of repulsiveness over the fact someone laid their crude dirty hands on _our private moment_ , our _private life_.

"I kinda can guess how it feels, Hikki… Sorry again."

"Stop it. You didn't send it. I trust you on that."

"I… just… I feel for you."

"Thanks," I managed a smile. She knowingly smiled back, bowed to me returned to her seat, still looking guilty.

To me, Yuki was many things. Smart, naive, capable, clumsy, sarcastic, kindhearted; a rival, a friend, a girlfriend. To them, Yukino Yukinoshita was the school's untouchable beauty who basically wasn't allowed to date someone like Hachiman Hikigaya. The voluntary prison guards around me would never let that go, not without consequences, they wouldn't.

Not a minute later Hayama and Miura decided to show up and immediately their stares were laid on me.

Miura's face displayed the funniest mix of disbelief and dumbfounded shock, so much so I practically envisioned a speech bubble with an "ah" in hiragana over her head. Some part of me that still could reflect on things noted with dark amusement that the sight was almost worth all the trouble. "In your dreams", hah. How do you like _them_ apples? I told that part to keep quiet for a minute.

Hayama's expression meanwhile was entirely unreadable. His face was stony, the kind which people make when trying their damnedest to remain impassive and neutral because formalities say so but internally being ready to burst. A face that meant I was in for a long and painful conversation some time later.

The cat was out of the bag. I had to take some time to let that sink and at least try to prepare for the consequences, for they would come. Eventual disclosure to everyone involved, most importantly to Haruno-san and Yuki's mother-

Yuki!

All the thoughts in my head were replaced with a big shiny "IDIOT". Her class will know too. Within several minutes tops, most probably already. Nevermind stares from her classmates; we both were used to those. The news would reach her family very soon and Yuki would come to that conclusion instantly. She was a smart girl. Having only recently started gathering the key pieces of her family relationships puzzle, I realized I needed to be by her side. Right at that very moment.

Run, my brain urged me. Run like the wind. Run faster than Melos.

Run.

* * *

Serious as that thought was, I didn't make it very far. Just when I exited the classroom, almost shoving someone aside, I heard quick footsteps and suddenly was grabbed by the collar. After being promptly turned sideways I was shoved into the wall. Finally, as firm hands grabbed my shirt, a face came into view. A very angry face of the school's Prince Hayato Hayama.

A pang of fear made my heart skip a beat. Recently everyone was trying to be way too violent with me. Not to mention this particular Hayato Hayama definitely had an ever-growing grudge against me. That, the fact he was taller and stronger, plus that other fact that I wasn't a fighter at all, didn't quite help.

Add to that I've been seeing him angry one time too many recently.

This was getting out of hand…

… or maybe it didn't. I knew this conversation would happen, though probably not in a violent fashion. The general topic of course would be Yuki. Yuki was one of just two things in this part of the Universe that would make him lose his cool and nice demeanor; the other was his decisions and following expectations.

I could say with confidence I had a certain knack at making his mask crack. If you think I took pride in it, I didn't; it meant I had to sometimes walk on eggshells around him because there was literally no incentive for me irk Hayato Hayama, only trouble. For that matter, the same was true for basically every person I had communicated with ever. No incentive at all.

Up until recently.

Because I had asked Yukino Yukinoshita out and she agreed.

And if there were any reason to openly confront Hayato Hayama, it was her.

Also what's with this shirt grab? Hope Ebina-san wouldn't see us like that.

That thought was the last straw: the fear gave up and disappeared. Now it was less intimidating and more of a goofy romantic comedy.

"Uhh… Hi Hayama." I started, evenly, calmly, in measured words. "Would you mind letting me go? You're giving nearby fujoshis ideas-"

"What's your goddamn problem?!" His eyes could burn through concrete. Fortunately no, actually they couldn't.

Now that I thought about it, I may as well keep practicing that peculiar habit of saying what I thought. I've felt a taste of it all the way back at the school festival, that joyfully intoxicating feeling of getting the better of people by just talking. Not to mention, stronger as he was, Hayato Hayama couldn't scare me anymore. Yes, threaten, maybe even beat up, but not scare.

"Currently it's you apparently threatening me and I don't know why, "I replied, keeping up that level intonation. "By the way. Why?"

If it was even possible, Hayama's face twisted in anger even more.

"You know where you can shove you sarcasm?"

Good as it felt, talking people down also could have a nasty side effect of them trying to punch me. Which Hayama really was ready to, and while I wasn't afraid of him, being hit wasn't pleasant either. I had to tone it down.

"Sorry for that," I sighed and looked away, trying to look guilty. "I honestly don't know."

Suddenly all the anger seemingly left him, as if someone deflated a balloon. Hayama finally released me and lowered his face.

"You've ruined it."

"Ruined what?"

"All of it."

"What's 'it'?" You sure took your time, Hayama.

He abruptly looked at me, his face still full of anger. For a second I thought he'd grabbed me again, but instead Hayama just sighed and smiled a weird smile, as if he didn't know whether to be crazy or sad.

"All you had to do was simply to stay friends with her," he uttered shaking his head. "Stay like you were. Not worsen it, not make it harder for everyone. But nooo, you just had to start dating. You had to, didn't you?"

"What is wrong with that?"

Hayama chuckled to himself and looked at me again; his face now was full of smug superiority.

"Guess what? We're going to be married after university."

Oh. Finally. Someone said it. Strangely, that really was all the reaction I could elicit at that moment.

"Yeah, thought as much. She dropped a hint about it." I calmly replied. "Pardon me while I vomit."

His face lost all smugness almost instantly. Bingo.

"I heard someone punched you in the face last week. Did you like it? Because you're asking for it."

That made me feel fear again. For a whole second.

"Sorry-" I reflectively said, then briefly smirked at an opportunity: "-wait. If you punch me I'll get a concussion for sure. And definitely vomit."

Hayama stared at me for a second, then laughed.

"You know what, you're good. I give you that. It almost felt like we'd be good friends for a second." He looked away, his mouth twitching as if he didn't know what expression to wear. Finally he turned back, now looking genuinely sad. "You know, Hikigaya, all this time I tried to befriend Yukino-chan again. To at least mend what I've screwed up. We'd be in this together, if you catch my drift. It's not like I want us to throw knives at each other for the rest of our marriage. I could try to at least be a good friend to her, get to know her better while in the university, but no. You happened. And I lost."

 _"I'd be fine with losing to an equal,"_ his words from way back resurfaced in my head.

"You did it in less than a year of just being in that stupid club with her. All in all I'd be fine with being somehow worse than you. It's really humiliating, to feel worse than you. But I'd swallow it. But then-"

He looked in my eyes with almost maniacal glint.

"-then you just went and confessed to Yukino-chan. I'd really like to believe you forced her or something, I really would. But nuh-uh. Yukino-chan surely accepted it. Right? _Right_?"

I kept quiet.

"What do you call her anyway?" The glint in his eyes was replaced by fatigue. "Don't tell me it's Yukino-chan too. I'd take offense to that."

"So would she." I replied after a pause. "That's why we settled on something else."

He sharply sucked some air through his teeth.

"Yeah, go on, gloat at me, why don't you," He exhaled, crossed his arms and looked at me grimly. "The news will reach both our families tonight tops. I can guess it's going to be hard for her. But you know what? You're really good at bringing the best in me. So how about I'll make it faster and just phone them myself?"

That was one of the possibilities I've expected. Given my knowledge of Hayama and his history with Yuki, this possibility was rather high on the list in fact. Because a sum total of his stares full of envy and jealousy, the hints he's started dropping since Autumn, his facade slowly showing cracks were practically a set of red blaring lights.

Being able to predict people's behavior was such a great ability of mine. No, of course not. In fact it plain sucked.

On the other hand, preventing Hayama from doing it would only delay the inevitable. All I could do was make peace with the outcome and follow Hiratsuka-sensei's advice: take care of ourselves.

"Feel free to," I said, having fully regained my inner calm again. "Hope it's not what you did back then that she still has trouble talking about."

An angry twitch of his eye told me everything I needed to know: that did it. I got under his skin. He was petty? Sure, so was I. Now the last knife twist if you don't mind.

"I have to go. Got a girlfriend to console."

I didn't need to turn back to see the look on his face. I just knew I did well.

* * *

Even as I was running I kept noticing _stares_.

Male students, female students, all the same; even the two teachers I've passed by didn't even try to scold me for running, opting instead to look at me like I was some sort of a mythical creature.

People have been saying "bad news travels fast" throughout all of human history. Imagine how fun and convenient it all became when social networks were invented.

Everyone had suddenly rediscovered my existence, it seemed; somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered it they would add it up to what rumors they had after Cultural Festival. I had to remind myself that was counterproductive and not fun at all.

2-J's reception was basically in the same fashion as my own class: stares and whispers. It really drew the point home about humans being generally identical everywhere. Rich? Dignified? Didn't matter: juicy rumors were juicy rumors.

I stood at the entrance and tried to find Yuki whist ignoring the looks. Oh, there she was: already surrounded by overly curious female classmates and desperately trying her best not to look uneasy. I waved at her. She didn't notice, currently making a great effort to fend off one particularly nosy girl who leaned in so much Yuki had to take a step back.

I probably should tell someone to call her and politely wait here.

Then I realized what I just thought and felt a wave of anger, exasperation and giddy mirth. "Politely". "Wait". "Tell someone to call".

Sighing to myself, I firmly walked to the group surrounding Yuki, then pushed my hand past the crowd.

"Yuki…noshita!"

Startled, she turned to me. Then she noticed my hand and without any hesitation got a hold of it. All that was left for me was to just gently pull her out of the crowd. Come to me, Yorda.

The surrounding girls suddenly felt silent, only to then emit a collective gasp of… adoration?

Well, if you think about it, our situation was basically a melodrama played in real life right before their eyes; this made the whole situation even better as they were now more than mere observers. Was it all a romantic stage play for them? It certainly was.

At least it was not disbelief and contempt.

Nevermind. Yuki was with me. Now away from here.

"That was a rather bold gesture back then," Yuki showed me a slightly shy smile when we stopped in the corridor. "I should thank you for your timely intervention."

"No prob…" I sighed. "… I guess."

Yuki took my hand in hers.

"So, what brings you here, my knightly sir?" She tilted her head and managed a teasing expression. "Were you worried about me so much?"

Despite everything I felt my lips turning up into a smile.

"Yeah. And missed your theatrics too."

Yuki smiled again, this time genuinely and sincerely.

"Thank you." She nodded and looked away, looking gradually more sad. After a pause she quietly added: "They'll know… My family."

"Yeah." I reluctantly replied, gently bringing her forehead to mine. "Hayama caught me in the corridor. Literally, by the collar. Had a nice chat."

That made Yuki shudder.

"So you k-know…" She stammered. "Hachi, forgive me for not telling you straight… please… Despite what he may have told you it isn't exactly set in stone. In fact, his parents aren't that eager either. They are perfectly aware there's plenty of ways to keep working relationship without… _that_ … and I do plan to refuse. It's… it's just…"

"It's alright," I started stroking her palms with my free hand. "I get it. I get it."

"Right…" Yuki gently squeezed my hand she was still holding, her body slightly shivering as if she had a fever. She swallowed and continued: "I'll probably be summoned today for that."

"…Oh."

"I've been anticipating it, in fact. You probably can guess how Mother is."

"I can. But… she's gotta at least listen, right?"

"She has to," Yuki's voice became firmer, now with an edge of righteous anger in it. "It's not middle ages anymore. There's no practical _need_ for that. I'll stay in the family business, sure, I'll help and contribute to my father. Just in my own way. I can pick any specialty, enter any college, with few exceptions. I can make my own path and still be helpful. She has to listen… She has to."

"Yeah." I affirmed. "She has to. Maybe I can convince her too. I mean… She plain pretends I don't exist all the time, but… I have to try, right?"

"Unfortunately no assurance for that," She smiled sadly. "That's how Mother is."

I mutely nodded, caressing her hands. There was some time till the bell rang. I won't come into contact with her for quite some time, so I had to cherish this mo-

Wait.

"Yuki? How about we… exchange our numbers?"

She looked at in mild surprise.

"Oh. No point in hiding anymore. Of course. I forgot about it entirely. Though…" Yuki looked into the classroom. "It's in my bag and…"

"Got it. Let's go together then?"

Yuki just nodded with a smile.

Everyone's eyes were glued on us all the time we quickly but carefully entered the classroom and made a beeline for her seat (the last in the middle row, huh); they still were on us as Yuki quickly fetched her phone and we practically fled the room, both eliciting a synchronous relieved sigh as we exited.

Like on a stage indeed.

"So, hhikigaya dot docomo dot ne dot jp…" Yuki typed on her phone's screen keyboard as she was reading the address from mine. "Good thing messaging with Yuigahama-san taught me how to type faster."

"Oi. Is it my fault I don't know how they do that address exchange by touching the phones thingie?"

"Technically…" Her mouth formed into the cutest mischievous smile. "It is. It definitely is in your phone's manual and that means you didn't read it."

"Ugh…"

"Do read it. I suspect it will be a fun and fruitful experience, on par with classic literature."

"Egh. Alright…" I flinched. "So… we can message each other now."

"Indeed we can." She pondered. "Unbelievable… Oh. That reminds me. You've seen that photo, correct?"

"Ugh, yeah." A pang of nausea briefly resurfaced again.

"Have you noticed anything strange about it?"

"… No. Sorry. Was too disgusted."

"Oh." Yuki stroke my hair gently. "I understand… But still. It wasn't a phone photo."

"Huh?"

"The picture is very sharp, the angle of view is small, and judging by relatively non-distorted background it's a tele lens. Not to mention the background itself is blurred. That means rather wide aperture phones aren't capable of, at least as of now."

"…Now I know what Yuigahama feels when she listens to us."

"Goodness, Hachi…" Yuki laughed covering her mouth with her phone. "Seriously, though. It's a rather expensive camera. At least more expensive than your normal student would carry around just to spy on their classmates. Bottom line, though: I have a suspicion. I get it that Sister regularly meets up with you, is that correct?"

"Yeah… Mind you, I'm not glad about that at all."

"I know. Poor Hachi." Yuki stroke my hair once again. "So, when she meets with you next time, mention to her 'Canon 1 DS 70-200 f4 L.'"

"Erm… Canon One Dee Es Seventy Two Hundred Ef Four El." I repeated. "…Will it unlock her true demon form?"

Haruno-san Tensei: Digital Devil Saga. That sounded promising.

"I wonder if you're worse than Yuigahama-san then," Yuki put a hand on her forehead before returning it to my palm.

All I could do was just sigh.

And hug her.

"Wh-" Yuki made a startled gasp. "People are watching!"

"Let them," I firmly countered. "They already know more than we both would ever want, yet they don't know neither me nor you. And you need it."

"Oh." Yuki paused, then hugged me back, laying her head on my shoulder. "Thank you so much. We could be a world away, Hachi… Thank you. No matter what happens, I'll do my best. You have my word."

* * *

 _"Nyan."_

This eloquent meaningful message signified a great achievement. Specifically, it marked a start of my and Yuki's message history. I hereby wrote it down in history as a dedicated country-wide holiday.

The aforementioned message was sent by, surprisingly, me, when I was returning to my classroom. After raking my brain cells for some time this really was the best I could come up with. As I returned the phone back into my blazer pocket, I habitually took a look at the class.

Hayama was at his seat; he sent exactly one grim glare in my general direction before resolving to ignoring me entirely. Miura, Yuigahama and the rest of his clique were gathered around him, discussing something in hushed voices. Yuigahama looked at me with an unspoken question and, seeing me nod, nodded back with a smile and returned to the conversation; I could easily guess she had already contacted Yuki, maybe even would visit her on the next break. Several people regarded me with varying looks, as if still trying to comprehend the facts. The only exception was Totsuka: he flashed a bright smile and showed me a thumbs-up. That alone was enough to instantly make me feel better.

A buzz interrupted my thoughts. Fetching my phone again I looked at a notification.

 _From: Yuki_

 _"(-ω-) (^ФωФ^)∫ purr?"_

It took me a few very long moments to fully comprehend what I just saw. Rechecking the message again and again only confirmed the initial observation.

I had just received a string of emoticons.

From Yuki.

Events of this day had finally took their toll on my worn down psyche: the only reaction I could manage in response to that was to double down and very quietly laugh.

 _"You're texting Yuigahama way too much."_

 _Bzz_

 _"Indeed I am. (^ω^)∫"_

Fighting another wave of laughter I typed a response.

 _"This is silly."_

 _Bzz_

 _"Indeed it is (^ω^)∫. Purr."_

 _"That's a new side of you. I think I like it-"_

At this point the bell rang, signaling the start of the next class.

 _"-and classes are starting. Take care."_

And send.

 _Bzz_

 _"Pay attention to those. Take care."_

 _Bzz_

 _"And thank you."_

There we had it. Our first messaging session. Experiencing immense joy while Yuki's family judgement awaited felt somewhat… _weird_. But we, both after knowing each other in general and these three weeks especially, have learned to take what we could get.

Even when Yuki did receive a message notification, at the very next break in fact, from her mother stating she was to be picked up after school and meet her immediately afterwards, Yuigahama did come to her to console and soothe. That, and several choice messages from me.

Now we waited.

* * *

A familiar black car awaited near the school gate; not directly in front so as not to gather too much attention but not too far away. An elderly driver had just emerged, waiting for Yuki to approach the car. I recognized him: it was this driver that hit me by accident all that time back, and it also was him who visited me in the hospital to profusely apologize. He did that on his own accord, as the family lawyer had already come before that with formal apologies, among the rest of other formal things.

We noticed each other and bowed briefly before going around the car to open the door for Yuki. I bowed back.

Yuki turned to us:

"So… I guess this is goodbye for today. Thanks for seeing me off, Yuigahama-san, Ha- Hikigaya-kun."

"No worries, Yukinon."

"You sure I can't go with you?"

"My sincerest apologies," the driver interjected politely (Tsuzuki-san was his name… right, Tsuzuki-san), "but my standing orders were to bring young lady alone. Once again, my apologies."

"No, uhhh… I get it," I scratched my head and smiled guiltily, to which Tsuzuki-san nodded with a sad understanding smile of his own. I turned to Yuki: "Careful there."

She paused hesitantly.

"I…" Yuki looked at Tsuzuki-san.

"Plenty of time yet, my lady," He smiled back.

"Thank you."

Yuki turned back and abruptly hugged Yuigahama.

"W-whoa!" was all she could say on the matter.

"Sorry for startling you, Yuigahama-san. I believe I never thanked you properly for… everything. I honestly don't know what I'd become without you."

"Eh, it's alright. You're kinda scaring me though…"

"I… didn't mean to," Yuki replied, gently breaking the embrace. "To tell you the truth, though… I am scared. I never had confronted Mother like this before, so…"

"Oh…" Yuigahama paused, clearly not knowing what to say. "Don't worry, Yukinon. I'm on your side. Hikki too, you know. It's gonna be alright!"

"Your perpetual optimism, Yuigahama-san… yes, that's what I like about you. Now, if you don't mind…"

With that she approached me and also gave an embrace, more slow and tender, habitually yet very desperately leaning her body into mine and laying her head on my shoulder. Just like when we consoled each other while dealing with Yuigahama.

"I'll use your invitation to hug you whenever, if you don't mind," She gently murmured into my shoulder.

"Sure. Anytime." I replied slowly stroking her hair. "Whatever happens, I'll be there for you."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"It's alright. Though you do sound like you're going away forever."

"I'm not. I have all the intention to fight."

"Best of luck."

"I'll need all of it." Yuki smiled and carefully dislodged herself from me. Taking a step back, she bowed to us and seated herself inside the car. Tsuzuki-san bowed to us too and settled himself at the driver's seat.

We silently watched the car pull off and disappear behind a turn.

"Hope she'll be alright…" Yuigahama murmured.

"You tell me," I sighed. "Waiting is the worst."

"What you're gonna do?"

"Dunno. Probably return home and wait for her reply. It's not like waiting by the gate of her family mansion would help… I don't even know where it is."

"Yep." Yuigahama nodded with a faint smile.

"Ummm… Sorry for earlier. She-"

"Oh, geez, it's okay, it's okay," she frantically waved her hands, "Yukinon needed it. You don't have to be all hush-hush around me, really."

"Yeah… Glad to hear that. So… I guess this is goodbye for today. I'll ping you if something happens."

"Got it… Bye then!" Yuigahama waved and slowly walked to the bus stop.

I was left alone at the school exit. A small number of students passed through the gate, apparently not bothered by that pesky "club activities" thing. Some still tried to stare. I noted with dark amusement I had to get used to being noticed now, and a snickering devil on my shoulder added that it was probably going be the least of my problems. I couldn't even disagree.

"Hikigaya-kuuun! I'm heere, don't ignore me!"

Case in point: Haruno-san.

That same Haruno-san who conveniently happened to be nearby whenever something crucial happened to me and Yuki. The same Haruno-san who would then appear and say uncomfortable things with that smile of hers, playful, twisted and just a tiny bit sad. The same Haruno-san who would push the events whenever she felt we weren't going anywhere.

In other words, Haruno-san was inevitable.

Throughout this year I, little by little, had learned to accept her presence, even predict to some degree. Haruno-san, an earthquake, thunder, fire, and a father; that's how classic threats roster now looked for me.

They surely didn't like to delay things, those Yukinoshitas.

And that meant yet another long soul-draining conversation. It was practically a marathon of them today.

But not before I resisted, even just a bit. After all, I was a teenager full of hormones and youth rebellion, was I not?

"Hikigaya-kuun, you don't make a lady wait- hey, where are you going? Waaaait~!"

Judging by the direction I took the obvious answer was our school's bike parking. You're disappointing me, Haruno-san.

"Oh, I get it! If you pretend I don't exist, maybe I'll go away, right?" Haruno-san immediately deduced and adjusted accordingly. "Sorry to disappoint, I won't~!"

That was to be expected. Not that I'd stop even for a second. Not to mention juuust twenty meters or so to my bike-

"Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!"

The nerve she had to pull that off!..

I couldn't help but stop and stare into nowhere in particular. Nevermind she was loud enough to probably get the whole school's attention, but combine it with a reference so fitting it was repulsive…

Making a prolonged drawn out sigh, I finally turned to her.

"Oh finally! Good day to you too Hikigaya-kun! I still love you very much even if you're an impolite brat sometimes!"

I curtly nodded.

"Let me at least get my bike."

"Mmm… ah, that's where you were going! How silly of me! Go on then."

"Thanks," I uttered before turning my attention to the bike chain.

After I pulled my bike away and walked out of the parking, Haruno-san smiled and moved to my side, matching her pace to mine. I kept walking.

"Mmmm… Wait, are you going to keep quiet forever? It's not polite."

I looked at her, making effort to raise my brow as expressively as I could. She in turn made a hushed sigh.

"Passive-aggressive Hikigaya-kun. Ahh, so cute!~ Does it mean you're not in the mood for talking?"

I simply turned my head and faced forward again. This was actually fun. Not to mention, unlike my short-tempered classmates, Haruno-san was way more resilient, not to mention way more adept at the whole skillful conversation maneuvering business.

Didn't mean I had to go along with it. Sure, she'd still make me lose my cool and feel like I was turned inside out and scrutinized; but why not make it a bit more inconvenient for her?

"Not that I don't feel sympathy for you," Haruno-san resumed while slightly tilting her head to me. "Being uncovered like that before the whole school, having to handle all the jealous suitors Yukino-chan had, even if their number diminished the more they actually talked to her… hard to deal with, Hikigaya-kun, isn't it?"

I kept walking.

"Well, frankly I imagine it'd be just Hayama-kun. Poor boy. What a piece of work he is… " She sighed in sympathy, with genuine sincerity.

"You know, much as Yukino-chan has mastered that cold noble girl persona, she's still sooo easy to read. Oh, if only you saw that godly smile she had when making you coffee… how was it by the way?"

Still no reply for me.

"Though I give you that: you've hidden it so perfectly. If not for the fact Yukino-chan was so happy, there'd have been no way for me to deduce. You're even able to communicate without your phones; that's godlike these days."

"So you did search her phone," I finally said.

"Oooh, a reaction! Score!"

I flinched.

"So you did."

"Ohohoh, evil ol' me. Seriously though, how did you organize the communication? While we're on the subject, when did you make your first date? How do you call each other? Big sis Haruno is _starving_ for the details~!"

She was so audacious it was almost endearing.

"You do realize you're the last person I'd consider telling?" I replied, trying to keep my voice even. Only now had I realized I was very subtly shaking with fear.

"Whyy? That's mean!"

I sighed trying to calm myself down.

"You know, she started sharing the details." I said after a pause. "She's very secretive usually. Never eager to tell anything about herself. It's only now that she began telling me. And very reluctantly, mind you."

"Oh, but isn't it a good thing? That's what lovers do. Trust each other. Don't they?"

"True," I slowly nodded. "It's just… I've also started to form an opinion on you."

"That's _thrilling_!" Haruno-san's eyes were sparkling now as she turned to me with baited breath. "Hikigaya-kun's always so reserved, so _neutral_ it's irritatingly boring. So what do you think of me now?"

"You as in all of you. Your whole family."

"Even better! So?"

I held another long pause.

"Guess."

Her gleeful expression immediately changed to an exaggerated pout.

"Meanie! Yukino-chan's blowing things out of proportion!"

One more pause, one more sigh.

"Canon 1DS 70-200 f4 L." I really wanted to imagine myself saying a magical code phrase to unveil the demon's true form. At least that would look heroic.

Haruno-san feigned a perfectly stunned expression.

"Your black magic won't work on me, Hikigaya-kun! Stop with this nonsense immediately!"

I turned away from her and concentrated on walking.

Finally I heard Haruno-san chuckle.

"Mommy never loved her much and daddy never keeps in touch… Some of the friends of the family have even declared Yukino-chan doesn't have a single loving bone in her body. Imagine that."

"Not sure what you're quoting though," I decided to reply. "How about this one then: 'People are never able to understand each other. Never completely, never enough'."

"Oh, I know that! It's from Evangelion! Point for me, right? Right?"

That only made me shrug.

"I suspect… no one frankly bothered."

"Bothered with what?"

"To understand her."

"Tall claim here. Some did bother." Haruno-san pointed to herself and frowned. "So you say you do?"

"I won't say that," I shook my head, "that'd be preposterous."

"Good then." Haruno-san showed me a wide smile. "Actually, I sort of like how you're afraid of me so much and see me as a villain. Makes me feel important."

"That's not something anyone should be proud of…"

"Don't worry! I still love Yukino-chan and wish her only the best!"

"If you say so."

"You're so prickly today!" Another pout, then she glanced at her wristwatch. "Oh my, look at the time. Much as it was delightful talking to you I have to go now. Thank you for your time Hikigaya-kun! Bye-bye!"

All I could force myself to do was to curtly nod goodbye and hop on my bicycle. As I started pedaling I never even bothered to look back.

That was it. I had a significant conversation with Haruno-san.

Call me superstitious, but I couldn't shake off the feeling things were to go downhill, fast.

* * *

I was supposed to be home an hour ago.

Why was I then somewhere at Chiba-Minato still pedaling like a hamster inside a wheel?

If I were to reflect a bit, which I did anyway some time ago, I'd come to an obvious conclusion I was restless, nervous, anxious and generally didn't know how to handle… all of this, basically. No matter how much I tried to have fun during this week, I couldn't shake off the dread that had been residing in the corner of my mind this whole time. To be honest, cycling was practically the best thing I could offer to myself to somewhat calm my nerves.

Never before had I to wait so listlessly.

More than an hour passed since my meeting with Haruno-san. I had sent two messages and one call to Yuki. The call was met with "the party you are calling is offline or out of range". The messages fell into the abyss of the global digital network, never to be seen again.

This was the worst.

Did they take Yuki's phone away?

Did they take _Yuki herself_ away?..

No, no, no, don't be ridiculous. She hasn't yet done anything to deserve isolation like that.

Or maybe she did. What did I know about rich families? Only what one shy introverted girl's family theoretically looked like, judging by communicating with her and her older sister of dubious disposition, plus also having observed her ice cold mother two times. Yeah, didn't even communicate to the latter. Wait, that all was pretty telling her family _was_ screwed up.

Well then… what would I do?

If I thought about it, the only option I had was basically go to their mansion's gate and wait there. While having forgotten about it before, I could fetch Yukinoshitas' home address from their company, or city-wide address book, or police, or somewhere else like that… For that matter, would police be able to do anything if I told them one of Chiba's richest families kept their own daughter under detention?

I know, I know. They'd shoo me away even if it was commoner family. Or maybe not. There must be some sort of a law prohibiting mistreatment of family members. Maybe I'd even sue my parents for leaving me to my own devices and… fine, fine, that last bit was stupid. The moment the judge saw Komachi I'd lose the case.

I also could catch Tsuzuki-san and… and hope he'd understand. Sure seemed like a sympathizer earlier today, so why not.

Yay. A whopping total of two options.

…I really shouldn't be left to my own devices at times like this, should I? Being a famed monster of logic apparently had its share of drawbacks.

I probably need to have a cup of strong black coffee and calm dow-

 _Bzz_

My phone's notification buzz almost made me jump right there on my bike, which probably would lead to me falling. After steadying my trembling hands I turned to the sidewalk, leaned my bike on a public phone booth and, two unsuccessful attempts later, finally fished my phone out of the pocket.

 _"Hachi-kun, I never loved you. This whole ordeal was a mistake. Stop contacting me at once."_

The phone fell out of my shaking hand.

My legs gave in next and I unceremoniously slumped on my ass.

For some time I simply stared on the road. How no one bothered approaching me was a miracle.

Finally I shakily found the phone and stood up.

She dumped me.

Via email.

There was no indications whatsoever she'd do this, but she did. I always thought she was a reasonable person, but apparently I was wrong.

I was just a temporary plaything to her to pass the time after all. All this year Yuki- why did still call her Yuki-

-Wait.

Trying to calm my heart which was ready to burst from my chest, I unlocked the phone and looked at the offending message.

"Hachi-kun".

"Never loved".

Much as I was ready to die from horror and grief a mere second before, now instead I immediately felt a bout of hysteric laughter slowly finding its way to my throat. God I was a gullible insecure idiot.

Neither me nor Yuki ever said "Love".

Yuki never called me "Hachi-kun".

For I was her Hachi and she was my Yuki.

"Hachi-kun" meant… right, "Hachi" was how I probably was listed in her contacts. Seemed like her family honestly thought my full name was "Hachi".

Well, of course, I realized giving into the giggle fit. Her mother _never even bothered to talk to me_ , nevermind learn my name. Yuigahama's, yes. Not mine.

How petty, ignorant and condescending all at the same time can a person be?

" _It's not good to snoop into others' phones. Please return it to the owner._ "

And send.

Then the hysterically elated euphoria disappeared and the realization hit me.

Giving Haruno-san silent treatment was one thing; this was plain tugging a hungry Siberian tiger by the tail. On the other hand, that zoo somewhere in Russia did have a goat and a tiger living together in peace. I knew that because Yuigahama once shared a mild BL fan art of them as a conversation topic; presented to her by, you guessed it, Ebina-san. Damn fujoshis.

Well, anyway, I was telling it to myself simply to try to make peace with the fact I was sarcastic to the Yukinoshita matriarch. Which left me wondering if she was actually petty enough to send her goons after me… But, well, the Yukinoshitas were supposedly just ordinary construction tycoons. So they probably had no goons to speak of… But her father also was in the politics which meant connection to yakuza…

Now fighting off a wave of panic that came in euphoria's stead, I hopped on my bike again and headed for city's north, to Yuki's apartment complex. Because I frankly didn't know where else to go at this point and my nerves decided more exercise wouldn't hurt

Darkened skies meant it was already past six. I flicked the bike's flashlight on and kept pushing the pedals. Good, keep it up. If you stop you'd have to think again. And if you started to think, you'd come to the same conclusion, over and over again.

That this was all going to hell and you didn't know what to do.

At some point I found myself simply standing among private houses in a neighborhood I'd never even seen before, trying to catch my breath, staring at the nearest phone line pole as if it was the most important object in the universe. At first I wondered how I would get out of here, but then I heard a train passing not that far away and mentally slapped myself on the head. Don't complicate matters, Hachiman. It's as simple as go to the general direction of the sound till you stumble upon the tracks, then pedal along till the nearest station. The rest was easy.

Just as I was ready to hop on the bike my phone buzzed again. I caught myself thinking I very much didn't want to read the incoming message. My very developed imagination immediately produced vivid pictures of me holding a phone with a single message along the lines of "your days are numbered, young man. You don't talk back to a Yukinoshita".

Making a conscious effort to shake those images away I looked at the message. No name, just a number I didn't recognize. That meant it wasn't in my phone book and lalala your days are numbered-

Stop.

Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the phone and tapped on the message.

 _"Hachi, it's Yuki from Tsuzuki-san's phone. Please come to my apartment. Please"_

 _Please_.

Orienting on train tracks and the subsequent road to Yuki's condo didn't even register in my head; to me it was like here I stood in the middle of nowhere and then here I looked at the pin pad by the entrance of her expensive condo. What was it… oh, 1507.

Yuki opened the apartment door and…

…stared, not even at me, still panting because I couldn't wait for the elevator, but somewhere through me.

That look made me forget all my stupid worries at once, leaving me with an unsettling emptiness in my head.

"Oh. Hachi. Good thing you came… I believe." Even her smile was uncanny.

I immediately went in and closed the door.

"My sincerest apologies for calling you like that." Her tone, while indicating she was glad to see me, was otherwise flat, quiet and almost monotone. "My phone was taken away from me, so I had to beg Tsuzuki-san for his."

Beg?..

"It's alright, it's alright." Feeling I should do it right now, I gently hugged Yuki; she stayed very doll-like, not even reacting to it.

"It's alright," I said again, "I'm here. Whatever happened is over-"

"I'm disowned."

…What?

"She didn't even let me say a single word," Yuki continued in that horrible flat voice. "She said I'm an ungrateful little hormonal teenager who allowed herself to be wooed by some man I barely know. She said that wasn't what she expected from me and that she's disappointed. That I negated all the sacrifices she made for me, that there are so many obligations I don't even know about. That someone in my situation shouldn't even dare open their mouth and only listen and agree. She said she would lock me up and home school me because I left her no other options. When I finally refused she said she didn't want to see a piece of mud like me anymore and that I was to be evicted within twenty four hours from that very moment. I'm sorry, Hachi. Please forgive me. I failed. I failed. Forgive me. I failed."

Feeling all the blood drain from my hands and face, I raised my hand to stroke her head, just like I always did to soothe her. Yuki didn't even try to lean into my palm as she normally did; instead she sharply sniffled, and again, and again.

And then she _wailed_.

To me, Yuki was many things. A frail girl who honestly tried to be strong but neither couldn't nor didn't know how to. An honest girl who tried to live by her admittedly strict set of standards hiding her desire to be appreciated. A kind and shy girl who wanted to be brave, went against a force of nature and was blown away like a candle in a rainstorm.

 _"As for me, I'm just a substitute."_

To _them_ , I realized, she wasn't even fully human. Just a spare part to be used or thrown away when it turned out she wasn't fit to perform adequately.

That was it. That was the final push for me to make an opinion on the Yukinoshitas.

I hate them, for there's literally not a single redeeming thing about that whole family. A mother who readily broke her own daughter out of pettiness. A father who couldn't even find time for her. An older sister who only twisted and tore her psyche, bit by tiny bit.

If someone asked me about the Yukinoshita family, all I'd reply with would be "I hate them".

But that would be later. Right now, as I was holding my girlfriend, reduced to a crying hyperventilating mess choking on her tears and trying to beg forgiveness for her very existence, I felt uncomfortably numb. A single thought weakly pulsated in my head: when I was asking her for a date I never ever imagined it would turn out like this. This was way out of my league. Way above my punching weight. Out of any meaningful proportions. Like trying to punch the Ancient One with my bare fist.

Now what?..


	7. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5. And Locked it, One Last Time**

Mind is a strange thing.

Us humans like its clear state, yet very rarely experience it; too much influence, both from inside and out. Much as we like to think we're in a clear state of mind most of our lives, the doctors actually provide a whole bulletin point list of items that muddle it: first years of our childhood when there's no mind or consciousness to speak of, hunger, anger, being drunk, sadness, stress, infatuation…

Not much left afterwards, isn't it?

That's why it took about forty minutes for the shock to finally subside and my mind to regain its clarity again, and only then a thought emerged; one very clear, very obvious thought that simply waited its turn.

What should a teenager do if a situation beyond their control arises?

Well, it was obvious.

Call the adults.

Specifically, that one adult who I still trusted. Not that I didn't trust my parents but dumping it all on them was more trouble than it was worth.

Now, after guiding Yuki to the nearest sofa, all lifeless, broken down and clinging to me for dear life, I sat down, gently rested her head on my shoulder and let her wrap her arms around me; then I used my free hand to dial a number on my phone.

 _"'Ello?"_ Hiratsuka-sensei's voice seemed rather tired.

"Good evening, Sensei. It's Hikigaya."

 _"Hey there. Driving right now, so be brief."_

"Ummm… Not sure I can… Can you stop for a bit?"

 _"Uhhh… I don't like where it's going. A'ight, gimme a minute."_

I heard her car slowly stop, then rhythmic clicking sounds; she turned on emergency turning lights… I think that's what they're called.

 _"I'm listening."_

I made a trembling sigh.

"I don't know if you heard already, but someone sent everyone a photo of me and Yukinoshita."

 _"Oh geez. Actually no, I didn't. Was in Chiba municipality on principal's behalf the whole day. So you're busted. Well, kinda complicated but- eghh, of course. Yukinoshita's family… Fine. Don't think I'd like the answer, but, erm, how did it go?"_

I gulped.

"Yukinoshita's disowned. Should be evicted by tomorrow or something like that." After a moment of hesitation I added: "I'm sorry. I'm really out of options."

Long pause ensued.

 _"Oh,_ fffffuck my life _."_ I heard shuffling, then several frantic clicks of her lighter, then a long inhale with a cracking of rapidly burning tobacco. _"Alright, alright… Whew. When I graduated from the college that's not quite how I imagined… You sure are the bright spot of my career… Awesome. Don't mind me. It's not your fault. Really isn't. Where are you?"_

"In her apartment."

 _"Be there in twenty. Don't go anywhere!"_

After nodding to no one in particular I put the phone back into my blazer pocket.

"Was it Hiratsuka-sensei?" Weak raspy monotone made me turn my head; there Yuki was looking at me, her eyes still puffy and red and hair a messy mop.

"Yep." I carefully stroked her hair, to which she just dropped her head on my shoulder once more.

"Oh."

Silence fell again.

I resumed stroking motions while finally taking a look around, being too concerned about my distraught girlfriend to notice anything else before. The interior looked the same as the last time I've visited, yet the general feel drastically changed. Gone was the almost zen-like clean minimalism; it was pure chaos in comparison. A new lavender aroma was in the air, not exactly strong but annoyingly persistent. Many new items now cluttered previously empty shelves and stands: vials of perfume; a luxurious-looking small clutch bag; aroma candles(why so many?); a dirty dishon the glass table; two bottles of wine scattered nearby; articles of clothing…

My eyes stopped on something purple and lacy, seemingly carelessly tossed on the other sofa. Its design reminded a one-piece swimsuit with pronounced bra cups; judging by their size it clearly was Haruno-san's. For a second I tried to ruffle my memory regarding how it was properly called, then for some reason skipped to remembering Yuki's lime bra when I accidentally walked on her and Yuigahama changing. Then I decided it all really could wait.

All in all Yuki wasn't exaggerating the state of her living quarters back then: for all her undeniable talents Haruno-san was a horrible slob. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much it irked always pedantically prim Yuki. Nevermind that, I now fully understood how she felt when returning to her apartment and realizing it wasn't hers anymore. All that made me give her another gentle yet firm hug.

"What?.."

"Just thought how much trouble it is living with your sister."

"Ah." No more reaction. That made my heart sink again.

"I beg your pardon for the state of the apartment," Yuki half-whispered in that haunting raspy voice. "I couldn't bring myself to clean it before you arrived."

God.

"You don't have to. It's not like it's your fault, is it?"

Yuki just nodded again.

Some time later I heard a chime. What's… oh, it's Sensei. Just as I tried to dislodge myself from Yuki she clutched my hand and looked at me with an expression most helpless and begging.

"Yuki… It's the door. It's Sensei."

It took her a second to comprehend before she nodded; she then stood up and took my hand in hers.

"Together?"

"… Please."

Hand in hand we approached the door terminal. Yuki pushed the respond button.

"Who is it?"

"Oh, Yukinoshita? It's me." Sensei's voice was reassuring.

"Come in," Yuki opened the gate.

Some painfully slow minutes later the door was opened and Hiratsuka-sensei went in, immediately hugging Yuki. She tensed in turn, but then gradually relaxed.

"Thanks for coming," I uttered.

"Ehh…" Hiratsuka-sensei sighed. "I really would want to say 'no biggie', but… yeah."

"Sorry."

"Don't bother. Kinda my fault too, I encouraged you and all." Sensei and took a look around and flinched. "Mother of… Haruno's got some talent."

"My apologies," Yuki weakly muttered.

"It's not your fault. Why are you apologizing?"

 _SorryhachiforgivemeforgivemeIshouldn'thavedonethatfogriveme!_

"…She's been like that for a while." I interjected.

Sensei swore under her breath.

"Let's go sit then. Yukinoshita, can I borrow your kitchen? I think something warm wouldn't hurt."

"I don't mind." Yuki nodded.

Sensei proceeded to the kitchen, quickly locating the grinder and coffee bags in the cupboards. Some time later she returned with a French press pot and three cups. After putting it on the table Hiratsuka-sensei went back with the dirty dish and wine bottles ("Oh for f… Haruno, you're living with a _minor_!"), then joined us. I took the opportunity to pour the coffee for everyone and hand one of the cups to Yuki; she accepted it with slightly trembling hands and took a gulp.

"Bitter… But warm." For the first time this evening I saw a small smile adorning her face; that made me actually sigh in relief.

"Aaalrighty then," Sensei heavily sat down and took her cup. "Some good news and some… hard news. Dunno if really bad, but hard for sure. The good news is you're most probably not disowned for real."

"How can you be so certain?" Yuki asked looking at in mild wonder.

"Kicking your own daughter out like that is a huge reputation blow nowadays. Times have changed a lot since when it was an accepted practice, you know. Good face more important than honor and all that. Not to mention that's entirely in line with her manner of upbringing you girls."

"What do you mean by that?" I wondered, genuinely curious.

"You're forgetting Haruno used to be my student too. And that meant I got a load of her mommy way before you even enrolled." Sensei's eyes became dull and unfocused for a second, like those of a war veteran. "As if dealing with Haruno herself wasn't enough…"

She took a gulp seemingly trying to shake off the traumatic memories.

"Damn this one's tasty. I kinda didn't check the label…"

"Ethiopian Mocha."

"Oh wow. Sorry for just taking it like that."

"It's alright. This one's Sister's." Yuki actually managed a flinch. She's further thawing, I noted. Good.

"Well then, back to the topic. The good Kei Yukinoshita _looved_ to punish Haruno by grounding her or taking away her allowance. Speaking of that she also loved to talk her down whenever she needed but Haruno's grown a thick skin too fast for mom's comfort, so yeah. Once, when Haruno was late at the party, Yukinoshita-san simply forbade her from coming home for three days straight. Like, if you love it outside so much you might as well stay there until you remember what's right for you. Though, Haruno being Haruno, she just stayed at her friends'. Dunno if she was this much of a slob-"Sensei raised her brows. "oh wait, she was. Never lived more than one night at anyone's place. Wonder how they stayed friends afterwards."

"Huh. I can imagine."

"Naah, you can't." Hiratsuka-sensei waved her free hand at me dismissively and took another gulp. "And don't even get me started on PTA assemblies because guess what? She's the chairperson there."

Ouch.

"By any chance does she ignore you entirely?"

"When she sees fit. Sooo, you too?" When I nodded, Sensei mock-saluted me. "Welcome to the club. If she's ignoring you you're probably a nice lad. Though I know that already. Anyway. Be ready for her to come about a week later to check if you've learned your lesson. Thousand yen on that."

"Not sure if want to bet."

"Kidding. I'm not having bets with my own students. Though that reminds me of the hard news. The kicking out of your apartment part is most probably real. Vengeful bitch for sure, your mommy, the PTA participants have learned that. That means you have to live somewhere for the time being."

"I understand," Yuki finally responded.

"Alright then. Do you have any relatives nearby?"

"I don't," Yuki shook her head. "The closest is father's aunt somewhere in Gunma and I haven't even seen her for several years."

"Nah, that's out. You still have to attend school because arranging anything else would involve your mother again. Hmmm… what about your father by the way? He seems like a decent man."

"He's…" Yuki paused. "He's overseas right now, on a business trip. My apologies, I don't remember his contact by heart and it's in my phone…"

"… That's taken away," I finished. Sensei just groaned and facepalmed.

"Maybe Haruno-san knows." I suggested. "It's not like I want to contact her all that much though…"

Sighing, I took out my phone and dialed her contact. Long dial tones followed for a minute until the call ended.

"Not picking up."

"Let me try then," Sensei replied. A minute later she shook her head: "Not to me either."

She massaged her eyes and downed the rest of her coffee.

"In the meantime, what other options do we have?"

"… I think if I beg my mom hard enough she can live at my place," I slowly suggested.

"No." Yuki suddenly interjected.

"Why? I can lend you my room and sleep on the sofa-"

"No. No more begging." Yuki sat upright; while still raspy, her voice now had familiar angry determination. "Sensei…"

"Yeah?"

"Realistically speaking… worst case scenario… what is the minimum I have to earn to support myself?"

That caught Hiratsuka-sensei off guard.

"Huh… Well, you kinda do live alone anyway…" She shifted her weight and scratched her chin. "Let's see. Worst case scenario means we're including school tution fee. It's submitted at the start of enrollment, so it's probably paid already. Wonder if your mom's petty enough to recall it… But let's say she is. Last time I checked it's 628000 yen for class J's third year. Not sure if you have that much money on you, but I think organizing monthly payments shouldn't be too hard. At least I'm certain that doesn't involve the PTA, thank god."

She counted one finger.

"Next up is apartment rent and utility bills. I'd say aim for under 100000 yen total, there are some nice offers but not really close to school… buuuut I think I know the right guy to call."

Another folded finger.

"That leaves food, transportation and everything else. 50000 is a bare minimum, 100000 is more comfortable. That gives us, ummm…"

"212800 to 262800 yen a month," Yuki finished.

"Yeah, thanks. Hourly wages around here are roughly 1000 yen for part-timers, let's take that as a reference. That makes 215 to 260 hours a month, or at least 52 hours a week of work on top of attending school… Kinda tough…"

"I'll manage," Yuki firmly said. "I have to."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that…" Sensei scratched her head. "Fifty hours a week is more than adults do normally, you know. And you also have school and preparing for the university."

"I'll find a better job then."

"Can you? It's not like…"

I realized I had tuned myself out of the conversation bit by bit; my head was occupied with semi-related but very private thoughts.

There were two forces fighting inside me. One was to hide away because the decision I was making would mean many horrors I'd rather not encounter again. Normally it always had been winning flawlessly and that was how things went in my life.

But now there was that other force. A very inconvenient one, for it demanded me to throw my life principles out of the window and, basically, raise my arse to do something for real. And that was "I care for Yuki too much to leave her alone". And "Yuki is always struggling by herself and I don't want her to". And "I don't want her to suffer".

To be completely honest, I realized, it wasn't so much a battle of two forces as just me trying to fight my own inner five year old's temper tantrum.

"I'll move in too. And take part-timing." I suddenly heard myself saying. "Then it's, what, 25 hours or three hours a day for each of us?"

Silence followed. I felt two pairs of eyes staring at me.

"Hachi…" Yuki flinched. "As much as I appreciate your help I don't want to depend on anyone anymore. I don't want to cry helplessly anymore. I don't need pity-"

"It's not pity!" I replied angrily. Then I caught myself and lowered my voice: "Sorry. Yuki. Please listen."

After a pause she nodded.

"I fully understand you. That was your request. To stand on your own two feet. I know you think I pity you. But…" Clenching and unclenching my fist, I continued: "You also requested me to help you someday. Don't you remember?"

"I…" Yuki's eyes widened. "…I did."

"So I will. Because I want to and don't make me repeat myself."

Yuki bit her lip and finally showed me a confident smile.

"… Yes. Thank you, Hachi."

"As much as I would like to point out a boy and a girl living together is not a good idea…" Sensei interjected. "I won't. It really is the least of your concerns. Though I'm obliged to remind you about protection."

"What protection?" I dumbly asked before it finally dawned on me and my face lit up. A brief glance at Yuki confirmed the same was true for her.

Sensei noticed our state and decided to add:

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Bear with me please… Back to other topics. I can't stay the night with you _but_ I'll return first thing in the morning with the moving guys. Decide what you take with you in the meantime."

"Not much, in fact," Yuki replied. "Basically nothing here is mine."

"Sounds about right… Still sad though." Sensei scratched her head. "This all is… childhood's end, basically. Wish it wasn't so rough for you…"

"Thank you. For your help."

In response Sensei just shrugged, then grabbed her phone and selected someone's contact.

"Pick up, pick up- Hey Sato? Nope, actually not so good. Sorry for calling so late, need an urgent advice…"

* * *

After giving us the rest of the necessary instructions and reassuring again she'd return first thing in the morning Hiratsuka-sensei had left. We now were alone in a messy, _alienated_ apartment; I couldn't help but sense the almost palpable silence and discomfort.

The feeling of urgency and anxiety kept prodding me to do something; giving into it, I tried to remember what that would be, yet nothing came up; after some time I finally realized there really was nothing left to do, just stay the night by Yuki's side.

Wasting my time again, that feeling of anxiety. Begone. I now will lean against the sofa, readjust Yuki on my shoulder and make you get out of my mind.

A sudden ringing from my blazer pocket startled us both; Yuki almost jumped in surprise.

"M-my phone," I hastily clarified.

"Oh… Of course."

"I think I'll pick it up."

"A-alright…"

One look at the screen confirmed my suspicion: Yuigahama.

Well obviously. By this time she had probably tried to call Yuki several times and most definitely had a text rebuttal from her mother. Now I could clearly imagine her panicking and calling me to share the news.

"It's Yuigahama," I sighed. "Probably also received some nasty text from your mother."

"… Also?"

"Uhhhh… She wrote you never loved me and stuff."

That actually made Yuki massage the bridge of her nose.

"I don't even… And pick it up already."

"Right."

 _"Hikki?! Hikki, Yukinon's not picking up and sending weird stuff like-"_

"Evening to you too Yuigahama," I replied, making my tone be as measured and level as possible. "No, she didn't actually send all that to you. Her mother took away her phone and chased her away. She's with me right now."

 _"…Eh? How did you know?"_ To the right of me Yuki actually put a finger to her forehead and briefly giggled.

"I can read minds. Have you forgotten?"

"Meanie!.. Can I talk to Yukinon?"

"Alright, switching." I spent a second trying to remember where I had put my handkerchief to wipe the phone; after remembering where it was I fetched it and started rubbing the microphone grill only for Yuki to actually _cringe_ and grab it from me.

"Yuigahama-san? Good evening… Yes, I am alright… No, I wouldn't say such things. Please have some faith in me… Oh. No worries. I understand… In my apartment. Hikigaya-kun's with me- no, no, no need to. Not today… No, nothing like that- Yuigahama-san, I am just deeply ashamed of what Sister had turned my apartment into!.. It's that bad. Yes, he's…" She glanced at me. "He's by my side. My apologies for… Oh. I'm honestly glad to hear that. Can we… Can we speak at school? I promise I'll tell everything. I will be fine, Yuigahama-san, please don't torture yourself over me- I… It's… No… No, you are still my friend. I will, I promise… Thank you… Good night… Right… Right… Good night."

After returning the phone to me Yuki quietly exhaled, looking mildly frustrated.

"Yuigahama-san is a wonderful person, really."

"… Just noisy?"

"… Yes." Yuki reluctantly nodded. "If you ever try wiping your phone for me again I will be offended."

"Uhhh… sure."

"And… wait a minute." She looked at the phone again, then at me; her look was most disapproving and suspicious imaginable. "What is this star-heart-star-note-Yui-note-heart-star?.."

"What is?.." Then it hit me. "Hey! That's how she noted her contact down in my phone herself! All the way back! Why do I even have to justify myself- are you jealous again?"

"… That I am." Yuki half-heartedly huffed. "What of it?"

"Alright, alright… see, fixed."

"That would be most desirable."

I tugged her cowlick gently; she gave me a small nudge into my palm.

"Now that I think about it, I gotta call home and tell them I won't return tonight… never done that before… Huh."

"Go on then."

I dialed another contact.

 _"Hi-hi, what's up Bro? You're kinda late tonight. Staying late with Yukino-san?"_ I could practically see her brows wiggle suggestively; that smarmy tone didn't help either.

"Yeah. Why?"

Pause followed.

 _"Heeeeeh."_

"You're a 'Heeeh' yourself. It's really serious. I'll tell you later. For now can you just inform the folks I'm staying the night elsewhere?"

 _"Huh. You're not even flustered… That's serious business."_ She sounded genuinely surprised, to the point of being dumbfounded. _"Something bad?"_

"Not bad, just…" I struggled to find the right word for a moment. "…tough. Gotta stay with her for the time being."

 _"Whoa… Bro, you're kinda amazing. It's like you met just the right girl and changed entirely… I don't mind though."_

"If you put it that way."

 _"Alright, I'll leave it to you. Hang in there, Big Bro. Nighto!"_

"Thanks. Nighto."

Putting the phone back into pocket, I noticed Yuki's stare. It wasn't exactly sad, just… longing.

"Have I told you I envy you two?"

"Well… Yeah, you actually did. Remember Saize?"

"Indeed."

With that she carefully hugged my arm and leaned into it once more.

* * *

Lean back, check.

Yuki being as comfortable as possible at the moment, check.

My grumbling stomach… what?

"Was that yours?" Yuki asked, mildly surprised.

"Y-yeah…" I admitted reluctantly. "You weren't supposed to hear that… Uh, sorry."

"Are you hungry?"

"…Probably?" The reluctancy was still there and I fully meant it. "No… It's… really no big deal. I maybe should go drink a glass of water or two, if that's alright."

Yuki dislodged herself from me and sat upright.

"I'll prepare dinner."

"Are you sure?"

"It's the least I can do…" After a pause she added: "… to repay you."

"That again," I flinched. "You don't owe me-"

"But I do." She gave me a sternly determined look. "I do. Not to mention it's rather late and you probably skipped your evening meal."

Just as I opened my mouth Yuki interrupted me:

"It really is nothing in particular for me, Hachi. I'm not that bad at the moment."

Yuki was being stubborn again. Just like old times. One thing that kept tingling in mind though…

"For two of us. I somehow feel I should clarify that."

"It's alright," she gently shook her head, "I'm not hungry."

There she went again.

"You are." I pointed out. "You've skipped dinner too."

"I don't feel like eating," Yuki looked aside.

"You should. I know how that feels. I was actually like that too when preparing for middle school exams. Komachi had to kick me into eating."

"It's not the same."

"It is."

She made a long tired sigh; to be precise, it was also a really articulated long tired sigh, just to show me her exasperation. At least that's how it felt for me.

"Stubborn, are you."

That actually made me roll my eyes; something I've only seen in movies before.

"Look who's talking."

"I-"

Yuki stuttered mid-word, then looked at me and blinked several times. Then she dropped her face into her hands and started shaking. Just as I felt my heart dropping at the thought that I made her cry, her giggling became loud enough for me to hear.

"We both are absolutely worth each other," She uttered after looking at me again, with a knowing smile this time. "Aren't we?"

"Yep. Seems like it," I couldn't help but smile back, feeling some invisible spring inside me unwind and bring me relief of sorts.

"Fine. A dinner for both it is then."

Yuki headed into the kitchen, her back upright and steps light. I followed suit.

Yuki's kitchen, unlike the rest of her apartment, still retained the clean look and feel; seemed like Haruno-san didn't frequent it. By the looks of it the cooking space wasn't all that bigger than our home's: a counter facing the living room with with a sink, a rice cooker and a small 3-burner stove, a fridge with a microwave on top, a cupboard, a railing with ladles and spatulas on hooks, a magnetic strip with knives. Not that I was a kitchen expert or anything, but the placement looked neat and, knowing Yuki, was probably well-organized.

"I plan to make some sort of a pasta dish," Yuki interrupted my observations. "Do you mind?"

"You mean like in Saize? Nah, I don't."

"Most probably nothing fancy either. I don't think I have the right ingredients for that. One moment, let me check the fridge…"

Driven by curiosity, I decided to also have a peek over Yuki's head. The inside was half-empty and, aside from a battery of sauce bottles and couple of juice jugs, contained identical labeled containers. Kinda like mom and Komachi did it, just with more idiosyncrasy.

As I was marvelling at yet another testament of Yuki's meticulousness, she quickly assessed the contents and closed the door with a somewhat miffed expression.

"Unfortunately no macaroni and cheese," Yuki informed me, somewhat guiltily. "I forgot to replenish my stock of Gruyere cheese and seems like Sister's finished the milk. No Bolognese either…"

She touched her nose, pondering.

"Umm… would pesto or carbonara be alright with you?"

"Sure."

"Which one then?"

"Err… Carbonara?"

"Carbonara it is…" Yuki nodded and opened another cupboard, then reached for the tin can, but immediately put it back with a frown. This was followed by her quickly checking two other cans with the same effect.

"…not. What happened to pasta?.." Yuki gasped. "Probably out of stock too. That or Sister does secretly cook when I'm not around…"

"You think she can cook?"

"Anything I can do she can do better," Yuki shrugged with a mildly bitter face. "Or so I'm told."

"Not really."

"Thank you for your concern, but it is objectively-"

"You're way more caring, you know."

That left Yuki open-mouthed for the whole four seconds.

"You certainly know your way with words," she shook her head; I noticed a slight blush on her cheeks. A moment later Yuki resumed checking the cupboard: "Surely there should be at least some rice… Oh. Here it is. Arborio, perfect. Would you mind if it'd be risotto instead?"

"Fine by me. Anything you cook is fine by me."

"Y-you're overdoing it." She now was blushing even more fiercely. Shaking her head as if trying to dispel it, Yuki reached for another tin and set it at the table, along with a bottle of olive oil.

"Risotto, risotto…" She opened the fridge again. More containers appeared on the table: shrimp, herbs, cheese, canned peas, garlic. Yuki also took a smaller container from the freezer. "Frozen broth," she explained while closing the door and fetching an apron and a kerchief in one swift motion. All I could do was just stand back, not get in the way and watch Yuki be in her element.

After that she took out a pan and a large pot, set the pan on the stovetop and put the pot into the sink to fill it with water. After half-filling it Yuki headed for the stove only to bang the pot into the fridge door and almost drop it, spilling some water.

Gasping, Yuki took several deep breaths, smiled guiltily at me, put the pot back into the sink and crouched down at the cupboard. There she took a mop and started cleaning up the spilled water. Just as she was standing up, Yuki banged her shoulder into the cupboard door handle and winced in pain, dropping the mop and nursing her shoulder.

"Yuki?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She gave me yet another guilty smile. "My apologies. I'll be fine."

Somehow I didn't believe that.

Yuki took several deep breaths, moved back to the sink and turned the water on. Another attempt at lifting the pot ended up in her hand slipping. Yuki tried to make several deep breaths again; they turned out shallow and fast instead.

A definition straight out of a textbook suddenly emerged in my head: panic attack.

"H-hachi, please pardon me I'm not like that it doesn't happen I-"

I abruptly hugged her, trying my best to soothe.

"Sorry… Sorry…" Though her breath steadied, her voice indicated she was about to cry again. "I'm… useless again…"

The hug won't cut it this time. That much was obvious to me now. I had to do… _something_.

Go to the combini for a bento? Quickly fix something myself? Give up on the idea?

No, I realized with an uncharacteristic clarity. All of this would only serve to send Yuki into a downward spiral of self-loathing. Just like the one she had been in recently. Something else… Oh.

"Yuki?"

"… What is it?"

"… How about I cook by your directions?"

That made her look at me.

"You mean…"

"Yeah. You give directions, I follow." I shrugged. "Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

She kept looking at me for some time, then hesitantly nodded.

"Then… please take this apron."

"Alright."

Yuki untied her apron and handed it to me. I clumsily put it on, trying to figure out how to tie it.

"Reminds me of Yuigahama-san." Yuki suddenly laughed. "Hold still."

She reached out for the knot, untied it and tied back again.

"Like this."

I nodded; Yuki squeezed my hand a bit.

"Well then…" She took a deep breath and put a finger on her chin. "Start with putting the pot in the stove top and turning on the fire."

"Mhm." I did as instructed, then paused trying to figure out which knob it was.

"Rightmost. Turn it all the way right and push." I did as instructed; the stove emitted a hiss, then several clicks, and finally blue gas flame appeared.

"Good. Now adjust the flame so it all would be beneath the pot."

"Done."

"Good." Yuki massaged her temples, seemingly collecting her thoughts. "Now put the broth container inside. We'll have to wait for it to thaw, this should take no more than ten minutes."

"Got it." I returned to Yuki. "Now we wait."

"Wrong," she smiled, a bit mischievously. "Now we use the meantime more rationally. Start with chopping the garlic. Half a head should be fine. Use a chef's knife. Do you-"

"I do." I pointed at a rather hefty knife in question. "This one."

"Correct." Yuki nodded. "You are apparently better than I thought… marginally. The cutting board is over there on the railing."

"Oi." I half-heartedly countered, took the knife, settled the cutting board on the counter and pried off several cloves from the garlic head. Yuki put it back into the fridge.

"Good. Now crush them with the knife, clean and mince. Can you do that?"

"Mhm."

Remembering how Komachi did it, I crushed the cloves with the knife's flat side, peeled off the skin and paused, trying to remember how to mince it properly.

"You don't know the knife techniques, don't you?" Yuki noticed my hesitation. "Just finely cut it then."

"Alright. Sorry."

"I'll make a cook out of you someday at this rate," Yuki sighed showing me a content smile.

"If you say so." Unable to find any more words, I just concentrated on chopping.

"Good. Now put out all the other ingredients into the saucers… one moment." Yuki put several plates on the table. "They won't need cooking, but it's handy when they're laid out before being added."

"Mhm."

After I did so, all we could do was wait till the broth warmed up. I used that time to return to Yuki, who scooted up to me. Together we waited, her head on my arm, watching the pot, feeling no particular need to talk.

"I think it's time," Yuki finally said. "Turn the gas on under the pan and pour some oil."

"On it."

"Alright. Now add the garlic, wait till it's fragrant and pour the rice… this much." She took a measuring cup and filled it.

"Okay. Like this?"

"Better than Yuigahama-san, I guess," Yuki nodded approvingly.

The rest of cooking was rather repetitive: scoop some broth, pour into rice, wait till it was absorbed, repeat till we were out of broth. As a final step I've added the rest of the ingredients, let it simmer for a minute, turned off the gas and mixed in the cheese.

"One final step," Yuki noted. "Mince the parsley."

"Okay." I started cutting the leaves.

"Not quite like this…" Yuki approached me. "I think it's time to teach you knife rocking now. So, you have cut the leaves. Now arrange them into a pile… Yes, like this."

She now was basically hugging me from the back.

"Now put your hands on the handle and the blade closer to the tip… like this," her hands gently guided mine. "Now just make the rocking motions."

"O-okay."

Left, right, left, right… oh. Easier than I thought.

"Don't leave out the pieces. Precision, then speed, not the other way around."

"Like this?"

"Yes," she put her hands off mine, then suddenly hugged me firmly.

"Yuki?"

"Please don't mind me," Yuki gently laid her head on my back.

"You sound happier now."

"Probably…" She peeked from the side. "Looks good. Now it's done. Divide it between the plates and garnish with parsley. I think I can do the latter now… And Hachi?"

"Hm?"

"I don't mind living with you. At all."

"… Huh."

* * *

"Let's eat," I said the ritual phrase.

"Let's eat," Yuki repeated and took a fork. Just as she was about to taste the food she noticed my stare.

"You are staring… are you by any chance apprehensive?" Yuki giggled again. "Don't worry, it takes a special sort of talent to ruin something like this."

"… oh." I forced myself not to fix my stare at her and finally dug in. The risotto indeed was very tasty, creamy, with the scent from the aged cheese, garlic undertones and parsley freshness.

"It's good, Hachi," Yuki said. "Almost perfect for a first-timer."

"Almost?"

"Maybe save for the coarsely chopped garlic."

"Sorry."

"It's _alright_ , Hachi. You really did well. Thank you."

"Eh… you're welcome," I managed, feeling my cheeks burning. Since when did I become a typical shoujo heroine?..

"By the way…" I decided to switch topic. "Is it me or are you kinda inclined to the Western food?"

"I probably am," She replied after chewing up and taking a sip of her juice. "My Western dishes are self-taught."

"From that time in America?"

"Correct. Call it acquired taste. My family only acknowledges Japanese cuisine. For me, though… Macaroni and cheese is my go-to comfort food… Is that weird?"

"Mmmm… no." I shrugged. "No more than your other quirks, anyway."

"Quirks?.." She tilted her head.

"Too many to count."

"Oh. So quirks…"

"Hey. I never said it's bad thing."

"… Ah."

"Yeah, well… Been meaning to ask. Are you against Japanese food?"

"I… don't think so?"

"Oh, good then."

We finished our dinner in silence.

* * *

"The detergent bottle is to the right."

"… eh?" I paused. "Oh. Of course. Gotta wash my own dish?"

"Please do."

Sighing, I took a sponge and the bottle she pointed at, squeezed some of the detergent and started soaping up my plate.

"I'd like you to also rinse the pot. I'll wash the pan afterwards."

"… Okay."

Uncomfortable silence fell.

"M-my apologies, I probably shouldn't-"

"No, it's fine."

Now that I thought about it… it only seemed fair. I said myself I would live with her; no one forced me to offer that. And that meant doing the chores. And living up to Yuki's strict householding standards. She was in no state to properly watch the house and… for the first time in my life… I felt _ashamed_ for wanting to slack off of those.

"Gotta warn though…" I slowly uttered. "I'm kind of a slob."

"So I noticed, not to worry."

"Seriously though, compared to you everyone's a slob."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"… Probably both?"

"Oh." Yuki squinted. Then a teasing smile slowly appeared on her face; the one I missed so much.

"Nya!" She pointed at the dish in my hands, still unwashed.

"What?"

"Nyaa!" She actually put her hands on her hips and looked at me with a stern expression.

"Alright… I brought it upon myself, didn't I."

"Nyan."

I washed the dish, making sure it actually squeaked when I put a finger to it.

"That good?"

"Nya." She nodded in approval, then went to the sink to wash her plate. Afterwards she took the pan, filled it with hot water, carefully set it aside (steady hands now) and pointed to the pot.

"Nya."

Smiling to myself, I took it, worked my sponge thought its surface and rinsed.

"Good?"

"Nya!" She practically _beamed_ now.

"Need help with the pan?"

"Not really," she spoke normally. "Not that much space by the sink. Would you mind helping me put it back though?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

* * *

The utensils were on their places, the stove sprayed with the detergent, the counter wiped clean. The kitchen was back to its initial state.

"Yes, it has to be like that after every cooking session," Yuki noticed the look on my face and decided to add insult to injury.

"Sure, sure… Nice to see you back to the norm."

"Is that sarcasm?" She tilted her head to me, lips slightly curling upwards.

"You know me long enough to determine it on your own, don't you."

"True." She lifted her hands and stretched. "It's getting late. I suggest we take a bath and sleep."

"Yeah. Tomorrow's… moving?"

"Correct." Yuki nodded. "Though as I said, I won't be taking much. Let me also remind you you'll have to move your necessities too."

"Sure. Don't wanna think about it now, really."

"I understand." Yuki suddenly made a complicated face. "For now I need to use… b… bathroom."

"Oka- Ahhhh…" My mind went blank for a second. Oh, right. Even in her expensive condo the soundproofing was probably so-so. What to do, what to do-

"One moment, gotta grab my earplugs."

"Thank you." Yuki frantically bowed. "S-sorry."

Compared to that, entering the bathtub Yuki had previously used wasn't that much of a shock in comparison. Frankly, I tiredly mused letting the hot water relax my muscles, I was basically too overwhelmed by everything to care at this point.

That extended to the rest of the evening; I saw Yuki in a cute long blue nightgown shyly laying her futon beside mine in the living room, explaining with a stutter she was afraid to sleep alone after all. I discreetly undressed under the blanket. As we lay down she curled up and slowly took my hand; we both drifted to sleep, no anxiety, no excitement, just an engulfing feeling of fatigue and the need to rest.

The only thought that briefly flashed in my head before sleep took over was: where the hell had Haruno-san been all this time?..

* * *

"As I thought… it is you after all."

A woman turned her eyes to us and stood up from her seiza position, in one refined elegant motion showing years of training. Her long well-cared hair were styled into a classic _marumage_ , straight from old paintings; they were adorned with small chrysanthemum pins, beautiful yet disturbingly unsettling when looked up close. Lithe crimson cranes on her ash-gray kimono kept moving, rearranging themselves into intricate patterns with the woman's every move. A wrapped fan in her right hand, onyx black with bright red highlights at the edges, had a small droplet on the tip. Her eyes, golden-yellow eyes of a Shadow, were following us closely, yet showed no malice or threat.

There she stood before us, a picture of rich elegance, in a middle of a big spacious room with wooden beams, bamboo paper walls and hay mats. Her name was Kei Yukinoshita and she was the mistress of her Palace.

"You have come too, Yukino," she addressed Yuki beside me. "I appreciate that, for it spares me the pesky trouble of finding you myself. All's left for me is to properly punish you for thinking you can act on your own volition. Would you be so kind as to come here, put that vulgarly unfitting clothes off and gladly receive my whipping?"

Before, this would make Yuki panic and despair. Not anymore: Yukino Yukinoshita was skilled, smart and fearless, a deadshot with her compound bow, and a drop-dead stunner in her archery jacket and pants, thigh boots and gauntlets. The only part unnecessary in her fashion choice were cat ears popping out of her freely flowing hair, easily betraying her mood and constantly tempting everyone in the team to scratch behind them. That even included Alan Milne: time to time the famous writer's Persona deliberately materialized behind Yuki and scratched those enticingly moving ears, calling her Tigger and receiving his righteous punishment whenever she caught up.

… I swear, I never showed her Fate's Atalante design. Honest.

And this Yuki found it appropriate to just shrug, tilt her head and reply:

"Do make an effort. Come and take it."

Kei Yukinoshita's eyes flashed.

"Why are you making it harder for yourself? Don't you know better than to anger someone you're in the rightful possession of?"

"Sorry, Yukinon," Yuigahama said in mild shock, "Your mom's really a jerkass. Sorry for not believing you and Hikki."

"It's alright, Yuigahama-san. Few people do."

"Still…"

Don't let her adventurously short frilly pink dress and lace-trimmed gloves deceive you: even though Yuigahama's morning star club was also pink, it was no less deadly than a morning star of any other color. Blunt, heavy and spiked; is this how Yuigahama wanted to be, I sometimes wondered.

"Eh, well, punching the bitch will be even more satisfying," Hiratsuka-sensei added flexing her hands clad in shotgun gloves and rolling her shoulders nicely accentuated by a black trench coat. I'd recommend _anyone_ to stay away from the Fists of Fury; add to that her M60 machine gun now peacefully slung behind her back and you get a lethal beauty. The only detail undermining the whole "beautiful valkyrie" image was her Persona: Erich Maria Remarque, author of the one book that will make you hate war, any war.

"Why aren't you on the floor yet?" Kei Yukinoshita meanwhile went on, motes of flames appearing around her one by one and face twisting into a menacing horned mask. "You are _forcing_ me to take drastic measures. You are what's rightfully mine, meant to be used to achieve what's rightfully mine! How dare they all be wealthier than me! More influential than me! Thinking they're _better_ than me!"

The more she spoke, the less was left of the coldly elegant woman who met us. Now this creature more and more resembled a fiery demon, cranes turning into intertwined snakes, flowers nauseatingly convulsing and spitting what looked like poison, her fan, while still wrapped, was now spilling real blood.

"Accept my wrath and be joyous about it! I leave you no other choice!"

"Heh. No choice," I sounded more giddy than I probably should given the circumstances. "What do you think of _that_ , monsieur Sartre?"

 _"That you are getting quite cocky, young man,"_ my Persona replied chidingly, _"I agree with the rest, though."_

We all had received supposedly the most fitting Personas, and by some whim of some unknown deity they all turned out to be writers. Either that Phileon fellow was absolutely wrong, or there was more to us than even we ourselves knew.

Wasn't it true for anyone though?

As Kei Yukinoshita's Shadow turned into its true form of hannya honnari, given in to her jealousy and superiority complex, I just calmly checked the bayonet mount on my Arisaka Type 99 rifle; no sheer firepower of Hiratsuka-sensei, no Yuigahama's blunt force, probably no Yuki's finesse, but instead full versatility; just like my working fatigues, hoodie and body armor, making me look some sort of a shaggy guerilla fighter. Well, if some of my enemies preferred form over function… they died disappointed.

"You know the rest, people," I addressed my team. "Engage."

* * *

Well, as far as vivid colorful dreams go, I groggily pondered after opening my eyes, this one sure takes the cake.

This particular awakening felt very different from the norm. The first rays of sunlight were falling from a different side than I was used to. The room was bigger, the futon instead of my bed was lower, and beside me on the adjacent futon was Yuki, still holding my hand in her sleep, curled up under her blanket the same way as the night before.

There were no brave individuals changing peoples' minds by beating their Jungian subconscious selves while looking flashy, no famous writers' Personas to assume and use, no weapons. Just me and a girl who was about to relocate to a new unknown place and live there.

Those happy-go-lucky protagonists had it so _easy_ , dammit.

That was second last thought before I fell asleep again. The last thought was: what's Yuigahama's Persona?..

* * *

The room now was considerably brighter and sparrows were now avidly chirping outside. That plus incessant beeping of my phone's alarm clock indicated it was morning. Reflexively turning it off, I assessed my surroundings.

It was still Yuki's living room, same as the evening before, yet very different and unsettling. After a minute of pondering I realized it wasn't the room's fault; it was me. I very rarely slept outside my cozy bedroom, and that was either when mom and dad visited their parents in Fukuoka or we went out for a trip. So this was that nagging feeling of everything _not_ in the right place, not exactly painful or unbearable, but annoyingly buzzing in the back of my mind like a particularly evil mosquito out for my blood. Or death by exhaustion.

Taking several slow breaths to chase the feeling away, I turned right to be greeted with a bundle neatly wrapped in the blanket on the neighboring futon. The only things sticking out were strands of long black hair loosely tied with a ribbon for the night, and a petite palm lying on top of mine. Quiet measured heaving was heard from inside.

Yuki.

Events of the last day resurfaced in my head. Us being exposed, talking with Hayama, talking with Haruno-san, dealing with the fact that Yuki had to move out into the unknown now… All in one day. That's probably a three months worth of events and I had an impression we both had to catch up to them.

A familiar feeling of dread slowly emerged; it was met with a rather level reception. Either sleeping helped or I was too numb for anything.

The measured heaving nearby meanwhile stopped. For some time there was no movement, then the hand on mine twitched, paused and felt my palm up. After another pause the hand disappeared into the blanket bundle, which then was set slightly ajar to reveal me Yuki, still curled up and eyeing me in a mix of wonder and anxiety.

"Morning," I uttered, my voice still hoarse after waking up.

Yuki blinked, looked around me, frowned, widened her eyes and curled up even more, but then uncurled back.

"Oh… Good morning," Yuki finally responded while adjusting her blanket and tucking herself in again. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah." Weird dreams notwithstanding. "You?"

"Same," Yuki replied, slowly blinking and hiding a yawn behind her palm. That made me yawn too.

"It's contagious."

"It's supposed to be," Yuki hid her palm under the blanket again and showed me a sleepy smile. "According to some theories it helps synchronizing sleep patterns in herds."

"You and I aren't a herd."

"Technically we are." Yuki yawned into her palm again. Definitely deliberately this time.

"Sure," I responded after yawning again, "I got it loud and clear. Let's go back to sleep."

"Unfortunately I have to move out today…" Yuki's expression saddened. I reached out for her cheek and gently caressed it, to which Yuki cupped it with her palm and kissed it.

"I'm better now," Yuki finally said, slipping out of my hand and sitting up on her knees. Gently tossing the blanket aside, she raised her hands and stretched.

A tied mane of long flowing hair, still unruly after sleeping, slid down along her sleepy face and slender neck, gently following the shape of her lithe figure, stopping just shy of her thighs. Her fingers involuntarily curled into paws. Her nightgown, while rather modest, did nothing to hide no curves, drawing attention and mesmerizing.

I realized I was staring; short time later Yuki realized that too. Opening her eyes, she glanced at me, then squinted again and slightly blushed; the stretching, however, went on.

"You… look nice," I finally said.

"My, aren't you flirty early in the morning," coy expression adorned Yuki's face again as she dropped her hands on her knees. "I suggest I'll go wash first so you won't wait while I prepare breakfast later."

"Well… if you're up for it."

* * *

As I finished washing and drying my face with a towel Yuki had provided, the nice smells from the kitchen had finally reached me. Roasted toasts, eggs, bacon… Seemed like Yuki had settled on the classical English breakfast.

The thought proved right. She had just finished setting the plates with toasts, bacon, eggs and simple tomato salad. I reflectively flinched at tomatoes but decided to let it slide; no need to ruin the mood by being picky.

"Breakfast's ready," Yuki, now in comfy long skirt and an oversized blouse, notified turning to me. "Please wait a moment while I bring the teapot."

"Let me grab it."

Yuki opened her mouth to say something, but then simply exhaled.

"Please do. Just so we don't bicker over it again."

The only adequate answer for that was simply to shrug and go to get the teapot. Which I did.

* * *

By the time we heard door com's chime signalling the arrival of Hiratsuka-sensei and the moving crew we were fully ready. The futons were stowed back into their compartments, kitchen had been cleaned, Yuki was fully dressed and three big cardboard boxes awaited at the entrance. A minimally necessary set of clothes, Yuki's text books and stationery, hygiene supplies and a kitchenware set. Nothing more.

Compared to the rest of the furnishing this really was laughably little. Most of Yuki's apparel, decor and novelty items were going to be left behind, which included the eponymous wardrobe full of her dresses. When asked if she would miss them, Yuki simply shrugged.

I had also been invited to her room for the first and, ironically, the last time. The most distinct feeling was a strange mix of awe from being in my girlfriend's room and quiet marvelling at how neatly functional it was; on par with the rest of her apartment, it seemed. Otherwise it was, while definitely a girl's room with pastel palette and nice mixture of aromas not unlike what Komachi's one had, just an ordinary room.

And she was going to leave it all behind. We both were.

The door opened revealing Sensei and two stocky men in the moving company's uniform.

"Morning." Sensei went in and took turns gently grabbing both me and Yuki by our shoulders. "How do you feel?"

"Better, thank you," Yuki nodded back; not exactly perkily, but definitely closer to her normal affect.

"Nothing untoward, I hope?"

I found myself sighing and sending a very expressive look in her direction.

"-is that the only thing on you mind?-"

"-Sensei, what example are you showing to your own students?-"

We both said that at once. All Hiratsuka-sensei could do in response was look sideways with a surprised face.

"Nice. I'm the horny teen now. You know your looks right now were identical, you damn lovebirds? Did you train? Tell me you trained."

Me and Yuki just looked at each other, then at her again.

"That was kinda obvious," I finally replied.

"And old," Yuki decided to add, touched her temples for a second and continued: "I strongly suggest we proceed with moving the boxes."

"Yeah… sure." Sensei turned to the movers. "Go on, I guess."

"Will do," one of them replied and headed to the stack.

"Hachi."

"What?" I turned back to see Yuki looking at me disapprovingly.

"Step away. Don't be a nuisance… at least any more than usual. It's not like you have to be entrusted with moving now."

"Oh here they go again," I heard Sensei mumble. "It's like they're married for three years already."

"At least I have enough stamina to actually carry stuff," I shot back automatically.

"… make it five years," one of the movers grumbled under his breath.

Behind me Yuki sighed and briefly leaned to my back.

"At least I know who I need when I come undone," she gently whispered, to which I turned back and gently stroke her head.

As the last box, the one with the kitchenware, was being carefully carried to the elevator, all three of us exited the now empty apartment. Yuki took out her keys to lock the door, but for some reason paused looking inside. Several seconds later she deeply bowed.

"Thank you for your hard work. Farewell."

And locked it, one last time.

 _A/N: Yay, I'm still alive! Just double workload and a minor procrastination bout and a tiny bit of Spring depression and... uhhhh... nevermind._


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. Break so Many Habits to Learn New Ones**

When riding on the train, during those rare moments when I wasn't dozing off and instead settled on looking at the scenery behind the window to pass the time, I saw them. You know, those shabby-looking two-story condos with rust on the roofs, dirty side windows, walls sometimes half-covered in lush ivy carpets. Those obviously weren't abandoned or condemned, as parked bicycles and umbrellas in the stands were seen outside those.

So during those moments when I was awake enough to actually muse about what I saw in the train window, a thought always crossed my mind: what kind of people were living in a clearly very thin-walled condominium at least twice older than themselves and practically shoved as close the rail track's fence as possible? Would a (probably) cheap rent and closeness to the station justify the constant noise?

To the past me those answers were as academical as they were of no significance.

Now, as I had finished my part of unpacking and was just idly watching Hiratsuka-sensei skillfully make the holes for Yuki's magnetic knife holder with her cordless drill("Just thought this one might be useful, tee-hee... sigh"), I realized I now had all the answers I needed.

It was us who were going to live here: one schoolgirl not quite liked by her family and one schoolboy who, on the contrary, liked the girl quite enough to stay with her and share the hardships.

And yes, cheap rent and the fact that Keisei-Funabashi station was almost literally round the corner did justify the nearby train track. I took some consolation in the fact the owner was considerate enough to lend us the farthest apartment from it.

Finally, yes, it was my bike, among others, now chained to the small stall at the entrance, hauled here by the kind enough movers.

For such a short notice and our situation the apartment was in fact nothing to complain about. A typical 1K: one six tatami room, a small kitchen with an even smaller fridge fitted at the entrance, finally a tiny bathroom barely enough for a shower stall, a toilet and a compact washing machine("dammit kids, you have it all", as Sensei mused while looking around).

Meanwhile Sensei was done with the knife holder while Yuki had finished hanging all the clothes in the small closet snugly crammed at the entrance; all three of us just stood in silence for some time.

That was bad, because that was just the perfect time for my usual uneasy thoughts to resurface. Even Yuki's former upper-class apartment could easily make me anxious, and I had only spent a night there; this minuscule bare room was plain dreadful.

I was going to live here for quite some time.

Sharing it with a girl.

In a new unknown place, with new unknown challenges.

"Share the hardships". No way in hell was I ready for this. What if Yuki doesn't like something in me so much we'd have to separate? What if I don't?.. What if we plain won't make it?..

I still could backpedal. I still could just cancel it all. Just run awa-

Breath in. Breath out.

Better. The dread took couple steps back. How much more of this before I can resist giving into those?

How does one normally... control themselves?.. stay calm?.. no, stay _effective_ at times like this?

"Well, that's it for now," Sensei broke the silence first. "First month is paid for already, I've given the land owner the present- yeah, you're supposed to, just in case- and Yukinohita's stuff is here. Hikigaya, you should get yours from your home too. You know, toiletries, clothes, underwear, don't forget the underwear, don't. The rest is up to you. Just be careful and don't take too much. The whole apartment is probably smaller than your room. Keep that in mind."

"Actually bigger."

"Yeah, still."

"Roger." I paused. "So... to my place?"

"Seems about right." Yuki finally spoke, traces of the same recognizable anxiety on her face. "Shall we?"

After locking the apartment door ("Ah, right, almost forgot: don't forget to pay the owner for the second key.") we exited to the street. Outside was rather bright: seems like the last of the March clouds finally gave way to the April sun. The only sounds were distant humming of the cars, the beeping of the traffic light nearby and an occasional chime of the combini's doors being open. There were barely any people around: it didn't quite register in my head we were in a middle of Thursday.

Being so close to the station also had its merits: we spotted every combini chain, a Matsuya, a Denny's, a McDonald's, a dozen of local eateries, a manga cafe, a mall and basically anything I could think of just while walking to the train station entrance.

"May check Townwork for jobs nearby," Sensei mentioned while watching me gawk. "Just a reminder."

"Oh. Right. Yeah." I replied, internally chiding myself for not thinking about it in the first place. Yuki just nodded.

"I'll ride to Makuhari with you but then I'll have to return to school." Sensei spoke again." Only a half-day leave for me. And yeah, not to be a jerkass, but I suggest you come to school tomorrow too. Or the questions will start. Real sorry, honest."

"We understand," Yuki nodded. "Having you help is probably more than we could ask for, generally."

"Probably," Hiratsuka-sensei briefly laughed, then continued with a serious face: "Take care. Hikigaya, you take care of her."

I wanted to ask so many questions and say so many statements about it all, about us, our future, but almost immediately realized they the answer would probably have no meaning for me right now anyway. Despite all my doubts and dread and heaviness in my chest I gave the only answer I should have:

"Will do."

* * *

As we walked from the station to my house, Yuki's hand in mine, I reiterated The Plan.

The Plan hinged on several important things.

Number one. No parents at home. Sure, Mom and Dad weren't anything at all like Yuki's (a plague on their home), but explaining things would be long and probably very tedious.

Number two. No Komachi at home. It wasn't even three in the afternoon so she should still be at school. That meant no pestering me.

Number three. Our beloved Kamakura actually at home. Well, not that the furface would walk outside anyway, preferring to observe the outside world from the windows or the parents' room balcony. So the noble sacrifice into Yuki's welcoming hands was thus inevitable. Sorry, earmuff. It's for the greater good. Trust me.

And that lead to The Plan. Seat Yuki with a readily available walking stress reliever in the living room, go into mine to gather things, pack them into that big hiking backpack bought for me but never used (wonder why and what they were hoping for anyway), flee and have a talk with my family some time later.

After reiterating The Plan two more times I came to conclusion it was good.

Let us commence-

-is what I'd like to say if not for three things silently staring back at me right behind the entrance door. Namely, Dad's dress shoes, Mom's flats and Komachi's school footwear.

There went The Plan. I made the gods laugh again. Is gods' entertainer a valid occupation? Apparently I was quite a viable candidate.

What were they all doing here? I inadvertently gulped.

"What is it, Hachi?" Yuki looked at me worriedly. "Are you... Oh. Are your parents at home?"

"Yeah..." I slowly replied. "And Komachi too. It's Thursday, right? Almost three in the afternoon?"

"That's correct," She briefly looked at her wristwatch. "Strange indeed... Is it a bad thing?"

"...Dunno?"

Yuki looked at me in mild wonder.

"Then... Shall we?"

"Yeah... yeah."

After walking Yuki to the kitchen sink we entered the living room, me cautiously, her in silent wonder. Not even ten seconds later she spotted our bookshelf and immediately headed to it.

"Now this is quite..." Yuki mused to herself while observing the contents. "Is that your parents'?"

"Well, yeah. Dad's to be precise... and mine."

"Yours are light novels, I presume?" She smiled and pointed to the bottom right corner, containing sorted out light novels and manga.

"Hahah. Nope. At least quarter there is Dad's too."

"Oh." Yuki went on to checking the other sections. "Western science fiction, Japanese science fiction... Chohei Kanbayashi... Sakyo Komatsu... Koubou Abe... hm... Not really acquainted with those... Secret Rendezvous? Sounds like a romantic novel, what's it doing here-"

"Don't touch that," I shuddered. "It's not. Just... don't."

"Your reaction is strange... But I guess I'll trust you on this one," Yuki moved to another corner. "So you have a dedicated corner to the Japanese classical literature."

"Oh, that... yeah. Anyway, wait a bit here, be right back- ah. Yeah. Right..."

The last phrase was said due to two things happening at once: Yuki suddenly turning her head to her stairs' general direction and falling entirely silent, eyes wide; and a soft "purr?" coming from the same general direction.

Of course. Kamakura had woken up, heard a new unknown person in the house and, contrary to his usual behaviour, let curiosity get the better of him. So here he was, looking at Yuki looking at him, tail slowly swaying side to side. Kamakura's tail, not Yuki's. I somehow feel I have to clarify that.

"Yeah, that." I picked up the feline and headed for the sofa. "Mind sitting down with Kamakura a bit while I gather my stuff? Should make you feel better too."

"Yes. I agree completely. I don't mind." Yuki mechanically replied while closely tracking the cat in my hands.

After seeing me put Kamakura to the armrest Yuki lightly and quietly stepped to the sofa and sat down.

"... N... Nyaa."

"Yeah, been meaning to tell you ever since the first time you met him. You actually don't just 'nyaa' at cats," I slowly said, in a silent wonder at the scene unfolding before me. "If you really wanna communicate, that is. Let him sniff your finger first."

"Oh- ah- yes- my apologies," Yuki hastily composed herself, sat straight and slowly brought her finger to Kamakura's nose, him alternating at looking at her and at the hand all the time. After she stopped he directed his attention to Yuki's slender finger and sniffed it. Then, unexpectedly, he hopped on the cushions and moved to Yuki herself, specifically, to her face.

And sniffed it too.

And actually rubbed against it, eliciting an elated gasp from Yuki.

That... had been never observed before.

"... I think he acknowledged you." As part of his people, that is. "That literally never happened before."

"Do you mean it?" Yuki responded with a mix of wonder and, it seemed, sheer joy of being distinguished that way.

"Yeah. Well... I'll be in my room." I said turning back. "Won't be long."

With that I made two steps to the stairs and almost bumped nose to nose into my Mom.

Judging by the looks of it she had just come down, clad in her home tracksuit, with a big juice carton in her head, as she always was on weekends. She apparently also was just going to take a gulp and now instead stopped and stared, mouth agape, brows knitted together, at the sofa.

"Holy moly." She uttered with a perfectly flat affect and gulped some juice. "What the hell am I looking at. What is this beauty doing here. Why is Kamakura cuddling to her. Oh hi Hachiman. You're kinda early from school, something happened? Better go up to your room, Komachi's friend has come."

She turned to the stairs.

"Komachi! Can you warn when you're inviting friends over next time? So I could at least look civil. Also Hachiman had come back, can you try acquainting them?" She then added to herself: "Can't let myself hope, but still, wouldn't hurt, right?" And to Yuki again: "Oh, I'm sorry for looking like this, Komachi will come down now and I'll get dressed. Will be back in a jiffy."

Oi. That was mean.

Just as I was gathering my thoughts Komachi came down too. This was now getting twice as awkward. Maybe if I could just somehow sneak into my room and avoid it all-

"Hey Bro. Mom I didn't call anyone- ohhhhh, afternoon Yukino-san! Nice to see you here! Nah, she's actually Bro's girlfriend, I think he brought her along. He stayed at her place yesterday, you were just too late and tired so I didnt tell you. What happened yesterday by the way? Something bad?"

"Yeah, uh-"

"Stop. Hold it." Mom interrupted with the same dumbfounded yet concentrated expression, clearly struggling to process what she had just heard. "Not funny. Is this a sibling prank- what do you mean Hachiman's girlfriend- are you kidding me- wait girlfriend **WHAT**."

Yuki, who had been sitting confused through the whole ordeal, finally chose this moment to introduce herself. Gently pushing back Kamakura with visible regret, she stood up, made a very elegant bow and humbly said:

"Nice to meet you, I'm Yuki-n-no Yukinoshita. I am indeed your son's girlfriend. I sincerely hope we get along."

Mom's eyes finally widened.

"...Holy moly."

* * *

"By himself? For real?" I heard Komachi ask while returning from the kitchen with a bottle of cold green tea and glasses for everyone. "That's wei-I mean nice! Really! Didn't even have to use the guest treats?"

"The what?" I meant it. We had guest cat treats?

"The treats our guests can give him." Komachi rolled her eyes at me. "So he would be more friendly. How come you don't know- what am I even asking. Of course you didn't."

For a second I stood in place, entirely dumbfounded, unable do decide on what I should be offended about: Komachi yet again poking at the fact I have no friends or the revelation that notorious snobbish jerkass Kamakura actually could be bribed so easily.

Furry traitor. Only curling up on Yuki's lap can redeem him. Which he was actually doing right now and I felt betrayed once more, right until I saw Yuki's expression: for the first time in the last 24 hours she, while collected and showing humbly polite body language, wasn't giving off the impression of being held at gunpoint.

Fine, fluffybutt. Forgiven.

"Nevermind." I shook my head, gave the glasses to everyone and started pouring the tea. Both Mom and Dad indeed were at home: another generous day off by their company. So was Komachi: her school's roof was receiving its well overdue maintenance and the resulting noise and dust were incompatible with studying of any kind.

Everyone had changed into more sensible casual wear; we were a civil household after all. Both my parents couldn't help but discreetly scrutinize Yuki; even if the latter noticed that she let it slide, instead concentrating on petting Kamakura. For a second I actually wanted to tell them to stop, but then suddenly realized one thing.

I have known Yuki for almost a year now and slowly became desensitized to her looks, even before asking her out. I would be the first one to attest, after all the verbal prickling I've endured from her, that Yuki was the living breathing example of looks not being everything. Yet I still distinctly remembered that first time I saw her up close: her elegance, her refined gestures befitting a princess, her calmly concentrated look...

Let them be then. And may I have willpower to endure all the stupid "gosh, where did you get such a pretty girl?".

Take Dad for example. Right now he was already opening his mouth to ask exactly tha-

"So Yukinoshita as in _the_ Yukinoshita?"

-great. Out of the two elephants in the room he had chosen the biggest one. I actually had been giving it some thought time to time, since the question was rather obvious. The best I could come up with was a very long, very meticulous explanation carefully avoiding any compromising details about how that shouldn't be a problem.

After a long internal sigh I finally started speaking.

"She is but it's complicated right now. All I can say is, it currently doesn't pose a problem-"

"Oh come on, all you can think about is their money?" Mom flinched. "You think that's the important part?"

Dad actually made a quiet tired groan, leaned at the sofa's armrest and phlegmatically propped his head into his palm. His eyes suddenly became very dull. Yeah, that's who my eyes are inherited from.

"We're doing external audits for them. That's all."

"We are?" Mom stared at him in mild disbelief.

"What do you think you were working on in February?"

"Do you _remember_ February?"

"Yeah. Your point being?"

"In a jiffy. What do you remember in February?"

Dad looked aside with a concentrated expression on his face.

"Uhh... End of fiscal year?"

"Exactly. I came home on the last train, then closed my eyes and saw spreadsheets. I opened Twitter to read something before sleeping and only saw those damn spreadsheets everywhere. I dreamed of spreadsheets." Mom tilted her head and gave Dad a side look full of exasperation. "You think I remembered who they all were? You think I care?"

"Yeah," he solemnly nodded. "I get you. I totally do."

Let me reiterate one very important thought:

I don't. Want. To work. Even though I'll have to in the nearest future.

"Hachi," Yuki gently tugged my sleeve with a small smile, "I think I know why you're like that."

"...Hachi?" "Hachi?!" "Wait, what?" We both actually shrunk under the triple outburst.

Make it three elephants.

"Oh gosh." Mom cupped her face. "She actually calls him _Hachi_."

"Mom, stop it."

"It's that serious."

"Mom."

"I had my doubts first, but now I'm sure. Thank you for taking care of my useless son."

"Mom-"

"Stop calling him useless!" Yuki suddenly exclaimed. Kamakura hastily scrambled and hopped off her lap. Everyone fell silent.

"He's not! " Her face was entirely serious, painfully so. "True, he's demotivated, and lazy, but he's not useless. He's actually one of the most caring and capable people I've met. He helped so many others, he... he stayed by my side when no one else did! Please don't call him that! Please appreciate your own son more! Don't throw him away just like that! Don't-"

Her tone was only slightly louder than normal, but sounded exactly the same as when she was stating her arguments all the back, before the student council elections.

That was her equivalent of shouting.

"Yuki." I carefully took her hand in mine, reaching out to stroke her hair with another. "Yuki. It's fine. She didn't mean it like that. I'm fine. She's fine. It's alright."

"I..." Yuki looked at me with expression most guilty and miserable. "... I overreacted, didn't I?"

"Kinda." I kept stroking her palms, trying to soothe her.

"I-I apologize," she hastily bowed to my parents and leaned back again, her shoulders still sagged; Kamakura stared at her for some time, then carefully approached her and sniffed her knee. Yuki smiled at him guiltily and put her hands off her lap. The cat warily evaluated the situation some more, then finally leapt back into her lap.

"... What was that?" Komachi quietly asked. "Is that related to why you were staying at her place? Bro, what's going on?"

"I told you it's complicated. By the way, I'm moving out to live with her for some time."

"Hachiman." Mom sipped some soda no one had touched yet and sent me a disapproving look. "That was some real non sequitur mastery right there. I really think you should stop skipping whole sentences."

"Wha?.. Uhh, sorry."

"You're just like Kuroto that day. Like, 'here's the reports for the month you've asked for, by the way, will you go out with me?' Just like that."

"Sorry for being direct," Dad shot back without lifting his head from his palm, "'Want to be Honest but Come off as Brash and Insensitive instead' Ayahi-san. Look who's talking. "

" _Anyway_." I decided to interject before I heard more tired bickering from my parents. "I actually came back to gather my stuff."

"So you're leaving just like that..." Mom pondered. "Out of all the scenarios you've picked the most anticlimactic one."

"Sorry."

"Uh-huh." Mom turned to Yuki. "Say, Yukino-san, do you have a vacuum cleaner? Or a broom? What about the clothes hanger rod? Cleaning chemicals? Futons? Do you have a single pot? A study desk? Organizer racks?"

"...Oh?" Yuki instantly composed herself. "No, we don't. We do have futons, there's also two storage shelves inside the room... as for the rest, no, not yet. I had to leave on a short notice, so..."

"Well, there you have it. Kuroto, dear. Remember I kept nagging about sorting out all the antique crap in our garage?"

* * *

"How did you get to know each other?"

Dad's sudden question caught me mid-retrieving the old dusty vacuum cleaner which was thoroughly snuggled behind a roll of wallpaper and, it seemed, a car's bumper; if the damn thing was younger than me, it was only slightly so.

We had already excavated a decent sautee pan, a pot, a rice cooker and a microwave; plus a semi-disassembled wire rack and an Ikea storage organizer; not counting various dust-covered cardboard boxes which Dad told me not to bother about (and for one he uttered a quiet "whupee" and told me to stay away from, very vehemently so).

In short, our garage was a wild crossover between a treasure cave and an inventory storage from your old MMO account you decided to check after three years on a whim: so much seemingly useful stuff complete with a total inability to distinguish it from the rest, not to mention unbury it without shaking the damn place up whole.

"Uhhh... we're in a club together." I was less baffled by the question and more by Dad's sudden interest in my school life.

"Ain't bad. Ain't bad at all," he absentmindedly replied while carefully fishing out something long and thin, wrapped in several layers of cloth. "Nice, the laundry hanger rod's here. Had survived four apartments. How did you even end up in a club anyway?"

It never occurred to me before but Dad really was a master of non-sequiturs.

"My teacher forced me into it," I reluctantly replied, taking the rod and putting it by the adjacent wall.

"Huh. One of those still giving two shits then," Dad mused and sneezed. "Good to know."

"You didn't have any like that?" I idly wondered.

"Nah." Dad adjusted his glasses and sneezed once more for good measure. "Wait a bit. There are some masks somewhere... yeah, top shelf. Lemme get them."

"I'll pick them," I replied reaching out for the box in question. After donning the offered mask Dad thanked me and continued:

"Either old lazy asses counting the days till retirement or some young asses who... Idunno, how did they even end up teaching? And Yamane-sensei. Always picking on me for anything. And then the whole class joining in. Screw him. I wish he burns in hell. And Fujii, that fat asshole. Always caught me when I was daydreaming and ranted about how I'm never gonna land a good job if I'm counting clouds. Yeah, who's laughing now. And that singing classes frump Machida. Always remaking folk songs' lyrics about me. Well, some others too, but me the most. May she burn in hell-"

"Dad," I hastily interrupted him, "I'm sorry. Please. Stop."

It was one thing when I was recounted the list of people to gruesomely murder in my head. It was completely another when it's done by your own father. Spanish shame is so painful.

"Yeah. Yeah." Dad finally decided to break the awkward silence. "Alright, what the hell's this one- oh it's my Discman. Long time no see, Maru-chan."

God he was more pathetic than me. How was that even possible?

"Yeah. You have it nice. Yeah..." Dad said to no one in particular, seemingly still feeling awkward. "Almost done. Hey, there you are."

With some effort he lifted out another box.

"An SL-P5000. When I bought this one it was already your age. Ah, the times... That means they're also somewhere close. And... Oh yes."

Even in the dimly lit garage I saw something I've never seen before: Dad's eyes were now almost _shining_.

"Yes. God yes. All my CDs."

"Huh." I replied, more to myself than to him. "I think I remember those."

"You know what? Screw it. I'm indulging myself tonight."

Dad carefully stacked both the player and the CD box and carried them to the door like they were the most precious things in the world.

"Stupid Kuroto. Doesn't listen when the wife tells him to clean the garage."

"How did you get to know Mom then?" I asked, surprised by my own sudden curiosity. "You're... you know... just like me..."

"Totally undateable? Yeah, damn right." Dad stretched his back and scratched his face beneath the mask. "By the way, been meaning to tell you. Treasure her. Not getting second chances."

"Yeah, yeah."

"As for Ayahi... heh... Walked her home after we both stayed late at work. Both newbies so everyone just dumped all the leftover work on us. You know how it goes."

"Yeah, you tell me."

"Tell you what? You don't even work full time."

"So? That one time in Matsuya they left me cleaning when their shifts were over."

"Oh. That's why you never returned there."

"... Yeah." I flinched.

"So I walked her home, cause we actually were living two blocks apart. Then she invited me to beer after work. Learned more about my coworkers than I ever needed to know. Sharp eyes, sharp wits, sharp tongue and like no politeness limiters whatsoever. That's some damn combo. One year in she didn't even bother with formalities anymore. Then it kinda went on that way. I talked about books, she talked about jazz and coworkers, then we stayed up late in manga cafes and went to work with the bags under eyes... heh."

I fell silent.

"So you really asked her out just like that?"

"She said yes just like that too by the way. So look who's talking."

"Huh."

To be honest, thinking about my parents that way kinda never happened in my life. That they too once were young college graduates on a new job; a man and a woman compatible enough to start dating, marrying, making a family, raising me and Komachi...

"Good thing Komachi's not like us." Dad seemingly guessed my thoughts. "Y'know, like you and me."

"True that." I paused, but then a sudden thought came on my mind. "Dad?.."

"Yeah?"

"When you were first living together with Mom..."

"Yeah?"

"What did you do when she went to the bathroom?"

"Huh. Well, took Maru-chan and plugged the headpho... nes... " Dad suddenly froze in place. "And when she wanted to change before a date too. Just not to spoil the surprise... Or when she wanted to show off a new swimsuit... holy shit."

"...Dad?"

"...No. Nevermind. Take this, this is the last one." He offered me a smaller box.

"What's this?"

"Our laptops. Should be a Vaio P and a Toshiba Libretto. Kinda stopped needing them when we were issued company iPads."

"...Oh. Thanks..."

"Don't mention it. Check the batteries though." Dad heavily stood up straight from his bent position and tiredly stretched. "Now go get changed and cleaned, Mom should be done with the dinner. Let's see how your girlfriend's holding up."

"I guess fine." I shrugged. Among the chaos that was my life recently there was at least that one thing I was sure about. That made feel better.

And not that I would tell anyone, but talking to Dad once in a while actually helped too.

* * *

"Yukino-san's damn _fine_ ," Mom looked positively shocked. "Kinda too formal and by-the-book for my taste, but holy moly. She picks up everything instantly."

"P-please don't exaggerate," Behind her Yuki, still in one of Mom's aprons, shyly blushed.

"I'm not! Come check some."

One look at the table was enough to confirm that: besides Mom's staple hamburg steak, nanban chicken and tuna salad there was also a pasta bowl, green and smelling of cheese, and a tomato soup. As much as I was yucked by the latter I let it slide yet again. Was Yuki trolling me?..

Well, even if she was.

The decision to let it slide proved damn right: the soft creamy soup, rich with all the right flavors, practically melted in my mouth, making me forget tomatoes were there in the first place. Even Komachi, who already had the chance to taste Yuki's cooking, looked like she was about to have a food-gasm and start describing the meal's amazing quality, Erina style. The taste was so good Dad's face showed something other than bored indifference for a change. Mom was basically ecstatic.

"Yuki?"

"Hm?"

"...Thanks for the food."

If it was even possible she blushed even more.

"Don't mention it."

"Hachiman, you really hit a jackpot."

"Mom..." I cringed. "She's more than that, you know."

That made her pause.

"Hmmm... Komachi told me you're so serious about her lately. I couldn't believe it at first. I mean, It's like saying Santa Claus exists. But now... I'm convinced. You'd be real dumb to let go of her, you know. Let's enjoy the meal."

After finishing up dinner I went up to my room, listening with half an ear as Mom was telling Yuki she'd go look for the family albums. Now, still shuddering at the thought, I slowly started digging up various boxes and packages to pack my stuff. Let's see, spare uniform, pants, some more pants, dress shirts, t-shirts, underwear, some more underwear (as per Sensei's advice)...

The resulting pile actually neatly fit into the hiking backpack that indeed was hidden in my closet. Sighing, I looked at the desk. This one also was from Ikea. Meaning I could easily disassemble it on my own, just like I did back then. Great, now on to packing my stationery...

My eyes fell on Vita-chan, still lying on the desk with the charger plugged in. Should I take it? Should I not? I finally settled on the former. Long train rides wouldn't be so boring.

Thinking about train rides led my thought process to a rather related notion.

I have been commuting to school on my trusty bike for quite some time already, since junior high in fact. The bike lane along Hanamigawa led almost to my block, and from its crossing with Kaihin-Oodori Soubu High was a stone throw away. Being relocated to Funabashi was rather inconvenient. Just how inconvenient though? If my estimations were correct, riding to school would now take around 45 minutes instead of my normal 17. Thrice longer, but I was confident in my stamina.

But what about Yuki?

Would it be me biking and her taking the train then?

That seemed like an option... Let's see. She would have to ride to Keisei-Inage. If my memory of Keisei line zoning was correct, they still were in the same commute zone, meaning 250-ish yen give or take. A quick search on my phone showed me I was almost correct: 260 yen. That's if you don't have a monthly commuter pass, which makes it cheaper, though I wasn't sure how much.

From Keisei-Inage awaited a long walk to school, or another 200 yen or so if you took Keisei bus. Four weeks a month, five school days... The number on my phone's calculator wasn't inspiring: 6 to 10 thousand yen.

Could we afford it?

On the other hand, where would I get a bike for Yuki? Heh, that one's actually easy. Komachi kinda never got to use hers so it was stashed somewhere home waiting for better times.

That required a consultation with Yuki.

As I hauled the backpack downstairs I found Mom, Yuki and Komachi gushing and giggling over one of the albums. Well, to be precise, Mom and Komachi gushing and giggling and Yuki just smiling. As much as I hated anyone looking into my childhood photos (who would've like them anyway? _I_ didn't), Yuki needed all the relief and distraction available right now.

"Oh, Hachiman, you're done already? One more thing." Mom got up from the sofa and made a beeline to the kitchen.

"Yukino-san told me you're starting to cook. What's next, you're a company CEO in disguise? So, here you go." She handed me a small but heavy bundle. "My old cookbook and our spare santoku. You'll know what to do with those."

"Uhh..."

Well.

Whatever.

* * *

"Of course I will ride with you." Yuki sternly told me. The effect was undermined by the preceding dozen seconds of her standing with her eyes closed, obviously fighting her inner demons and battling the grueling fact of her nigh-absent stamina. Her face was very telling at the moment. During the harsh times I had to battle the burden of social interactions or going to part-time jobs again I had exactly the same face.

I totally related to that, Yuki. If that made you feel any better.

"Are you sure?"

"Even if we can afford extra money for the commuting, it's either us both on the train or both riding the bikes."

"Well..."

"I'll be fine!" She retorted angrily, but then looked sideways and quietly added: "Probably..."

"Okay then..." I slowly said. "I can lay off MAX Coffee if you don't make it...Save the money, for, you know..."

Yuki looked at me with blank eyes, then suddenly started giggling.

"What? Making a noble sacrifice here-"

"It's like Gift of the Magi all over again," Yuki finally uttered. That made me smile too.

"Yeah. Appreciate the irony."

* * *

As I finished putting out all my clothes into the newly installed organizer rack, Yuki was just done copying what few mutual contacts we had into her new whatsitsname smartphone; fortunately au's shop had plans with phones included, so Yuki signed to one of them with minimum calls and maximum data.

"Almost there," she somehow sensed my gaze without looking, "I'll have to send a note to Yuigahama-san."

"Patiently waiting for you, that's our Yuigahama. Didn't even send me anything."

"She is like that," Yuki nodded. "Our Yuigahama-san... and sent."

"'Our', eh..."

"Our friend Yuigahama-san." Yuki touched her chin. "I do feel awkward for not inviting her to help us move."

"So she would drop something all the time?"

"Meeeeanieeee!" Yuki made an almost perfect imitation. "Or something to that effect. She's better than tha-"

 _Bzz_

"Oh. Alre-"

 _Bzz_

 _Bzz_

 _BzzBzz_

 _Bzz_

"Yuigahama-san?.."

 _Bzz_

 _Bzz_

 _Bzz_

Finally Yuki's phone became quiet. She looked at it, touched her temples, showed an exasperated smile, like that of a tired mother to her bubbly child, and sighed.

"I suppose I will respond to that."

"I suppose so too."

Not knowing what to do, I just idly roamed to the only window.

We were located on the second floor, so fortunately the view was better than it could be: around a dozen of nearby homes' roofs instead of just the road and a small fishing accessories shop across. Going to my home and back again took some three hours more, so the sun was already starting to set. A muffled noise from the passing train partially overtook the occasional buzzing of Yuki's phone as she chatted with Yuigahama. Several cyclists passed by below.

Turning my head back I took a look at our new home, or a nest, or whatever one may call it; not much effort to do that, really. White walls, a rack, my reassembled desk with Yuki typing on her phone, a wall shelf with two futons, another wall shelf with our clothes, a folded family kotatsu in the corner.

We were going to live here now.

True, I could always call Sensei or my parents, but...

We were going to live _here_ now. I probably would need some time to comprehend that.

"Maybe we should take a walk or something..." I mused aloud.

"Actually I was about to suggest it," Yuki replied stashing her new phone.

"Feeling uneasy, right?"

"...Right. Take me for a walk," Yuki rose up, opened the shelf and took our coats. With those she turned to me: "as everyone turns over, troubled in their dreams again."

"Uhhh... It's just past six."

"It was a quote. My apologies." Yuki shook her head.

After locking our apartment's door shut ( _our apartment's_ door) we went down the flimsy rusty stairs, then headed left, to the station; Yuki took my hand, I gently squeezed it. Small two-storey private houses gave way to high-rise condos at almost exactly this point, making some sort of a border between the worlds. Both me and Yuki were semi-consciously turning our heads left and right, taking in sights, remembering new landmarks and learning to navigate in a new neighborhood. While no one was particularly keen to talking, I felt more relaxed now. Judging by Yuki's grip on my hand becoming more soft the same was true for her.

Just like all our dates. We probably both could call it our favorite part. Bonus points for not needing to hide from everyone anymore.

Just as I thought that I spotted something familiar. A silverish mane of hair tied in a loose ponytail was moving in front of us now, having turned from some backstreet. The mane belonged to a tall girl in casual clothes determinedly walking to the station entrance.

Just as I was thinking if I should greet her or not, Saki Kawasaki turned to check something and spotted us.

"...Yo."

"Hey." I awkwardly replied back.

"Good evening, Kawasaki-san." Yuki greeted her.

Kawasaki in turn gauged us both with a puzzled look on her face, but then raised her brows in recognition.

"Not hiding anymore, I take it? Congrats."

"Thanks?" I half-asked, still not knowing how to conduct myself. Kawasaki just shrugged. "Returning from work?"

"Nah, meeting Taishi at the station. He forgot his commuter pass." After a pause she asked: "You? Going on a date?"

"Actually..." Yuki paused awkwardly. "We've just moved here."

"Really? 'We', huh... What about your fa..." Kawasaki squinted. "Need a job?"

Yuki, while taken aback by the other girl having caught on, carefully let go of my hand, sighed and bowed.

"Yes. I would appreciate any recommendations."

"That bad, huh," Kawasaki definitely was stunned, then appeared pondering on something. "How about Lawson over there then? I'm actually about to start a shift there right now."

"Do they even have vacancies?" I hesitantly asked.

"Are you dumb? Everyone does. Everyone's understaffed because population's declining. You don't follow news or what?"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Uhhh... No prob," She just sighed. "Didn't mean it like that."

"When can you introduce us?" Yuki asked.

"Right after I come back from the station," Kawasaki shrugged.

"We will wait then."

"Sure. Gotta admit, never pinned you as a working type though..."

That last bit definitely was unnecessary. Was she still somewhat bitter after that meetup at Angel Ladder?..

I felt Yuki tense beside me.

"Kawasaki-san, what if I told you Mother had forced no less than _five_ different employers to chase me away after she found out I took part-timing?"

That made Kawasaki pause and just stare back at her.

"... Huh. Guess your mom's not digging you being independent then. Rich kids... Wait here. I'll be back in five minutes."

* * *

"...Do not, I repeat, _do not_ ever leave the till drawer open," the manager's voice kept droning as I was transferring new beer bottles into the fridge shelf. After the employment formalities Yasuda-san, a forty-something lean man with a perpetually tired expression on his face not unlike Dad's, took one look at us and assigned Yuki to Kawasaki as an apprentice cashier. I, of course, was simply told to go outside and wait for the truck with goods for restocking. The truck indeed arrived not five minutes later; all I remembered afterwards was look at the cargo bay, see one box or another coming at me, take it, look for a place to put it, put it, rinse, repeat. When the driver finally said goodbye and the truck left I was still standing there listening to muted pulsing pain going through me. Human body has so many muscles. A couple unloading sessions like this and I think I'll learn them all.

Then Yasuda-san came soon after, took a look at all the pallets, said "great" and motioned for me to come in with the nearest box. The box contained sealed magazines, which I then sorted and correctly laid out on the rack before the entrance under my new manager's dull-sounding but surprisingly detailed instructions, all the while trying not to get in the customers' way as much as possible. At least the last part was easy.

Then I returned with pallets of beer while Yasuda-san was giving instructions to Yuki.

Next up were three cases of canned tea.

Then packed bentos.

Then deep-fried food for the heater at the registers.

Then chewing gums, hairbrushes, cosmetics, prepaid game cards, batteries, flashcards...

About one hour in I knew that literally every corner of the tiny convenience store's inner space held correctly placed items that belonged there and only there; that the chime signalling someone's entry or exit got grating and mind-numbing too fast for my comfort; that the bubbly pop on the constantly turned on radio had probably lowered my IQ by five points or so; and that Yuki's "Welcome!"'s and "Free cashier, please line up here"'s and "should I warm it up for you?"'s and "Exact change, thank you"'s surprisingly were still nice to hear even after a dozen customers she had served with only minor input from Kawasaki.

Also I never knew the Lawson uniform would look _stupid_ good on her.

Another thirty minutes later I suddenly found myself idly staring outside, into the dark, feeling the bright lights of the interior with my skin, listening to but not really hearing something by Momoiro Clover Z playing on the radio, accompanied by Yuki and Kawasaki quietly chatting. No Yasuda-san was in sight. An office lady came in with another woman in sneakers, jeans and a coat. The office lady grabbed a bento, the other woman a set of band-aids. Yuki, while quick and nimble, already was looking sleepy and tired. Both women smiled back at her and headed for the exit; I overheard them quietly discussing "that new cashier girl, nice right? such gorgeous hair! a total beauty!". I followed them with my eyes until they exited, not sure what to make of it.

Yasuda-san chose that exact time to appear to show me how to organize the goods after they were misplaced by the customers; another hour flew by.

The only semi-remarkable event was when a tall overweight foreigner in (probably) his thirties came in to buy a natto roll and a bottle of tea. As he was heading to Yuki he noticed something in a fridge and fished out a bottle of Coca Cola Clear, his face so surprised he may as well have found an elixir of youth. Shaking his head he went on to buying his items, as well as ordering a croquette from the heating shelf; his Japanese was decent but I couldn't pinpoint the accent. After paying for everything and, for some reason, smiling and bowing back to the cashiers he exited, stopped outside to take a photo of the bottle, then disappeared typing something on the phone.

Then came the last bout of sorting stuff and refreshing the contents of the heating shelf and I finally found myself standing outside, an envelope with my wage in my pocket, waiting for Yuki to get changed.

Some time later she appeared along with Kawasaki.

"... a real convenient grocery shop with time sales at around five just a block away," I heard Kawasaki say.

"I will keep that in mind. Honestly, thank you."

"Don't make it a big deal," Kawasaki flinched in turn. "You're a fellow working gal now. And, you know... not so bad."

"My, thank you for a compliment," Yuki tiredly smiled and lightly bowed. "See you tomorrow."

"Nah, I have a shift at another place, so the day after. G'night." Kawasaki replied, nodded back and headed to the station. Yuki meanwhile approached me, her gait unsteady and tired. After making two more steps she bumped face first into my chest, then looked up and raised her hand, her fingers holding some invisible object.

"Beep," She muttered after making a scanning motion around my nose. "One Hachi. The sum total is one hug. Should I warm him up for you?"

"Yes please," I sighed in relief and hugged her. "Tired?"

"Very." She leaned into me and rubbed her head into my shoulder. "I suppose you had it worse, though."

"Kinda. Go home?"

"Hm... Home," Yuki pondered. "Yes. Let's. We have leftover food from your parents for dinner, so I have picked two bentos and two bottles of tea for breakfast tomorrow, 1400 yen total. My payment for today is 3200. I suppose so should be yours. We'll have to check out that grocery store as soon as practical."

"Not today?"

"... No." She leaned into me even more. "I don't think I can make it. I'm barely alive to return and have a shower."

"I get you," I gloomily replied. "I totally do. God I don't want to work."

At least that made her laugh.

* * *

The apartment didn't feel uneasy anymore.

I don't think anyone could feel uneasy when they're so overwhelmingly tired.

I now idly sat on the floor beside our laid out futons, staring at the wall and listening to the music on my phone as Yuki was taking a shower. Our leftover dinner was beside a fridge right now; I still had to unfold our kotatsu which was resting by the adjacent wall and for that I had to somehow force myself to stand up. After a minute of an epic struggle worthy of a whole shounen anime season, I finally approached the furniture in question, heavily set it down and unfolded its legs.

Some time later Yuki exited the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel. For a second I thought she herself would also be wearing just a towel around the body, but since we also agreed to use the bathroom for changing she was now clad in comfy-looking striped pajama pants and a parka with cat paw prints. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Bath is ready..." Yuki uttered, but then shickered: "... I mean, the shower stall."

"Alright." I replied heavily rising up. "Gonna miss my bath a lot."

"Oh, don't remind me," Yuki shook her head, though her tone remained cheeful.

"Maybe we can go to my folks to have a nice bath on weekends."

"Probably will be cheaper than public bath too."

"Damn right."

As I was standing under a stream of hot water, letting it warm up my body and relax my muscles, I for the umpteenth time thought about our situation. Not that school students living independently was that much of a big deal nowadays. Though maybe not all of them cut the ties to their families _that_ thoroughly. We now had to plan so many things, break so many habits to learn new ones: go working, arrange showering (as well as doing our laundry too, I mentally added glancing at the washing machine), cooking, cleaning, budgeting... And on top of it all, my inner voice added with a distinct giggle, tomorrow we had to go to school as if nothing happened. That almost made me feel like some mecha shounen protagonist. You can fight giant monsters, respond to your preferably hot commanding officer, save the world, save the girl... and go to school. Because nothing was more important than school.

Unlike the aforementioned protagonists I didn't even get to save the world. Hell, I was barely scraping by trying to save the girl.

We ate our dinner in tired silence, then dimmed the ligths and both settled ourselves on our futons: Yuki still with Heavy Object, me with my Vita. I didn't feel I had enough energy to read anything meaningful.

Just as I was staring at the home screen, pondering what to play, I felt a light pressure on my shoulder accompanied by the nice aroma of an apple shampoo. Yuki snuggled up by my side and was now looking at my portable console with silent interest.

"What, never seen a Vita before?"

"Not up close."

"Mother never let you?"

"Actually not, though I'm not certain about that. I just never quite picked an interest."

"Wanna try?"

"To tell you the truth..." Yuki pondered. "I wouldn't mind. As it turns out I don't have enough energy to concentrate on reading now."

"Heh. Same. Lessee what's suitable for you... Project Diva?"

"Since I don't know what it is... maybe?"

"A rhythm game. Tap the buttons in time."

"I think I can manage that much," Yuki nodded to herself.

"Alright then..." I started the game, selected New and picked up the save slots. "Those are your save slots. Switching profiles on Vita is kinda pain..."

"Understood."

"Let me show you."

I fired up the tutorial and tapped through Levan Polka, noticing Yuki's reaction at the corner of my eye. She was following the arrows and buttons on screen, eyes slightly wide, sometimes nodding to herself. If she recognized chance times, long taps and rhythm cues in one go I wouldn't be surprised.

"Something like that."

"Oh. I think I got it." Yuki sat on her knees beside me. "Can I try?"

"Yeah-" I agreed but then a thought crossed my mind. "Just, maybe sit on my lap... if it's okay. It's just... I feel like lately we're not... you know..."

"Alright." Yuki stood up and, seeing my gaze, gently smiled: "I agree. I do feel like lately we're not 'you know' too."

Seeing I stretched my legs, Yuki carefully sat down on my lap; without really thinking I wrapped my hands around her waist, nuzzling her hair.

Much as I was tired and still somewhat anxious, the next hour and a half or so erased the gloomy thoughts entirely. Yuki, relaxed in my hands, was clearing songs one by one on Normal, then Hard, then Extreme; did I get myself a personal High Score Girl, I briefly wondered before shrugging. Her head was slightly bobbing up to the rhythms, tickling my nose and making me weirdly giddy. In the reflection on Vita's screen her smile was clearly visible.

Several buzzes on my phone were messages from, surprisingly, both Mom and Dad, asking if everything was alright, reminding I could always ask for help and wishing me good night. I replied everything was fine.

My musings were interrupted by Yuki putting the half-drained console away and stifling a yawn.

"School's tomorrow."

"Yeah. Waking up at half past five," I shuddered at the thought. A whole half an hour earlier than I usually did, and it's not like I loved waking up early all _that_ much. I suppressed a very gloomy sigh capable of turning whole towns depressive.

Seeing that Yuki knelt beside me and caressed my cheek. As I turned to her in a mild wonder, she closed in and gave me a tender kiss; something we haven't done in ages, it felt. Letting myself relax, I held her close, stroking her lithe slender back, letting her trace my face with her delicate fingers.

"A kiss goodnight. "Yuki shyly said after we broke the kiss, now looking into my eyes as we stayed forehead to forehead. "'The sky will clear again after the rain'. Now I finally feel like it."

"Another quote?"

"Correct."

"Which one?"

"An old English band called Comsat Angels."

"And that one about troubled in their dreams or something too?.."

"No," she shook her hand. "An equally old English band called The Cure."

"... Huh."

"'...Huh' as in 'Weird for me to listen to those'? I can explain, just... not right now. Will you listen some time later?"

"Of course." I yawned. "Night."

"Night."

* * *

 _Totally didn't happen:_

I have known Yuki for almost a year now and slowly became desensitized to her looks, even before asking her out. I would be the first one to attest, after all the verbal prickling I've endured from her, that Yuki was the living breathing example of looks not being everything. Yet I still distinctly remembered that first time I saw her up close: her elegance, her refined gestures befitting a princess, her calmly concentrated look...

Let them be then. And may I have willpower to endure all the stupid "gosh, where did you get such a pretty girl?".

Take my Dad for example. Right now he was already opening his mouth to ask exactly tha-

"So Yukinoshita as in _the_ Yukinoshita?"

-great. Out of the two elephants in the room-

" _I'm right_. She's _the_ Yukinoshita! I see the resemblance!"

...Dad?

I couldn't even recognize the man before my eyes. Who is this triumphant maniacally laughing person?

"Serves him! _Serves him_! First he swoons all the girls in our college year, then he dares lay hands on my dear Ayahi! I took her from him and my son will take his precious daughter! How do you like that you rich scumbag! Ahahahaha!"

"...Dear?" Mom chimed in, entirely unflapped by the sudden display.

"What?"

"Kids are watching."

"Oh? Oh good. Let them, let them!" Dad energetically stood up and headed for the kitchen. "This is a story to tell over the finest white tea we have!"

 _A/N: Shoot me again, I ain't dead yet. In other good news: endgame! You can trust me on that! Unlike Watari._


	9. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7. I Want to Lead the Case, so to Speak, by Myself**

One of the most pleasant things in my life, especially as of lately, was simply watching Yuki. She didn't even have to do anything meaningful during my observation bouts. Taking measured sips from her cup, slowly flipping the pages of her book, massaging the back of her neck with those delicate slender fingers while slowly tilting her head left, right, back and forth. Always in that order.

Or walking beside me and Yuigahama, her fingers elegantly holding the strap of her school bag. Or her many ticks: flicking her hair off the shoulder, touching her chin when thinking, massaging her temples when she really wanted to underline the exhaustingly high level of stupidity occurring before her eyes.

Small in numbers as they were for now, also appreciated were the moments of her curling up on a soft surface and tilting her head on the side to silently watch something. Or stretching after a long day, arching her back _like so_ , raising her hands and interlocking fingers.

The most recent items in my precious collection of Things Yuki Did was slowly wake up from her slumber, awoken by our phones' alarm clocks, reach for hers and turn it off. Hiding back under the blanket was optional.

She would then rise up and do that oh-so-enticing back arching, maybe politely yawn into her palm and say something nice, like-

"Ow. Ow. Owowow. Ow."

Well…

Even if "Her Morning Awakening" now had a second version hereby dubbed "Her Morning Awakening When Thoroughly Beat at Work the Day Before", watching her still was a heavenly pleasure I wasn't going to share with anyone.

"Ow-owie-ow." Yuki meanwhile continued slowly fighting her body. After finally standing up she made several additional stretches; I couldn't help but watch her lithe figure bend and flex.

Just as she was about to take her uniform Yuki suddenly turned to me. Her expression immediately morphed into a frown; only then I realised I was smiling. Seconds later, though, Yuki smiled too.

"Umm… Morning?" I carefully asked, my smile for whatever reason beginning to falter. "Why are you grinning at me?"

Yuki's smile became even wider.

"Oh, nothing much. I'm just anticipating _your_ awakening, is all."

"Very funny," I retorted. "Like hell I'm gonna give you a show. Watch- ow. Ow. Uggggh. Ow. Argh. I'm sorry I said that- ouch. You can use the bathroom first, I'll prepare breakfast- Owowow."

"Please do," Yuki nodded after having her giggle bout contained. "Don't forget to set the timer to exactly a minute 36 seconds. Not a second lower or higher. It's that exact timing when the bento's taste just _blossoms_ with flavors."

"Suuure."

Some time later, after going through our morning routines (shower did help with all the aching), finishing our meal in sleepy silence and sorting out the trash we both took out bags and headed for the exit. Just as I was about to unlock the door Yuki stopped me.

"One moment. Turn to me please."

Mildly surprised, I did as instructed. Yuki then proceeded to fixing the collar of my shirt.

"Wha?.."

"Oh…" Yuki stopped and looked at me timidly. "Do you mind?"

"Nah, just… kinda sudden."

"My apologies… I just wanted to. I shouldn't?.."

"… No. It's fine. Keep going."

"Alright."

For some time I just stood there while Yuki applied finishing touches to my clothes. Straighten the sleeve, affix it on my shoulders, sort out strands of my hair, check the shirt buttons… While surprising at first, this was definitely pleasant.

"And done."

"Thanks." I paused, then added: "My turn."

"Ah… oh. I never actually thought you'd return the favor." Yuki nevertheless lowered her hands and straightened her back, a touch apprehensively. I carefully reached for the collar of her blouse. Don't think it would ever need straightening, but still. Afterwards I checked her blazer, sleeves and buttons. Gently touching the fore strands of her hair I readjusted them, letting them flow in front of her shoulders.

"I just remembered," Yuki noted slightly fluttering her eyelids at my touches. "Grooming is what many animals do to each other, to show affection."

"Well, they probably know what they're doing… Done." Overwhelmed by a sudden wave of tenderness, I drew her closer and touched her forehead with mine, my palms on her cheeks.

"Thank you." She covered my hands with hers, still standing close. "It is quite pleasant after all. Can we do it more?"

"Every morning."

"Settled." She closed her eyes and gave me a brief kiss. "To school?"

"To school. Ready?"

"Why wouldn't I be- bike riding." She frowned while letting go of me, but then shook her head and flicked her hair off the shoulder. "I won't complain. Let's go."

* * *

I was already in the saddle; besides me Yuki had just hopped on hers, affixed her skirt and tied her hair in a ponytail. Seeing her nod I pushed the pedal. Off we go.

While Google-sensei did offer a short road, it was leading along the most obscure and narrow streets this side of Valentine-doori; definitely not a place to get lost on your way to school right after relocating. I had to settle for a longer but more convenient route, which I was now leading Yuki along.

First we turned left from our apartment parking, then once more left, crossing the Keisei train tracks. Early morning sun cast long shadows and warmed our backs as we traversed the still empty street south. Almost no one here: this block was mostly izakayas and liquor stores and those wouldn't open until some six or seven hours later. As the road sloped down I eased on the pedals, letting the bike ride on its own and enjoying the pleasant relaxing feeling in my legs.

Convex mirrors on the road crossings showed Yuki following close; I kept looking in my bike's own mirror every hundred meters or so. She was holding on, steady and concentrated, looking at me for directions.

A flock of doves were the only inhabitants of a tiny park at a triangle crossing we were passing by; here two smaller roads merged into a bigger one. Next up should be a taller building which marked a crossing we had to turn left at. As if on cue, there it was: a big grey box with "Honmachi Central Building" plaque on it. Right besides was the crossing in question. I checked the sign beneath the traffic light hanging in the middle of it; should be "Honmachi 1-Chome" and indeed it was. Still on the right track.

After waiting for our light I outstretched my left hand, signaling a turn for Yuki.

For now, all we had to do was just ride on for quite some time till we crossed Ebi river. This now required some more pedalling. So it went in a steady pattern now: me pushing pedals and checking Yuki every half a minute or so. She was still there; even if tired, it didn't show yet.

Banks, bus stops, small offices, even smaller shops. Elderly waiting for their buses, students in various uniforms doing the same, occasionally someone walking a dog or jogging. I think I spotted familiar plaits and black blazers or our school; for a brief moment I wondered what their reaction would be.

The district was mostly quiet save for the distant noise from Keiyo toll road nearby. The sun sometimes shone through gaps in the buildings, not yet bright but painting everything reddish-orange. I kept pedalling, thinking about nothing in particular, maneuvering between pedestrians and letting buses pass. It all was on autopilot for me; I wasn't even that tired yet. Yet it wasn't quite like my lonely rides to school. Partly because everything was new and unknown and my mind couldn't help but notice all the details: shops' signs, covers over the sidewalks, parked cars with Funabashi plates unlike Chiba ones I was used to; it all kept me _aware_ , unable to be distracted left to my thoughts.

Ebi river bridge came and went; for some time we rode along the same Keisei line tracks. The route became less exciting and more, weird as it sounded, usual, what with it being a straight line up to Makuhari.

Around halfway I decided to stop and take a short break for Yuki's sake. She frowned, but didn't say anything. Feigning a brave front, wasn't she: it was clearly obvious she was out of breath, and her legs were slightly trembling as she climbed back on her bike.

A bridge across Hanamigawa came into view and I couldn't help but sigh in relief at seeing familiar places. A brief look at Yuki soured the mood quite a bit: she clearly and obviously was out of breath this time. I signalled her to stop.

"What… is it?" She had to take pauses between words now. "I'm fi… fine, it's less… than a kilometer to school now… phew…"

"Actually closer to two and a half," I replied looking around me absentmindedly. "That's around halfway from my home."

"Oh…" Yuki's breath evened. "So you follow the river normally."

"Yep."

Silence fell. I finally remembered a bottle of water I took just in case.

"Here."

"Thank you… Let me drink just a bit," Yuki gratefully took the bottle and drank it. All of it. The whole 750ml mineral water bottle in almost literally one gulp, squeezing everything out of it like it was the last water bottle in the desert. After shaking it for the last droplets Yuki opened her eyes, lowered the bottle and stared at in some weird mix of tired disbelief.

"I… didn't even notice," She noted in mild wonder. "Of course I technically know that exercise requires water… but you honestly are the first to make me so breathless, thirsty, wet and sore in the bottom in a long time."

…Ah.

…Oh.

…As Mom likes to say: holy moly.

All I could do was just stare at Yuki. She stared back, wondering what was wrong with me.

One, two, three, four, five…

Her expression finally started changing…

…six, seven, eight…

And was becoming gradually horrified…

…nine, ten-

"P-please forget what I said! And don't mention it to anyone! And stop laughing or I'll bite you! Goodness gracious…"

* * *

Much as I was fully embracing the feeling of awareness over the general unfamiliarity of the world around me, passing the school gate and parking our bikes was some sort of a switch that just went "flip" and made everything _normal_.

It was almost exactly the same feeling that hit me when I returned to school from that eventful weekend. I had went through consoling Yuki who was thrown away by her mother just like that, suddenly moved into a new apartment in an unfamiliar part of town, took a job for the first time in two years… and the whole school just didn't notice. Everyone duly entered, listened to lectures, went through PE classes, participated in clubs and finally left to have fun or go study. For me it felt like returning home after I had been abducted by aliens.

Walking to the entrance with Yuki, _my girlfriend_ Yuki, certainly didn't help matters. Not to mention this all was probably just as weird to her as it was to me. Thinking about that I inadvertently reached out for her hand only to touch it midway.

"I just thought I'd feel weird," She explained with a shy smile. "So you'd probably need some reassurance."

"Strange. I thought the same."

"Oh." She lifted my hand and gently kissed it. "No more hiding then. No more being afraid. Shall we?"

"Definitely-"

"You two! Hold it right there!" It was the least expected (and, to be frank, one of the least favorite) thing to be heard at the moment: Atsugi-sensei the PE teacher's harsh voice.

Startled, we both slowly and cautiously turned to the general direction of the voice, my palm still in Yuki's mid-kiss.

"What are you two doing?!"

"Ummm… Atsugi-sensei?" That was the only thing I managed to utter.

"'Atsugi-sensei' what? You're coming with me to the teachers' lounge now!"

* * *

"… that it directly violates the school regulation two paragraph seven: No romantic displays at the school ground. We are a prestigious school, and we have to both hold high standards of education and a strong code of conduct regarding our students. Those who graduate here are one of the finest people in our country and you, yes, you, Yukinoshita-san, should know that better than anyone. If our very own model student shows the despicable disgraceful behaviour, what example is she setting to everyone? Have you ever thought what burden you carry regarding to the student body?.."

From the foreign movies I saw I knew Westerners liked their reprimands short, expressive and sometimes colorful. People around here meanwhile preferred to speak the same lines over and over again, in that horrible casual monotone that was going to drive you insane so much you started apologizing immediately, just to make it stop.

An exquisite, refined torture every single inhabitant of our small cozy archipelago had to endure at least once in their lives.

From those three or four times I stayed at my part time jobs long enough to be reprimanded for something, I knew the best derived strategy was to just make a solemn face, stand still and say you words of apology with a bow in the end. There was no way to shorten it, no way to make it easier. All you could do was just compare it to a cold that will come and go away by itself while you can only mitigate the symptoms.

Which both me and my girlfriend were currently busy doing, with varying degrees of success. I say "varying" because whenever I shifted my eyes to check on Yuki, I was rewarded with a sight to behold: her right brow _twitching_ on her otherwise neutral face. Funny as it was it also meant good things: she wasn't experiencing a breakdown or a panic attack, just your usual normal irritation.

Finally Atsugi-sensei said "Do you understand?", to which we both bowed and replied with "my sincerest apologies" or something along the lines.

As I exited the teachers' lounge I couldn't help but sigh.

"I know what you want to say," Yuki replied to that while looking forward absentmindedly.

"Awww, thanks." After carefully looking around I briefly pet her head, to which she gladly squinted and leaned in. "Why was something this dumb in the school regulations anyway?"

"That is a good question," Yuki sighed, still under my palm. "Although definitely not the most extreme example as far as school regulations go."

"Still dumb."

"At first I wanted to say 'can't be helped' but," Yuki raised a finger to emphasize the point, "in truth it can be."

"How exactly?"

"By petitioning and applying administrative pressure," Yuki brightly smiled, that precious wide smile she showed when being confident.

"Yeah? Well, okay, maybe we can gather enough, I don't know, evidence romance doesn't get in the way of studying, or something, but what administrative pressure do we have?"

"You have, to be precise. Isshiki-san."

"Err… Why me?"

"You instated her as a student council president. You're responsible for who you've tamed, forever."

"… Are you still holding the grudge for that time?"

That made Yuki let go of my palm, rub her face with her fingers and take a long deep sigh.

"To tell you the truth… not really. Not that strongly. It's not like I wanted to be a student council president all _that_ much. But… Hachi." She was now looking at me with the expression most serious. "Please confirm one thing."

"Sure."

"As much as we've reiterated that: communicate with me."

"…That stings. Yeah, I promise."

"And for that I am grateful," she gently rubbed her nose on my shoulder. "Classes are starting. Though, I have to first find Yuigahama-san before she finds me."

"That sounded ominous."

She just shrugged and we headed to 2-F.

Yuki was precisely right: just at the entrance she was caught and fiercely hugged by a wild Yuigahama.

"Yukinon Yukinon Yukinooon! I missed you so much!"

"Well I can see that," Yuki, while visibly uncomfortable with the crushing hug, still managed to smile and hug her back. "I missed you too Yuigahama-san. What is with everyone trying to hug me recently?"

"Because you need it!" "You need it."

Yuki just looked at us both, shook her head and said nothing.

* * *

As it turned out, my general feeling of nothing having changed wasn't entirely correct.

And the key difference wasn't, oddly enough, stares, as I was used to those as of lately. And not even the fact I got as many stares from girls as I did from boys. I was used to that too.

The key difference was that girls' stares weren't filled with disgusted curiosity as per usual. No, they were… _evaluating_.

As if they had seen this particular Hachiman Hikigaya for the first time in their lives and didn't feel or know the whole thought bundle that usually appeared along with him. "Ugly", "creep", "weirdo", "loner", the usual bunch. No, there was something in their stares I've never seen before… when directed to me, that is. That something was usually reserved to Hayama, or sports club aces, or at least other male students pretty enough to garner attention.

But not to me.

What changed? No, that's the wrong question, because it was obvious exactly what changed. I mean, if that cursed photo didn't clue someone in, me and Yuki being dragged by Atsugi-sensei into teachers' lounge to be loudly roasted first thing in the morning should convince them.

So, the right question would be… let's see…

Why did it start when it was revealed me and Yuki were dating?

Really though, what's the point? If they seriously planned to make moves on me (my inner voice hideously giggled at the idea), why would they do it now that it's already established I have a girlfriend? And even if they didn't know, they at least should _suspect_ Yuki would effortlessly prevent them from even trying (not to mention I'd gleefully watch that).

Questions, questions.

Riddled and, frankly, mildly annoyed, I spent the rest of today's classes without anything of note happening to me.

The final bell rang. Club activity time.

* * *

"Hey. Going?"

"Yeah."

Accompanied by the brightly smiling Yuigahama I now walked the usual road to the clubroom.

"Anything happened?" I decided to break the silence first.

"Hmmm… not much. Hayato and Yumiko aren't speaking though. I mean, she tries but he's just gloomy all the time."

"Figures. Miura'll probably come to the club later."

"About Hayato." Yuigahama briefly laughed. "This is getting repetitive."

"You don't say," I snorted, then glanced at her. "You… don't get caught in the crossfire over this, right?"

"I'm better than that." Yuigahama sighed at me. "Talked to Yukinon today already in fact. See? No one's hurt."

"Good to hear. So you've already talked?"

"Yep. Yukinon told me everything. And about you implying I'm a klutz too." She lightly bumped her bag at my side. "Meeaniie."

"Whatever," I scoffed. "How's… how's it going between you two now? No… Hm… How does she feel to you now?"

"Why are you asking me about it? You're the one living with her now."

"Uhhh… Yeah. That too."

Yuigahama sighed once more.

"Worried about how I react?" She pouted at me. "I'm telling you I'm _fine_. I did a lot of thinking too you know. About us. About the club. About you and Yukinon… Can I tell something?"

"Go on?" I looked at her in suspicion.

"I was actually ashamed at what I did in the park." Yuigahama turned away from me and lowered her eyes. "Telling I wanted everything and stuff. That I wanted to have you and Yukinon. That I used the fact she was at her lowest."

She fell silent for some time.

"I thought you going out with Yukinon was, like, a punishment or something."

"We're not-"

"I know, I know. I said I just thought that, okay? So I confessed to Yukinon about it all some time afterwards." Yuigahama guiltily smiled and fiddled with a strand of her hair. "She said there was nothing to be guilty about. She said something like 'we were all not ourselves' or something. So nah, I'm fine. You're worrying about it more than I do."

"Alright then," I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. "Less worry for me."

"Yukinon too." Yuigahama touched her hair bun shyly. "Like, I'm that much precious to you… still so weird to know that."

"You are."

"Stop it. I'll fall in love with you all over again…"

 _"I could make a harem, I guess."_ For the briefest moment a vivid image flashed before my eyes: us three; this new and confident Yuigahama; this new and experienced Yuki; this new and (hopefully) smarter me; showing affection to them both; taking them for a date, maybe one by one or maybe both at once; feeling their care; enjoying them caring for each other, what with Yuigahama being so touchy-feely all the time; dealing with problems together…

The image was gone just as it appeared. After all, it was every man's dream to have two cute girls for him.

It also was every man's responsibility to tell the reality from the fantasy. And that reality indeed would be three broken hearts out of three because reality didn't work that way.

That was a really nice heartwarming image. Now I had to let it go. Maybe in another life, in another time.

Here and now I had Yuki and Yuki was more than I could ever ask for.

Sighing and shaking head at myself I followed Yuigahama to our clubroom's door.

* * *

Isshiki was already there sipping the tea Yuki had prepared for her. By the window, Yuki smiled and nodded to us, then proceeded to fill our respective cups.

"Hey there, Senpai, Yui-senpai."

"Yahallo, Iroha-chan." Was it me or did Yuigahama sound weary through that radiated cheerfulness? "Checking on Hikki and Yukinon?"

"Most definitely," Yuki nodded while delivering our cups to us; Isshiki barely had time to open her mouth after making a perfect offended pout.

"Transparent, are you." I nonchalantly noted after taking my seat.

"Wh-who do you think I am?" Isshiki finally managed to ask, still pouting and huddled over the teacup, the very image of a deeply offended innocent maiden.

"A nosy, yet naive and simplistic kouhai," I offered my observations; why not have some fun then. "You still have a ways to go. Haruno-san has a lot to teach you."

"Geh. No need. I'll be fine, thanks." Her face now showed unadulterated fear. Seconds later, though, it changed to a curious look. "So are you and Yukinoshita-senpai dating?"

Me, Yuki and Yuigahama just sighed in unison. When she wasn't being sly, she was so openly impudent it almost was cute.

Almost.

"So we are," I finally replied with a lazy shrug. "Why?"

"Eh?.. Just like that- I mean congratulations! You look nice together and stuff."

"You don't have to overexert yourself for our sake," Yuki phlegmatically noted while taking a gulp from her cup, her eyes never even leaving the page she was reading before.

"I'm honeeest!"

"We believe you." I made as serious a nod as I possibly could. "You can now focus on Hayama."

"Awww." Isshiki covered her face with the sleeve of her blazer. "I still want to rely on you, Senpai. Will you… let me? P-please?.."

There she went with fluttering eyes and batting eyelashes again.

"I promise I'll be good-"

"Isshiki-san."

"-y-yes?" She carefully turned her back to Yuki, her face most innocent and pious. Yuki meanwhile leisurely tilted her head, gave her an aside look, tucked a strand of her hair behind her elegant ear and with a slight upturn of the lips in a tone most serene she said:

"Hisssss."

"Eeek!" Not sure how it was possible but Isshiki actually _jumped_ twenty centimeters or so into the air. "Senpai, Yukinoshita-senpai is scaring me!"

"As she's supposed to." I made an all-knowing nod again. Let's keep the fine comedy, shall we?

"Ah?!" Isshiki gasped. "You're abandoning me?"

Serves you for openly using me as a test site for tricks to woo Hayama. And abusing your charms to make me work. And generally being as _un-_ genuine as it gets.

An annoying little sister was all I could see in you.

"I'm not. I'm just siding with Yukinoshita."

"Hmmm…" Isshiki squinted. "What, already whipped?"

"Ummm…" I looked at Yuki. "It's one of those phrases where you're damned no matter you reply?"

"Absolutely," Yuki nodded nonchalantly.

"Then I'll keep quiet."

"Totally whipped."

"Isshiki-saaaan…" Yuki's voice was practically dripping with poisonous smarminess.

"Eek!"

That made me chuckle.

"I think this much is enough. Gotta practice moderation in scaring our precious administrative resource. _My_ administrative resource, to be precise."

"Wh-what administrative resource?" Isshiki quickly pouted at me. "What are you implying?"

"Well," I made a practiced evil face, a fearful remnant of my chuunibyou days. "Remember who made you who you are, little one."

"…Eh? What's with this chuunibyou stuff?"

"It's still half a year till the next elections. So I'd have to wait before I could instate someone more convenient like… let's see," I made an overexaggerated thinking gesture, "my own little sister? Bubbly, likable, absolutely adorable and able to charm anyone she meets. An absolute champion of the school people."

"…What?"

"Everyone will forget about you instantly. You'll become…" I made a (hopefully) cleverly measured dramatic silence.

"What? Become what?" Anxiety started breaking through the annoyed disgust in Isshiki's voice.

In response I sent her a heavy glare and replied:

" _Ordinary_." I tried to sound deeper to convey all the abysmal horror of the prospect. Isshiki's face showed me I made the right choice of a threat.

"Iroha-chan, they're at it again." Yuigahama, with her chin propped on her palm and taking her eyes off the phone in another hand, expressively looked at Isshiki. "It's like a two-wrestler team or something. A… what's it called again… Dynamic Duo?"

"… Huh." I raised my brows at that. "Hiratsuka-sensei I can somewhat get behind, and now you too?"

"Well, I'm into it, just…What?" Yuigahama now looked at me full alert and pouting furiously. "What?!"

"Erm… nothing?" Somehow I ended up on the defensive. Wonder why. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. Seriously though, talk to Sensei. She'd be overjoyed."

"Oh." Yuigahama shrugged. "I guess."

"Ah, that's what the origin of the term is," Yuki pondered. "I only learned about it in passing when someone made a mention of that old series about paranormal investigators… You and Yuigahama-san are right though. I start thinking I should revert back to my old ways perhaps. That is, composing a comprehensive three page essay about the persons' flaws… Yes, that I probably will."

With that Yuki nodded to herself and went back to reading.

"Hmmm… Senpai?" Isshiki caught on a new topic opportunity. "Your sister is enrolling this year?"

"Yeah. You'll like her. She's nothing like me. Seriously."

"Heeh…" Isshiki pondered for some time. "Looking forward then… and all. I think I should go now."

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to stay for a while," Yuki stopped her, "before Miura-san approaches us. It would concern you both."

"Eh? You have an appointment?"

"No. But I'm confident she'll come."

"She will," I nodded after seeing Isshiki's questioning look directed at me.

"For sure," Yuigahama did the same when looked at next.

"Huh."

"W-well, that and she already texted me asking if we're assembled," Yuigahama smiled sheepishly.

"Alright…" Isshiki looked at Yuki suspiciously but otherwise didn't object.

Silence fell for some time. I made myself comfortable on my chair, fully resolved on enjoying what little time we now had together.

After all, we had a grocery store to visit and our part-time jobs to work in the evening now.

* * *

Not some twenty minutes later we heard an impatient knock.

"Come in," Yuki replied.

The door slid open and revealed us Miura, frowning and moody.

"Yo. Got a request."

"Good afternoon, Miura-san. We're listening to your request on what to do about Hayato Hayama." While saying this Yuki didn't let on even a tiniest sign of sarcasm. Quite the contrary, she was fully polite and ready to serve our new customer. Which made the desired effect even more pronounced.

"Bwuh… wh…" It took several seconds for Miura to subdue her surprise and cringe. "Smartass… Yeah, it's about him. Doesn't wanna talk, doesn't wanna listen. Lashes at me and even Hina all the frigging time. At least he's cool with Yui and the boys so there's that. Y'know what it's all about, doncha?"

She fell silent, looking aside and twitching the hem of her skirt.

"So… yeah. How do I bring us all back?"

"First of all, why don't sit down then?" Yuki offered, then stood up and went for her teapot.

Well, it all was obvious, even to Miura. Hayama was plain heartbroken and, I could tell with a great deal of confidence, having a lot of mixed feelings because he most probably acted out on his promise to tell on us. I somehow had the gut feeling he would. There was no concrete evidence of course (and, frankly, I would feel better if there wasn't), but still.

And now us the volunteer service club would somehow piece back together his clique falling apart. Again.

All because their leader had made a stupid decision about a matter they weren't involved in or wouldn't even know anything about.

I looked at Yuki and Yuigahama. The latter's face showed understanding, but also some sort of a subtle pleading directed at me. I knew exactly what she meant, but this wasn't going to be like before. Not anymore.

Just as Yumiko Miura put her clique above else, so now would I regarding our club. And if that meant Miura or Hayama were in for some bitter pills, then so be it.

Yuki's eyes meanwhile showed… confident resolve? As if she had solved some hard puzzle and was about to tell us the solution.

I always knew Yuki was indeed a smart and capable person. It just so happened that all the solutions were provided by me, a fact in life both girls had accepted and even expected from me. Which I… let's say… didn't mind. Weird as it was for me to admit it, being relied on actually wasn't half bad.

Even if the side effect was that Yuki would over-rely on me.

But now she, it seemed, was about to propose something.

"Hikigaya-kun," she addressed me seeing I looked at her. "I know we both mostly relied on you… even when we shouldn't have. This time I want to lead the case, so to speak, by myself."

Suddenly I felt my lips upturning on their own. I wasn't actually sure what Yuki would do, but seeing her being _confident_ for a change was so nice.

"Yeah. Go on."

"Thank you," she smiled back. "Then… Miura-san or Yuigahama-san, if you please, summon Hayama-kun here."

"Eh?! Like, n-now?" Miura was visibly startled.

"Precisely. I have been anticipating and thinking about it for several days already. Now I am solving it all my way. Certainly Hikigaya-kun's twisted solutions are quite entertaining for everyone, not to mention _scarily_ effective… but there are some undesirable side effects. I am trying a different way. So, please."

Miura glared at Yukinoshita for a couple seconds, then reluctantly nodded as Yuigahama took out her phone.

"Alright. But it better be good, ya hear me?"

Yuki just politely smiled.

Five minutes later (mind you, a fast walk from the soccer field) we heard a careful knocking.

"Come in."

If Hayama was even slightly surprised by the attendees of the clubroom today he didn't show it.

"Good afternoon everyone." He greeted us in his usual polite manner, but then immediately frowned and looked at Yuigahama: "Yui?.. What's this all about? Why did you call me?"

Huh. So it's not just Haruno-san's beck and call, like it was back in winter. He really would just up and arrive at anyone's behest. Everyone's reliable Hayato Hayama, eh.

Remind me to never ever be like that.

"It was me who wanted you to come, Hayama-kun." Yuki now stood up, walked to the window and huddled by the sill, crossing hands on her chest. She looked nervous, but determined.

"… Eh?"

"In this clubroom we have Miura-san, Isshiki-san and you gathered and you probably can guess what it's all about."

"Yumiko?.." His face momentarily showed anger but he quickly composed himself. "Did you?.."

"Yes she did. And please don't start blaming her. Her request was rather expected. So much so that lately I have a feeling we're not Volunteer Service Club but rather Hayato Hayama's Group Support Club. Which is quite annoying in several ways but I would like to talk about other topics today."

She let her hands loose, straightened up and looked in the eyes of all three people in question.

"Among the things being in our club had taught me is that the requester's question is not always the right one they should ask. In this particular case, Miura-san's request was bring your group back. Problem is, you can't just"bring back" a group of friends or acquaintances after some events had taken place. Specifically, when members of your group fall in love or get rejected. It won't ever be the same anymore. The three of us, in this very club, know this better than anyone."

Hayama wanted to ask something but Yuki raised her hand.

"Not yet. Let me finish. What was I at again?.. Oh. What you should do in this case is not"bring back" the old group because at this point the group you know ceases to exist, for the damage is irrevocable. What you do is form your group anew. Form connections, develop friendships; everything. Which some members will accept, while some will leave. What's most important, you can't and shouldn't force anyone. And as for forcing anyone… Hayama-kun."

"Yes?" he looked at her apprehensively.

"You had the means and motives to tell on us to my family. You didn't: I know this because it was specifically Sister who did and no one even hid the fact. I honestly, without any sort of sarcasm, thank you for that and commend the fact you didn't act on impulse."

"I-I'm sorry I-… Sorry." Hayama tried to frantically justify himself.

"I accept it. There is a difference between an intention and an action. I know that from experience." Yuki lowered her head, as if heavy with unpleasant thoughts. "But," she raised her head again, "I also want to make one fact clear."

With that she fully turned to Hayama and looked him in the eyes with a stern expression.

"I won't go out with you. Or marry you for that matter."

That last sentence earned a bewildered look from Miura. Yuki meanwhile kept on:

"Contrary to popular belief Hikigaya-kun never forced or coerced me into relationship. And even if I, god forbid, had to part ways with him, I still wouldn't go out with you. We won't be the pirate twins again, Hayama-kun. Do you understand that? It would take some time to accept but right here, right now, do you _understand_?"

All sorts of emotions came and went on Hayama's face: anger, jealousy, hatred; for a second I thought his face would twist into a crying mess but it didn't; finally what was left was a face showing a desperate, overwhelming sadness.

Yuki decided to deliver the final blow in the most straightforward and direct way; the side effect of it was substantial amount of pain. Her face meanwhile stayed stern, but not steadily stern. Rather, she was making an effort to make it so.

All in a true Yuki fashion.

"… Yes," Hayama finally uttered. "I understand."

"Thank you," Yuki exhaled, relief now showing on her face. "I wouldn't ask for more. Not to be needlessly cruel, but I do believe the clean cut heals the fastest… and this one is important in another way. When you're done dealing with grief, please. Take a look at these two. Or any other girl in school. Or outside of school. Anywhere."

"That's it?" Miura suddenly interjected. "That's your advice? Just to deal with it?"

"Not exactly."

"'Not exactly' my ass. Cause it sure looks like that to me-"

"Miura-san," Yuki's look suddenly because heavier and colder as she herself huddled once again, "there is actually another rule of our club: we don't provide the fish, we teach you how to go fishing yourself. Do you think I'm asking you to deal with it? From a certain point of view yes, I do."

She walked from the window, to the blackboard.

"Your own feelings are yours to sort. No human being can do it for you. You can request some emotional support from Yuigahama-san, or Ebina-san. For that matter you can ask them for advice on some specifics: once again, Yuigahama-san knows plenty. But, ultimately, you do it yourself."

Miura just pursed her lips angrily.

"Another thousand words just to say 'deal with it'? Wish I didn't come here after all." She looked at Yuki, with tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "It's my group you talk about, you haughty rich… pampered… p-princess…"

"You make it sound like I was surrounded by dear friends all my life," Yuki countered. "I was entirely alone before I met Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san. Though, personally, I think it was worth it."

"So what? Throw my friends away because there are some, like, better friends further in life? Just like that?"

At this point she was already crying. Yuki sighed.

"When me and Hikigaya-kun told Yuigahama-san we were dating, she ran away in tears."

"Oh I remember that." Miura angrily snorted through her sniffling bouts.

"And I thank you for being there with her." Yuki briefly bowed. "Because we couldn't."

"Eh?.." Miura clearly wasn't ready for the apology. "Wh-y-yeah… you're welcome."

"Me and Hikigaya-kun…" Yuki cotinued after nodding to herself. "We were prepared to wait for _weeks_ before she would talk to us again. It was a pure miracle it happened sooner. But otherwise… we had to _trust_ her on reaching out to us again. Can you do it? Can everyone in your group do it?"

"Huh?.. What are you getting at?"

"And if not, if you come to us every time you have a slightest sign of trouble…" Yuki's eyes now showed irritation. "Is your group even worth keeping?"

"It is!" Miura suddenly shouted. "I don't care if we're shallow or whatever. They're all I have!"

"Then my advice is wait for Hayama-kun to come back to your group. As he's the only one being torn away, in fact."

Not sure if Yuki meant it that way, but that was the last straw that made Miura just give up on saying anything and just quietly sob. Seeing this Yuki heavily wiped her face with a palm and sighed.

"I did it again… Miura-san, I'm-"

"Buzz off."

Yuki just solemnly returned to the blackboard.

"Yukino-ch… Yukinoshita-san, why are you always like that?" Hayama decided to ask, still looking dejected.

"I didn't mean it to induce tears…" Yuki closed her eyes with a pained expression. "It is precisely the sort of a consequence one has to be prepared for. Not quite unlike with Hikigaya-kun and Tsurumi-san back then though… But now that you say it, honestly… I'm tired of you both running to us for every little problem you have. How come we three weirdoes deal with those better than you _normal_ people? Not to mention Hikigaya-kun would creatively put himself in the line of fire _for the umpteenth time_ and I'm also tired of that. He's precious to me. Period."

"… You still didn't have to be such a jerk about it," Miura mumbled.

"Yumiko…" Yuigahama carefully approached her and have a sideways hug. "Yukinon didn't really mean it that way. She's just too blunt normally. You really have to see past that to get to know her."

"As if I care." Miura's sobs gradually subsided by this point; now she just kept sniffling now and then.

"Like, you know, her and Hikki sometimes just… no, not like that. They still were waiting for me even after those jerks beat them both up. And back then I decided I'll be there for them too. But you're also precious to me, Yumiko, so I'll be there for you too… Does it make sense?"

"Yeah…"Miura sniffled one last time, then smiled to her. "Kinda. Thanks, Yui. I'll wait for Hayato."

Hayama smiled sheepishly.

"Uh, s-sorry-"

"Hayato, quiet." "Hayato-kun, hush."

"Eh?.."

"No one asked _you_." Miura carefully let go of Yuigahama, wiped the last her tears and confidently stood up. "I'll wait for you. But you still owe me an explanation about that 'marry' thingie… An' that 'telling on them' thingie too for that matter."

"Eh…" Hayama looked at her and immediately shrank back. "Yes. I'll… do that."

"You'd better." Miura went for the door, but just before opening it she half-turned to us. "… Guess I did the right thing by coming here after all. Yukinoshita, you're still a jerk but… thanks."

"Anytime, Miura-san."

"Yeah, no. Hayato! We're going!"

* * *

"U-umm… Yukinoshita-senpai?" Isshiki decided to remind of her existence as both Miura and Hayama left. "That was kinda… too harsh?"

"Sorry for that," Yuki looked at us, then briefly hugged herself and propped against the blackboard. "I almost forgot how hard it is. Is it always like that for you, Hikigaya-kun?.."

"Yeah, well… I'm used to it."

"So you say…" Yuki massaged her neck and stood straight. "I'm planning to wrap it for today. Yuigahama-san, Isshiki-san, you may stay if you desire. Just don't forget to lock the door and take the key to the teachers' lounge."

"Oh? Something happened?" Isshiki looked at us with mild interest.

After exchanging looks with Yuki I decided to reply:

"Time sale."

* * *

"That bit about pirate twins," I mused as we were approaching the bike stand hand in hand. "Lemme guess, an old English band called?.."

"Thomas Dolby and he's not a band." Yuki finally put her face off my shoulder she had been in for some time just prior and stretched; she still was tired from the talk in the clubroom.

"Right. I think I even remember the name. Probably among Dad's CDs. Kinda old… So yeah. What's the deal with this? You promised."

"Ah, that." Yuki tapped the tip of her nose. "Just something I had picked up when studying in the US. You see, most music I listened to or played at the time was classical or jazz. And there were so many good jazz stations back there. For the time I felt so happy I didn't even feel any homesickness."

"Hm." I briefly smiled. "Probably were homesick as hell, knowing you."

"Indeed. Some time later I overheard someone in class discussing a nice internet radio, apparently broadcasting from some garage right there in San Francisco, so I gave it a try. And it just had a newly opened substation specializing on the English music from the eighties. For whatever reason that hooked me the most. Weirdly, it was those songs that… _spoke_ to me. I suspect it has something to do with us and them both small island empires."

She looked far away with dreamy eyes, but then hung her head.

"The only problem was I couldn't even discuss it with anyone. A weird Japanese girl with weird high class manners suddenly wanting to discuss English new wave twice older than herself… That would surely raise a lot of brows. For that matter a high class model student discussing a music half her classmates don't even comprehend properly would be equally weird. And as for my family…"

Yuki's face darkened.

"They didn't take it well?" I carefully asked while stroking her hand.

"Rather I didn't even bother trying. So… well… here I am. Nowhere Girl, listening to the music even adults have given up on."

"Fine by me." I shrugged. "It's not like I can discuss Shione Yukawa or Momoko Kikuchi with anyone either. Maybe I'll even get you to listen to it… and listen to yours, of course."

"You'll have to properly learn English for that first."

"Deal," I squeezed her hand and felt her gently squeeze it back. "I'm really glad you shared."

* * *

Carefully propping Mom's cookbook behind the sink I rechecked the ingredients: a vacuum-sealed pack of pork cheek my side still reminded me of (damn those housewives and their sharp elbows), followed by potatoes, a large carrot, two heads of onions, garlic, shiitake mushrooms and finally edamame beans. In a small box on the microwave, by the rice cooker, now resided a pack of dashi powder, a bottle of mirin and a box of sugar.

There was an unspoken question as to who was cooking tonight. The question just shut up and disappeared when I took one look at Yuki after we returned (well, heroically shuffled) home tonight; thus I informed her I was cooking dinner, to which I got a guilty nod and a tired promise to cook next time.

So here I was deciphering Mom's handwriting at one of the first pages, specifically one marked "Nikujaga", with "easy" scribbled below the title. Well, if you say so Mom. Going in blind here.

Of course I knew what nikujaga was. Ever since childhood, a plate of soft potatoes and fall-apart tender meat filled with the teasing flavors of soy sauce, sugar and whatever else Mom put into there always made me drool with anticipation. Filling my stomach and warming my very soul, it was something to crave for in the long Winter evenings.

Now, all these years later, I was going to cook it for my dead-tired girlfriend.

Hopefully.

What is with this anxiety again?

Reviewing the recipe I once more tried to calm down. It was just to thinly slice the meat (the recipe specifically said both beef and pork would be fine), stir-fry it with sugar, make a broth to simmer everything, add the rest, stir and let simmer until ready. Simple, right?

Taking the knife Mom gave me I cut open the meat.

The recipe said "cut thinly". Just how thinly though… Rummaging through my memory resurfaced the images of Mom's dish and the meat was, what, three millimeters thin? Well, let's go with that.

Wait, how much meat should I slice? The pack said "500g" and had two nearly identical pieces. The recipe called for twice more but was supposed to be for a 4 member family's dinner plus storing the leftovers for the next day. For me and Yuki this probably translated into "a potful of nikujaga for the weekend". Probably. Anyway, Mom's starting pages stated the opened raw meat wouldn't last that long. In it all went then.

After slicing all the chunks into thin strips (hopefully thin enough) I reached for the potatoes only to remember in time to wipe the knife. The latter was underlined thrice in Mom's book. Apparently it was important.

After finishing the potatoes and onions and proceeding to the carrots it dawned on me that I could already start frying the meat. After standing there frozen for a minute with my knife half-raised I concluded I probably couldn't do cutting and stir-frying at once, at least yet. How does one learn to do it? Don't tell me people just practice while dealing with burnt pieces and whatnot. I inwardly sighed.

Okay, everything was prepared. After another inward sigh I turned the gas on, put the pan and started waiting till it was hot enough. Apparently the indication was supposed to be the heat I could feel with my palm some 30 centimeters up. I poured the probably right amount of oil, sifted two spoonfuls of sugar and tossed it with my cooking chopsticks. Afterwards I carefully added in the meat and started stirring the sizzling and slowly browning mass.

The cookbook said the meat was supposed to turn light brown, which it did… probably. How brown? Well, the meat was also supposed to be simmered with the vegetables for some time, so maybe it would cook enough? After transferring the meat to a plate I added dashi powder, then mirin and soy sauce, stirred it and tossed in the vegetables. If the cookbook was to be believed all was left to do was to stir it to let everything soak in the broth and leave alone for about 40 minutes.

After giving it a stir, then another one just to be sure, I covered the pan with the lid and started watching it. Then I found myself walking around our kitchenette like a wild beast in a cage, anxious and restless.

"Hachi."

"Hm?" I turned to Yuki who was cozily curled up beside our kotatsu, now clad in a shirt and frilly shorts and looking at me over her knees.

"I don't know exactly what you're doing, but at this stage it's most probably simmering. You can't speed it up." She expressively sighed. "Go take a shower."

"A-are you sure?"

"At this rate it would take around an hour for all the liquid to evaporate and the contents to start burning. You have plenty of time."

"… If you say so."

By the time I exited the shower, I already was feeling the familiar smell. The aroma of soy sauce and onions to the nice smell of meat mixing in. Worried so as not to overcook it I immediately headed to the pan and poked everything with a chopstick; nope, not ready yet. Calming down I looked around and was immediately rewarded with a sight of Yuki subtly but very actively sniffing the air.

"Smells good much?"

"That it does." Yuki smiled and took my Vita she seemingly had put away moments before. "Maybe twenty minutes more. Come here, Chef-san."

"Mhm." I obliged and sat beside her. Yuki was still playing Project Diva except she wasn't clearing the songs right now. In fact, she was…

…

… in the Miku Room.

Which Yuki was decorating with all the stuff she was rewarded with for clearing the songs. Quite a bunch of stuff in fact.

"I'm afraid to ask…" I slowly started after having fully comprehended what I just saw "Have you had any dolls or dollhouses as a kid? And is there some sob story involving your sister?"

"Yes and yes." Yuki sighed. "Am I becoming predictable to you?"

"Well…" I shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Oh."

Some time later I took a considerable effort to separate myself from Yuki's shoulder and go turn off the gas.

Nikujaga was ready. I put two plates on the kotatsu, Yuki dutifully kneeling on the other side and looking at me with anticipation.

"…You can dig in… I guess."

"Well then," Yuki took a fork, "Thanks for the food."

I watched apprehensively as she took a bite of the potato, then a slice of meat, then onion mixture…

"Yummmmyyyyy." She deadpanned seeing my anxiety. "Or at least that's what they say at the cooking shows."

"You watch those?"

"No, but Yuigahama-san does."

"Huh. Seriously though…"

"It's good."

"Ah. T-Thanks. I think I've cooked enough to last us the whole weekend."

"My, that's lovely." Yuki briefly laughed while covering her mouth with a hand. "A good practice since we'd have to pack our bentos to school."

"Yeah. Hey, tomorrow's Saturday, right?"

"Correct."

"So no waking up at five. Yaaay."

"Indeed. Now sit down and eat already."

The rest of the evening went by quickly; I barely remembered cleaning up the kitchen, laying out our futons and climbing into them after turning off the lights.

The room fell dark and silent; only distant noise from outside could be heard. As I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take over I heard Yuki turn.

"Hachi?.. Are you asleep yet?" she quietly asked.

"Mm… Nah," I slowly replied, turning on my back. "Can't sleep?"

"More like… pondering. I know it's the weirdest question to ask at night…"

"Go on?.." I shrugged to no one in particular.

"What would you do with that request?"

I blinked, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Idunno. Forcibly remove Hayama from their group so everyone else would remain happy and friendly?"

"After several days of procrastination of course," Yuki slowly laughed, evidently fighting drowsiness. "While I admit I never thought of that, I find your solution, how do I put it, unsurprising. I think I started figuring out your thought patterns."

"Huh. Damn. I've lost the edge then," I mock-frowned, forgetting she wouldn't see it.

"I don't think I'd accept it though." Yuki meanwhile sleepily kept on. "They'd think you were the evil again. That was part of my motivation."

"Part?" I turned my head to look at Yuki and saw her looking back.

"The other part was that I realised one important thing." She squinted while stifling a yawn. "And what a laughably obvious one it was."

"Hm?"

"That there are different approaches and solutions beside those feisty ones of yours. And that I could utilize them and still achieve the same result. Idiotic, isn't it? It took me so much time to realize I am what I am."

"It's not."

"Really now?.. I have to learn to propose direct solutions anew… if that makes sense."

"Yep." I turned to her and yawned. "It does."

"And compete with you."

"I'm not proposing them to compete," I sleepily countered, then frowned: "Well… Fine. Maybe I was at first."

"Depends on how you stretch your 'at first'."

"Besides I suck at those anyway," I skillfully switched the topic. "Like that time with Rumi-Rumi."

"Rumi-Ru… No, I'm not going to be jealous of a twelve year old. This is below me." Yuki grabbed my hand and gently bit it. "I actually gave it some thought over time. Over and over again. 'What could we have done better?'."

"… And?"

"And there's nothing. One girl you barely know, her class that's determined to take her down and three days to sort it all out. No one could do better."

"Still sucked though."

Yuki caressed my hand she was still holding.

"If you don't mind another piece of laughably obvious wisdom which I've been mulling about all this time too… We do things no one else does. Granted, we don't really succeed sometimes, but everyone else just stands on the side and judges."

"Kinda… what about some of our actions doing more harm than good?"

"You can't evade that. Everyone else doesn't make mistakes because they don't do anything at all."

It was my turn to laugh.

"What kinda therapeutic pillow talk is that?" I carefully reached for Yuki's cheek and stroked it. "I thought that was something I'd say. So what you're saying then? Keep doing it?"

"Correct."

"I'll give it a thought." I let go of her and stretched. "Good night."

"Have a good night, Hachi."

I just closed my eyes and let the now familiar comfort of our home lull me into slumber. In a still new apartment, amongst the unfamiliar noise, beside my sleeping girlfriend, I realized I felt most comfortable.

Let it be so then.

 _A/N: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive~. Just because I said 'endgame' doesn't mean it's ending right away. I have *checks his notes* three more chapters._

 _I'd also want to apologize for slow writing: unfortunately, I write as I write. I can't speed it up. I tried. I can't. It turns out shit. So please, bear with me._


	10. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8. Is Cutting off all Communication Also a Form of Communication?**

"Hachi." Squish, squish, squish, squish; at steady intervals, with measured force, evenly, continuously. My shoulders, my back, then my shoulders again.

Is morning awakening via being kneaded at a good thing?

"Hachi!z Hachihachihachi!"

Is morning awakening via being kneaded at by your girlfriend, still in her nightgown and calling you repeatedly for additional silliness, a good thing?

"Wha- stop! It's too cute, stop, stop or I'm gonna burst all over the apartment with all the cuteness." I managed to dodge the incoming doze of kneading and turned to her. "Someone's gonna have to clean that up."

"Oh." Yuki stopped and looked at me with her eyes teasingly squinted. "You've brought it up just in time."

I gave her a long and presumably hard stare.

"…Cleaning?.."

"It's Saturday, so yes, cleaning." Yuki didn't even bother pretending my stare had any weight.

"At…" I reached for my phone, flinching from the too bright screen. "At eight in the morning?"

"According to my accurate-as-always calculations," Yuki retorted smugly, straightening up and putting a hand on her chest, "you'd need precisely an hour and twenty seven minutes to wake up, wash yourself, have a breakfast and mentally prepare for the most horrible forty minutes of your week."

"I… Too many numbers." I tried to hide back under the blanket.

That was not a smart tactical move because the kneading resumed.

(Or maybe it was. Not that I would admit it.)

So, back to the initial question: is morning awakening via being kneaded at by your kind, sweet, uptight and punctual girlfriend to clean up the apartment a good thing?

"Fine…" My voice was becoming more steady as the last traces of sleep were going away. "Fine! I'll do it, woman. I'll do it."

"Yay." Yuki mirthfully deadpanned. "I'm using the bath and loading the washing machine with my batch first if you don't mind. Please warm up the leftovers."

"Roger."

After reaching for my phone and earplugs with a now well-trained motion I proceeded to the morning routine: folded my futon and stowed it in a storage shelf, got dressed and headed to our tiny fridge. Said fridge, among other things like bottled tea and small vegetable packs, now contained a pot of the nikujaga I'd prepared yesterday. For a second, a part of me worried it would turn into inedible mush overnight. It didn't of course. Measuring up a batch for us both, I then loaded it into our microwave and watched idly for it to stop.

Yuki, now looking fresh and dressed in an oversized sweater and a long comfy skirt, exited the bathroom just in time for me to prepare the dishes. The stew turned out even tastier than the night before.

As I exited the bathroom I saw Yuki fetching an arsenal of chemicals. That made me elicit a sigh of resignation.

"I see you are ready," Yuki noted dryly. "Well then… I prefer a certain pattern. Normally I start with the bathroom, then the windows, then the walls and ceiling and finally vacuuming the floor. In this particular apartment washing it would also be required, though easier than expected since it's laminate."

"Huh… Seems like not much."

"Hachi." Yuki tilted her head and looked at me disapprovingly to emphasize the point. "Please look around."

"…Point."

"Good then. This time I'll go through every step with you and either show or direct you. Just so you won't be afraid of it."

"I'm not afraid!" I shot back defensively. "Just…"

"Too lazy it is then." Yuki concluded with a satisfied nod and looked at me for added emphasis: "Hachi, it really isn't that hard. All you need is just do it regularly and often enough, then it becomes easy and hassle-free."

"If you say so."

"Let's start then. Take the gloves."

In the bathroom Yuki took a lime green bottle and sprayed the contents at the toilet bowl, then took another one and did the same to the stall and the sink. Yet another bottle and she lightly sprayed the walls.

"The acting chemicals are different for each one, though not by that much. Each one of them requires to wait for several minutes before wiping the surface. Again, that will be it if the cleanings are regular."

"How regular?"

"At least weekly but in some cases bi-weekly should do it."

"Huh."

"I the meantime please take that orange bottle and the microfiber cloth."

"Microwhat?- Oh, that." I finally bothered to read the inscriptions on the cloth package. "Hell's that mean?"

"That means several micrometers in diameter which is thinner than the normal cloth. Suitable for wiping glass for example. Which, coincidentally, we are going to do just now."

"Okay…"

"Good," Yuki continued after we approached the window. "Just spray the contents on the window from both sides."

"Alright." I did as told, first the inside, then the outside.

"You did great." Yuki covered her smile with her palm. "Now wipe it."

"Uh-huh."

"This is it. Now let's go back to the bathroom…"

Thus, one thing after another, me and Yuki went through the rest: the kitchenette, the walls, the floor. There was no characteristic sparkling everywhere like they like to draw in the manga, but the place now did look cleaner and fresher. After taking the gloves off and putting them, along with the cloth, into the proper containers, I sighed once again and glanced at the phone clock. A little over forty minutes.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you."

"You are forgiven." Yuki giggled, then suddenly because serious, to the point of being moody. "The washing machine will finish soon and I'd… like to hang my clothes and… underwear."

"Uhh…" Yeah, exactly. 'Uhhh'. "I guess, we can, what… hang it behind the clothes so it wouldn't be visible from inside the apartment?"

"And then not look up when we leave?" Yuki shook her head, partly aghast, partly exasperated. "I guess… this will have to do. Promise me you won't peek."

"Yeah, umm… you too."

Yuki fiercely blushed. Some time later I realized so did I.

"Well, either way…" She shook her head, as if chasing away unneeded thoughts. "One more thing left to do."

"Which is?.." I looked at her incredulously.

"Homework." She nodded to me confidently.

"Homework…" I said exasperatedly.

"Homework." She replied reassuringly.

"…Homework." I sighed despairingly.

"Homework!" She exclaimed demandingly.

"I give up. Homework."

Yuki lovingly smiled in response.

"Oh, I will be there for you. We'll finish up in no time. Please believe me."

* * *

The first thing happening after we've entered my home, which started to get confusing as either I now had to call two distinctly separate locations my _home_ , or start calling it my parents' home, which I probably should settle on…

Anyway, the first thing happening after we entered my parents' home, even before having taken off our shoes, was Kamakura.

Who was eagerly waiting by the threshold, apparently for Yuki to come into the house proper.

To then proceed to rub at her ankles, purring and trilling and occasionally even rising up on his hind feet to reach under her palm.

"Do you have this feeling that creature right there is not our cat anymore?" Mom, now propped by the wall with her hands folded, drolly asked no one in particular. "Because I do. Also hi kids, come in, don't be strangers."

"Hi Mom."

"Good evening, Hikigaya-san." Yuki barely managed to pry her eyes off the suddenly very cuddly furball by her left foot and nodded.

"Y'know, at this rate 'Ayahi-san' will suffice," Mom scratched her temple under her glasses' frame and nodded at the strange creature that used to be Kamakura. "I mean, what gives."

"Right," I gave the sight some more attention, then turned to Yuki: "Let's go to the living room for now. I guess you can grab him along."

"Will do," Yuki didn't even give it another thought as she switched her full attention to the cat and carefully put her hands under his belly. Kamakura took that in stride, sniffing her hands and actually nose-bumping her face as she turned him around.

"Gotta wait here for some time," I noted after returning from the kitchen with a juice carton and a couple of glasses; only now I finally allowed myself to give into overwhelming fatigue that my whole body seemingly consisted of now, unceremoniously plopping on the sofa by my girlfriend's side. Even Kamakura was barely succeeding at reviving her: we both had three hours at the conbini plus a ride here because she stubbornly refused to board the train, claiming she needed to ride the bike daily to gain any semblance of stamina.

She got what she desired for, that's for sure.

The only thing that gave us both some hope by the end of the day was a bath. An actual long wide bath in my parents' home which they wholeheartedly let us use on Saturdays. In fact both Mom and Dad were honestly surprised to learn we had a shower stall and not a bath, even if a tiny one like in their first three apartments; Dad muttered something about the greedy landlords and wishing them to descend into Netherworld only to then get stuck halfway because the oni in charge cut costs on the elevator. I decided not to comment on that.

So now we, well, were resting on the sofa, all the while in a serious need to stand up straight like the proud sentient humans we were and head to take a bath befitting that title.

"Al… right," I heavily swung off the couch in two deft if tired motions, then lent a hand to Yuki; she gently let go of Kamakura, then gladly took it and rose up to her feet with all the grace she could muster. "Ladies first then. I have to make my room presentable and stuff."

"Holding my breath for that," Yuki turned and waved to Kamakura, who actually "mrraow"'ed back in response. I only shook my head in defeat at that.

After saying "have a nice bath" to Yuki (which I sincerely meant by the way) I slowly started relocating myself in my room's general direction. At the same time I began making a mental list of things to fix: properly make my bed since it was one, two, three, four, right, four days since I had actually slept in it (what has my life become?..); check my desk and clear it up; confirm the wall rack with my _personal collection_ was there and hidden; check the room wasn't overly dusty in general; what else, hmm-

-Nevermind, new task: take care of one nasty pest, that's what.

"Ah-erm- good afternoon, big brother."

"Taishi… kun?" I finally managed a hard scrutinizing stare after blinking and shaking my head several times. The stare turned out entirely authentic, along with the low growl in my voice. "The hell?.."

That's right, the least welcome member of the big Kawasaki family, in the flesh. I'd be less surpries if I met a wild bear in a bedroom. In fact that bear would have been preferable. Anything would have been more welcome here than this pillow bug.

"I was told to await here by Hikigaya!" He suddenly rose up from _my chair_ stood up straight as if I was his drill sergeant or whatever. "As… as in your sister, big brother."

No! Call me a drill sergeant instead! That's Drill Sergeant Hikigaya to you and none other way! Especially very definitely _not_ "big brother"! I'm gonna be your worst nightmare, maggot!.. Or something.

"The hell you're doing in our house in general?" I finally managed to squeeze out of myself; I think it even was in a relatively polite tone.

"Hikigaya called me…" Taishi was starting to sweat under my glare. "That's true. She's changing before going outside."

"Outsi-"

Don't tell me.

No way.

No.

They're _not_ going on a date.

… Are they?!

That time in my life has finally come.

No matter how much I prepared myself to this time, even when I was telling myself I should _not_ allow that in the first place, the time nevertheless had come and that still hit me harder than the Truck That Delivers You to a Better World.

I now had to give my dear little sister The Talk.

Getting rid of this tick still standing before me was up next right after.

"Wait here."

Going to Komachi's room's door took me just a few very wide strides.

"Komachi?"

"Hey there Bro," came the muffled reply.

"Komachi-chan, dear, we need to talk."

"Ooohhhhhhh… First of all, how about you wait till I get changed then?" Now she sounded angry. "And second, if you touch Taishi-kun I'm not talking to you anymore ever. Go be with Yukino-san and leave me alone. I had enough from Dad already."

Way to go, Dad. Turns out you really were the family head after all.

"Also Mom said he's good, so you both buzz off, like, twice as much."

… Nevermind.

"We're trying to do what's best, you know…" I made the last attempt to resist.

"Yeah, yeah." My dear little sister very loudly sighed. Several seconds later the door opened, revealing me Komachi in a long skirt and a trendy striped cardigan over a blouse. Yep, dressed for a date.

Just what the hell did I miss as of lately?..

"Seriously, Bro. Stop this ritualistic nonsense. You're not the one to talk anyway." Komachi gave me The Look. "Heads-up time: I've known him for a year already."

Wha?..

"Don't make that stupid face. I'm just going out to town with him."

"At least take the pepper spr-"

"Brooooooooooo." Komachi drawled out in a weird mix of cute and angry manner. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Waiting for my turn to take a bath."

"Huh. Wait, what, I didn't take away my bath soa- Wait what?! Like, with Yukino-san?"

"She's there, yeah."

"Pheeew." She visibly relaxed. "Should've told me sooner."

"So, back to the topic."

"Oh god." Komachi grabbed me by the shirt and halfheartedly shook me back and forth couple times. "Bro, stop being stupid. I'm a big girl. Hard to swallow and stuff, I know. Hang in there. Go see the therapist. Slowly accept the fact. Okay, make that face couple more times if that helps."

"Not really." Finally giving up, I reached out and tousled her hair. "Whatever. If he does anything he's toast."

"Yeah, sure, I know." Komachi smiled at me. "You're the best Big Bro in the world. Even if a dumbass sometimes. Go check your date and I'll go check mine."

Some time later, after watching Komachi and Taishi head out and still feeling a weird mix of everything in no particular order, I finally heard the bathroom door being opened.

"What was the commotion about?" Yuki curiously asked, now all clean and considerably more fresh-looking.

"Yeah, well…" I suddenly felt at loss of words. "My sister had gone on a date apparently."

"Ohhhhhh," Yuki started giggling. "Nice day for a white wedding, I see. Or, in other words, your tribal instincts kicked in. I understand."

"Well…"

"Don't bug her phone or anything of the sort, please." She warily noted, her smile fading down a notch. "Please."

"I know, I know." I nodded and scratched my head looking away. "I promise I won't. We know how that goes."

"Quite. So, would you kindly lead me to your cave?"

"It's a room."

"My apologies, a room." Yuki nodded as if wholeheartedly accepting the correction.

"Come in then."

"Thank you." She entered, slowly tiptoeing to the center of my room and sending looks here and there. "Rather… neat."

"That's a high praise, coming from you."

"I appreciate your no doubt titanic effort at 'making it presentable', as you said."

"Uh-huh. Make yourself at home. I'll be back soon."

Some more time later, after realizing I actually _dozed off_ in the all too comfortable warm bath, I epically climbed out of it, dried myself, got dressed and returned to my room only to find Yuki slumbering on my bed, cutely curled up. Unsure what to do, I carefully sat down on my chair.

Yuki opened her eyes, tracked me and stared sleepily in my general direction, occasionally blinking; not carefully enough after all.

"I now know of one very important thing we desperately need in our apartment," She said sitting up and slightly shivering, her hair an adorable mess. "Even more than a bath."

"A bed?"

"A bed." Yuki confidently nodded. "A soft, warm bed."

The world had moved on without me and we now needed a bed.

Such was what my life had actually turned into.

* * *

Quiet shuffling nearby slowly woke me up. Opening my bleary eyes with considerable effort I saw just what I was expecting: Yuki planning to wake at eight in the morning on Sunday.

That promised horrible things.

For example, me being awake at eight on Sunday too. Which I technically already was, but that also meant actually doing something meaningful .

And that, that right there was _blasphemy_.

"Yuki." I outstretched my hand from my warm comfy blanket (notice my heroism) and caught hers. "Yuki! Yukiyukiyuki!"

"Wh… What did you just say?" She stopped to look at with an arched brow and lips slowly forming a smile.

"I have now had my revenge for yesterday." I made the most stern look I could produce given the circumstances. "And right now I'm preventing a crime against humanity."

"Which is?.." Yuki tilted her head.

"Waking up before noon on Sunday should be banned by the Geneva convention. It's a forbidden torture technique only criminal warlords in the darkest corners of the world use. It's more than a felony." I looked her square in the eye, after more or less succeeding in blinking off the remaining bleariness. "It's a _mistake_."

Yuki touched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"That was to be expected. Still, I'd rather not break my daily schedule even on Sundays."

"No way." I kept holding her hand. "You're now working three hours a day on top of school and homework, not to mention riding the bike. You need all the rest you can take."

That made her pause, looking elsewhere.

"Are you serious?" She demurely yet somewhat coyly glanced at me over her shoulder.

"I am saving you from yourself," I added with a fair bit of pathos. "Yeah, now I'm serious. You've cleaned the apartment yesterday, we both have. Today's shift is at six in the evening. Let me ask you just one entirely serious question."

"Proceed?"

" _What are you planning to do with all that free time on your hands, Yuki?_ " I asked with an expression most pained.

"Your lovely theatrics aside, the technical answer is either read or play," Yuki shook her head and carefully yawned into her free palm. "Alternatively, I can finish setting up my Vaio your parents generously donated to us."

"Yeah… alright," I blinked several times, but then firmly concluded: "But I still have to teach you the sacred art of Reading, Gaming and Doing Other Nice Things Without Getting out of Your Bed."

Yuki gave me a long considering look.

"If I become a slothful blob just like you, you will have to take responsibility."

"Great." I let go of her hand and pointed to the desk: "Now grab your laptop and get back into bed."

That's right, we finally got to check those. I handed Yuki the Vaio P as it was smaller to the point of being cutely petite, while Libretto-tan was fully mine now. "Mine" was an optimistic stretch though: the first thing I was greeted with was an entirely unfamiliar desktop I had never seen before. True, it wasn't exactly alien, but still elicited an impression of going to Saizeriya and finding out the inside was an unknown Italian food chain from a parallel world. Everything was there, yet at different places and looking different in general. Brief mail exchange with Dad answered my questions ("Hell's that?." "It's Linux Mint." "What's that? Why?" "Windows wi-fi drivers were shit"), but of course it did nothing to alleviate the feeling of weirdness.

Not so much for Yuki.

Yesterday it only took her a better part of an hour to look for something on her phone, figure out how to share mobile internet to her laptop and then there she was, browsing some strange bulletin boards and reading some pages that upon the first glance wouldn't be out of place in Cabbala or Necronomicon, applying the gathered knowledge by setting everything up to her liking. I was seriously thinking I would have to drag her to bed but Yuki, being Yuki, briefly glanced at the clock two hours in, promptly put Vaio-tan to sleep and went preparing for bed.

What was I going to do if my girlfriend would become like one of those weirdos from Computer Research club?.. Take responsibility, I guess.

Yuki meanwhile did return to the futon with her Vaio and curled up under the blanket.

"Awaiting instructions then, Sensei."

"Uh-huh…" I scrutinized her general posture. "Put a pillow under your back."

"And done."

"Uncurl a bit, make a mounting slope with your lap."

"Done."

"Put the laptop there."

"Alright."

"You're good to go…" I paused, then heavily stood up. "Almost. Let me get something to drink."

Yuki curiously watched me as I returned with a bottle of black tea and two cups.

"Now we're good to go."

My girlfriend took a long look at me. Then at her laptop. Then at me again.

"Next thing I know I'm eating sweets before dinner and going to sleep past ten in the evening." She finally smiled. "But you are actually right. It is quite cozy."

"Told you."

And thus the whole Sunday morning was utterly wasted on us lazing in our futons: me reading, Yuki typing something. My unspoken question was answered with "ledgering"; seeing yet another unspoken question right after the previous one Yuki explained she was noting down our spendings and earnings. I then cuddled her some and fixed her blanket, to which she squinted and tenderly head-bumped me.

After the noon had passed Yuki finally (very gently) kicked me out of bed. We had our breakfast dash lunch, then Yuki made simple yet delicious ham sandwiches for the express purpose of riding to the seaside park nearby to sit there, take some fresh air and kiss and cuddle in the meantime. Which we did, in no particular order.

"Yuki?" I asked a figure comfortably resting on my lap, eyes closed and face most serene, as we were sitting on the park bench.

"Purr?" The figure replied, opening her eyes and giving me a relaxed gaze.

"How do you feel?" I asked. "I kinda never asked since… back then."

Yuki's face became dark for a second. Moments later, though, she touched my hand stroking her hair and closed her eyes, savoring the feeling.

"I can't say I take stress well," she added thoughtfully. "It normally requires several days for me to recover from that state. Now, though… now I feel very evenly. Not bursting with happiness, but not feeling the pressure either."

Yuki paused to kiss the palm and ponder something.

"What do you know, an understanding boyfriend really helps," she chuckled. "And Yuigahama-san. And Hiratsuka-sensei. Kawasaki-san too. Suddenly I have so many people who don't hate me…"

"Shouldn't it be the same for everyone?" I looked at the sea absentmindedly.

"Even for you. Maybe loners do need a company after all, just the right one."

"Discovery of a century." I stroke her hair once again. "I was really afraid you won't recover."

"I will repay you all," Yuki suddenly became serious. "I promise."

"Hold your horses," I frowned. "No grand gestures please. I know you like this thing of yours."

"This thing?.."

"Making resolutions and being hell-bent on fulfilling them. And then we worry about you again."

"No need to remind me." Yuki pouted in response.

"Well…" I scratched my head, at loss of words for couple seconds. "Told you before. You're fine as you are."

"I probably never told you. So are you." Yuki rose up and hugged me, nudging into my chest. "Caring Hachi."

"Thank you." I hugged her back. "Cuddly Yuki."

For some time we half-sat, half-reclined like that, allowing chilly breeze to cool us. The soft breathing of the sea added soothing ambient noise.

"What time is it by the way?" Yuki finally asked, her tone very lazy and almost sleepy.

"Half past two." I replied after performing some complicated acrobatics to reach for the phone. "We still have time before work. And after work we'll get home. And sleep. And go to school."

"And then to work again." Yuki dreamily continued. "Weird as it sounds, I think this is what I would want to do with my life."

To that I could only shrug.

"Better than most."

* * *

"Hachiman!"

No.

"Hachiman, my man!"

No, please, gods, no.

"I art here right before thou!"

Nooooo.

"Well then… let it be so, Hachiman. I shall not bother you no more… I am departing… seriously…"

Breath in, breath out. I've dealt with worse. I can do that.

Surely I can dedicate some of my time to Yoshiteru Zaimokuza.

As a last resort, still retaining some fickle hope, I turned to the girls.

"We assign you as the honorary ambassador to Chuuniland," Yuki sensed my pleading gaze and immediately cut off all the rescue attempts, not even pausing while opening the window.

"Mhm, mhm," Yuigahama eagerly nodded in support.

"… Sensei?" I turned to Hiratsuka-sensei for help.

"Nope nope nope. Ain't engagin'," Sensei shook her head eagerly in response.

Closing my eyes, I sighed in defeat and slowly turned to Zaimokuza.

"…Hi."

"Ah-hum. At the long last! How do you do, my fellow friend of misery-" He abruptly stopped himself. "-nah, wait. You're not anymore. You're dating the Demon Superwoma- I-I mean Lady Yukinoshita."

Imagine what would happen if he learned we lived together.

"And Sir Totsuka has a vixen under his arm too now…"

Also imagine what would happen if he learned it's not _the same_ girl I saw him with last time. In a nutshell it was like this: I saw him walk into the classroom with Ondou, now sporting a black bob cut; I became slightly surprised by Ondou's looks so drastically changed but then shrugged it all off on the ground of maidens in love and all that; _then_ I turned my head away only to see Ondou actually at her seat looking at the lovely couple with slight annoyance but not exactly hostile. Upon a closer look Totsuka's lovely companion turned out to be a different girl entirely, not even from our class. Nevermind Zaimokuza, it started bewildering me myself.

And don't even get me started on the fact that Hayama-

Wait. Now that I think about it…

"Heh. Just saw Hayama during the homeroom break. He was with Isshiki and Miura-"

"That filthy _normie_!-"

"-and he was running away."

"-he should just slowly rot in a- say what?"

"He's right," Yuigahama sheepishly touched her bun. "Yumiko and Iroha-chan keep chasing him all the time."

"Even slapped him once each," I added, not even bothering to hide my glee.

"Wait, how do you know? They did at the inner yard."

"It was loud enough so I heard it in class," I smirked. "I think everyone heard it. A slap and right after that another slap."

"Stop laughing at Hayato," Yuigahama pouted. "It's not funny."

"From a certain point of view…" Yuki interjected, hiding a distinct giggle.

"Yukinon? Not you too! I get it, you rejected him and stuff, but…"

"My apologies," Yuki lowered her head, still stifling a giggle bout. "It was an unfortunate case of schadenfreude."

"Sh… Sha…"

"Schadenfreude," I repeated. "Experiencing joy at someone's misery. Absolutely despicable and regrettable."

Yuigahama angrily put her hands on hips.

"Stop being mean! As if you'd ever regret it. Enough with that scha-schadenfude."

"Schadenfreude," me and Yuki repeated in unison.

"Sha-den-fu-roi-de," I suddenly heard a whisper beside me: Zaimokuza was diligently writing it down in katakana.

"Zaimokuza," I melancholically said while propping my head on the arm, "don't tell me you found a new cool name for a superpower or something."

"Eh?! _Ah-hem_ ," Came the mighty billowing cough in response. "Anywho. I am here for for strictly business reasons this time."

"Another novel?"

"Certainly." He fetched a rather hefty pile of papers and handed it to me. Forget "rather", it was hefty. I did my best to straighten the pile into a more or less neat stack.

"Is it battle harem again?"

"Tis was a mistake of my youth!" Zaimokuza proclaimed. "I had since moved on."

"Isekai then."

"Guhhaaah! How did you guess?"

"Because you follow trends and don't even bother to use your imagination."

"Aghouu!" That stupid exclamation was accompanied by Zaimokuza clutching his heart.

"You also think making long convoluted sentences is the way to go."

"Ughaaa!"

"Just like all of them. Do you know that describing thoughtful looks and then jumping to a girl's knees in the same sentence is physically painful?"

"Hegooo!"

"… Is he enjoying this?" Yuigahama quietly mused.

"You could try it anytime yourself," I shot back. "I'm willing to switch."

"You're good as you are, Hikigaya." Sensei noted. "Maybe try freelance reviewing light novels? I think there's a position or two in Townwork."

"You think?"

"Yeah. You're not the reviewer the world needs, but a reviewer the world deserves."

"Sensei, the world we live in is not so bad as you make it out to be."

"Well… Extra money is extra money." I shrugged, then paused for a second and turned to Zaimokuza again. "By the way… You still want to marry a voice actress?.."

"Th-" Zaimokuza stuttered and assumed a darkly thoughtful pose. "That I still do. What of it? I am ready for all the mocking you can dish out at me."

"Nah. I mean… Why become an LN author for that? How about you try voice acting?"

"Hmpf. You tell me to abandon all my effort and break myself?! To put my very person to shame by putting an over-exaggerated performance?! To-"

Suddenly he felt silent. Sensing the unnatural silence, so did everyone. I realized the girls were now staring at Zaimokuza, as if contemplating something.

"My point exactly," I finally said to no one in particular.

"Guh…" He visibly deflated. "I am at loss of words. I have to ponder about that."

* * *

"Are you even sure he'd be a good at voice acting?.." Yuki pondered after we said goodbye to Zaimokuza. The latter, now seriously lost in thought, barely nodded back to us and headed for the special building's exit while mumbling and gesturing to himself.

"Probably better than at writing anyway," I shrugged. "Even if he fails he can still do writing."

"Strange," Hiratsuka-sensei pondered. "Never even thought about Zaimokuza from that angle."

"That is precisely what I appreciate Hikigaya-kun for," Yuki sent me a tender gaze, but then gradually scowled: "If only I could also deal with all the gazes from other… _women_. As of lately I'm seeing a lot of those."

"Ahhhh, that." Sensei laughed. "You've got to see the concept of pre-selection in practice."

"Like… Everyone sees Hikki with Yukinon and starts having second thoughts?" Yuigahama asked.

"Exactly. Stupid, really."Sensei turned to me: "Hikigaya. If you ever dare give in I swear I'll chop your balls off."

"I know, I know," I answered, irritated by the insinuation. "I'm not an idiot… Wait, why just me and not Yukinoshita too?"

After a pause I decided to add:

"And no, I won't let go. Ever."

* * *

On Monday I woke up feeling slightly dizzy, but didn't pay attention to it. Not to mention Yuki's cream soup for dinner made me forget about it along with most bad things in my life in general.

On Tuesday I woke up still slightly dizzy and feeling a faint headache during class, but yet again didn't pay any attention to it. Yasuda-san scolded me for almost dropping one crate when carrying it, though only briefly.

On Wednesday I went to sleep feeling mildly hot and the headache wasn't going away. Even my soboro and scrambled eggs bento, complete with Yuki's Monte Cristo sandwich, didn't inspire any appetite (though it did inspire one approving 'oooh' from Totsuka and his, what, third girl accompanying him already?..). Yasuda-san scolded me for a crate I did drop (fortunately only magazines inside), but then took a closer look and issued me a mask. I barely managed to convince Yuki I was fine and this would go away tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and I woke up distinctly shivering, with my head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton and splinters. The alarm clock was particularly obnoxious, and when I reached for my phone to turn it off its screen almost blinded me. After putting the blanket away I felt the shiver increase, and sitting up was harder than usual since I kept swaying.

"… Hachi?"

"Nah, I'm fine" is what I wanted to say; what came out instead was "Nmmmmmmlllllllklklkl" because suddenly I shivered so much my teeth started clacking. Under Yuki's increasingly panicking look I tried to stand up and failed. I felt blazing hot like a warmed up clothes iron and at the same time cold as if I was in a middle of January.

Great. I got a fever.

"Hachi?!" Yuki dashed out of her futon to the desk, still in her nightgown. She immediately returned carrying a black bag with a red plus sign on it for some rea- wait, it was a red cross. She brought a medkit. I vaguely remembered her packing it when we moved here. Probably hers. Thoughtful Yuki.

Though, this Thoughtful Yuki wasn't actually thoughtful, but now full-on panicking.

"Lie down! D-Don't move!"

"I-Itttt's finnnne," I weakly tried to protest and fight my clacking teeth at the same time. Obviously I failed.

Yuki meanwhile reached for the lock on the box but her fingers slipped. Sharply inhaling, she tried once more only to fail again. Sharp inhales increased. On the third attempt the box cracked open with too much force, scattering the contents on the floor. Yuki scanned the resulting pile with wide eyes, then reached for the thermometer; as she was about to put it in my mouth Yuki exclaimed aloud "what's the point it's obviously 39". Finally she reached my forehead with the back of her hand.

"You have a fever!"

I only nodded, not even trying to speak anymore.

"You d-do have a f-f-f-f… fever," she repeated the obvious, probably in a futile attempt to concentrate.

"Lie d-down…" Yuki then hastily fixed my pillow and covered me with a blanket, hurriedly tucking it everywhere.

"Give me a moment, give me a moment, give me a moment…" She took deeper breaths. "Cold compress. W-wait here, cold compress, cold compress, cold compress…"

I turned my head to follow her; Yuki dashed to the sink and stopped, sending wild looks left and right. Finally she grabbed the kitchen towel, shoved it under the cold water, squeezed and returned to me to put it to my forehead. Moments later ("a bowl for the cold water, idiot, idiot, idiot…") she headed to our kitchenette again and returned with the saute pan full of cold water; judging by the cracking sounds there were ice cubes there. "What now, what now aspirin- wait, bufferin" and she started searching the still scattered medicine on the floor. Moments later Yuki frantically grabbed two blisters and started unpacking one of them, then fetched two pills and turned to me.

"Oh g- water, one moment, sorry, sorry, sorry-" She rose up and dashed to the kitchenette yet again only to slip on one of the scattered blisters and ungracefully fall with a pained yelp. As she was slowly sitting up I found myself tossing the blanket aside (the cold, _the cold_ ) and shakily crawl to her.

"Ar-re you alr-rright-t-t?.."

She looked back with a pained wince, tears slowly forming in her eyes.

"Am I _that_ …" She whispered. "I said lie down. I will come back with w-water."

"But-"

"L-L-Lie down." She repeated, steadier now. "I am _so_ pathetic my own sick boyfriend will get up and console me. Lie down. I will come back soon. Lie down already!"

At least she was being stubborn again. I slowly complied.

"Here. It's bufferin," Yuki said offering me the pills and a glass of water. I gratefully swallowed them. "Good. What else beside the fever? Sore throat, mucus, coughs?"

I shook my head, but then coughed and immediately felt _hell_ : my head throbbed so much it was like being hit with a club once per second.

"Oh god," Yuki gently held my head. "I can feel your veins pulsing. Here's some ibuprofen. Now just lie down. I will prepare some chicken soup."

"S-sorry," I finally managed to steady my jaw. "J-just give me couple hours till the pills have effect-"

"You are staying at home today!" Yuki suddenly burst. "If you felt you were going sick why did you kept telling me everything was fine? Why- oh" she shifted to lower voice. "My apologies, I didn't mean to be so loud. But… why, Hachi?"

"Didn't want… to inconvenience you…" I finally uttered. "It's, y'know… stressful… all this…"

"It's stressful for you too for that matter you stubborn… all chivalrous… dumb… idiot…" Yuki balled her fists, but then sighed and uncurled them. "Look what you've done to yourself."

"I'm…" I wanted to apologize but then fully realized what I in fact had done. I was now going to miss a work day and probably so was Yuki. Unable to say anything I just turned away in shame. "I didn't mean to. Now you have to skip a day because of-"

"One day is _alright_. We have a window for miscellaneous spendings and won't be affected by that much." Yuki knelt beside me and touched my forehead with hers. "Goodness gracious, Hachi… Don't scare me like that…"

"… Yeah. Sorry." I reached for her head and carefully stroked it.

"Just lie still. I'll go prepare the soup."

The rest of the morning, while really seriously uncomfortable due to my body heating up like a boiler and refusing to even move properly, was actually peaceful and with no significant events whatsoever. Yuki called Hiratsuka-sensei and told her we both wouldn't go to school today. Sensei clarified what was wrong with me and what medicine Yuki had issued; I barely remembered the whole dialog. The soup Yuki gave me was hot, salty and delicious. I finally drifted off to sleep, though had to wake up twice to go to the bathroom, actually gathering enough strength to have a shower during the second one. Yuki, now calmed down, was by my side at all times: stroking my hair, replacing the compress, curling up and simply watching me.

When I finally woke up fully it was just half past five in the evening. I felt considerably better, overly weak from dehydrating but at least able to function without shaking.

Beside me Yuki was reading something.

"Hey." My voice was still hoarse.

"Awake already?" She asked, putting the book aside and touching my forehead with hers.

"Yeah. I'll live."

"That is the most uplifting news as of lately." She straightened the hair on her head as she sent me a somewhat exhausted gaze.

"Shouldn't you… go… to work?" I asked carefully.

"No. I'm staying with you."

"You don't have to."

"I do." Her gaze turned more stern.

"You don't."

"I do."

"I'm speaking full sentences and not shaking. Sure, can't go outside but will manage without you. No need to lose today's earning. Just go."

Yuki drew a long, pointed sigh.

"… I will text you in thirty-minute intervals. If you don't respond or if there's anything, _anything_ , I'll come to you."

"Hour intervals." I glared.

"… Forty five minute intervals." She glared back.

Silly, weren't we.

"Fiiine. Just go already."

"Will do," Yuki finally smiled and gave me a light kiss. "But at least make yourself presentable."

After she left I did as instructed and then found myself in out empty apartment. Which, with just me around, was positively eerie. I got used to Yuki being around too much too fast.

What should I do now…

Tossing my sweat-soaked sheets into the washing machine only got me occupied for an hour, with Yuki's first text indeed coming in exactly forty-five minutes; right on schedule. I chuckled and replied to it while waiting for the machine to complete the cycle. I was left with nothing to do once again.

Idly gazing here and there I found my lonely Libretto lying on the desk, so I took it and started making some finishing touches to the desktop; fortunately Yuki gave enough tips and showed me some more complex stuff. While I was at it I suddenly thought about some sort of a backup work I could pick up. Preferably something that required just my laptop. Not programming, poor ol' Hachiman was a bit too inflexible for that (shame on me); but, maybe, hm, reviews? Just as Hiratsuka-sensei proposed.

They're not supposed to be uploaded every day, there's just five-ish thousand word essays to submit, what's not to like?

… Apart for the fact there's probably a couple thousand competitors who were thinking exactly the same. And the fact it was a test of my potentially non-existent writing skills.

I stared blankly at my laptop for some time, came to terms with my fate and finally laid my hands on the keyboard.

By the time Yuki had returned, tired as usual yet worried, I have already applied myself to write a review for the first volume of an upcoming light novel with a long-ass title. If everything was going to be okay, I would be paid around 4000 yen for 3000 words by the end of the month. Even the requirement to buy my own copy wasn't that bad.

That, along with my fever going away completely by the next morning, made me progressively happier, which extended to the whole next day.

It only disappeared in the evening when we returned from work and found a familiar black limo by the entrance of our condo.

* * *

Sensei, you were right on the money. Even though we never made that bet.

It was at that very moment I realized I barely ever thought about the, in hindsight, inevitable meeting.

Sure, I now lived together with my girlfriend who angered her mother so much she was booted out of the family. And we had to work to pay for our food and housing. And make long-distance bike trips to school. And returned exhausted to the bone. And could only have a proper hot bath once a week.

But, honestly, and I myself was very surprised I was telling that… it was nothing tragic. Nothing really hard, honestly. I could say for both of us that, over the course of these 10 days, it all fell into a groove. I would wake up to see a sleepy comfy Yuki. We would then eat nice food we had prepared, ride to school, buy stuff at the grocery store, have our shifts, return home and be all cute and cuddly together. Aside from that literally nothing had changed: not our pastimes, not our homework, not the way we spent the evenings.

It was such pure bliss I forgot about the Yukinoshita matriarch entirely. That made her appearance all the more impactful. And by "impactful" I mean "a sledgehammer to the gut".

I felt characteristic sinking in my stomach. What was I supposed to do now? What should be the words to say to someone who ignores your existence, someone who's more powerful and well-connected? What was I supposed to _do_?

All I could do now was to feel Yuki start taking deep breaths and, gradually, shake. Gently squeezing her hand helped with the deep breaths, but the shaking never quite went away completely.

The limo's door meanwhile opened and a figure in a lush kimono stepped out. All of Yuki's features: the beautifully sculpted face, the mane of gorgeous black hair neatly composed into an intricate hairstyle, the elegant movements. The only distinct exception was her eyes: black, and cold, and calculating even when she politely smiled and nodded in our direction.

"Good evening, Yukino." She started, evenly, in a moderate yet articulated manner honed by years of practice. "Are you well? I am asking out of genuine concern here, despite how the last time we spoke turned out. I have been worried, after all."

Yuki tensed and squeezed my hand, to the point I felt nails starting to dig into my skin.

"Yukino?" Kei Yukinoshita's tone became worried; she slowly started approaching us. "Is something wrong?"

Yuki opened and closed her mouth several times. Her mother finally stopped maybe two meters before us.

"Yukino? Please, tell me."

Yukinoshita-san's tone was sincere… yet Yuki was trembling in fear. It took me some time to realize so did I. Why, though? There literally was not a single reason to feel fear.

Yet… why?

"G…" Yuki swallowed. "Good evening… Mother. I am… well."

Yukinoshita-san let a small sigh of relief.

"Then perhaps you could just say so. How do you think it feels for a mother when her daughter just disappears without a word? And then not a call, not a mail, not even a note relayed by anyone. Please don't do it like that again. It is very hard to live through situations like this. You won't, won't you?.."

Wait.

She was the one who told Yuki she was disowned. Why was she asking those questions as if Yuki was some sort of a rebellious runaway?

"Yukino?"

'Don't reply, don't reply don't reply!' is what I wanted to say, but couldn't open my mouth. I was terrified, anxious, in a neverending fight-or-flight mode and I couldn't even figure out why.

Yuki kept quiet. Yukinoshita-san sighed again and lowered her eyes.

"You are still angry with me, aren't you? I suppose that yes, you are. That was inevitable after those words we've exchanged, I should have expected it. And I forgive you for that."

Didn't Yuki say she only once said "no" to you? Unless she was a pathological liar that wasn't what you'd call "exchange".

And what did she forgive Yuki for?

What was she talking about?..

"Will it help if I say it was not an easy decision to make?" Yukinoshita-san meanwhile continued. "In retrospect, probably not even a right one at that. I willfully admit it: I let my patience run out when teaching you the right values in life. I would never do such a horrible thing as disown you in the clear state of mind. My sincerest apologies for that. What I wish right now is that we mend our relationship. So…" She paused. "I humbly welcome you back."

Yuki still kept quiet.

"Yukino? Perhaps it is all hard to swallow right now." Yukinoshita-san nodded. "I understand. You need some time now. I can wait. Just tell me when to send the movers, tomorrow morning or evening."

… What? What kinda choice is that?

 _Exactly_ , it hit me. There was no choice. There never was a choice.

All niceties, no listening. I felt hair rise on the back of my neck.

"… Is that what she had to live with all her life?" I suddenly heard myself saying aloud. "Why did you turn it in such a way _she's_ guilty for everything? You didn't even listen to what she says!"

Yukinoshita-san moved her eyes at me, then back to Yuki. No movement otherwise.

"Stop ignoring me! I'm right here!"

She actually waited when I stopped talking, then spoke.

"Yukino, I am not and will not be angry at you. So, will you?"

"N…No," Yuki hoarsely whispered, then repeated in a more steady voice: "No."

Yukinoshita-san made a sad smile.

"I understand. Evening it is then."

That was it.

Any sort of respect or good will I had to that woman disappeared. I realized I stopped caring what she would do to me. All I felt was _anger_.

But just as I opened my mouth I felt a tug from Yuki.

"Hachi." Surprisingly, her voice was now steady. No deep breaths, no shaking. In fact, she was looking at me with grim determination.

"… Yeah?" I turned to her, bewildered by an abrupt shift in her composure.

"I'd like to ask your opinion… as a resident master contrarian." We both briefly smiled at the joke; weird feeling, all circumstances in mind. "Is cutting off all communication also a form of communication?"

For a second I stood stupefied, not quite comprehending what Yuki just said. Out of a corner of my eye I saw the Yukinoshita matriarch frown, but otherwise say nothing.

"Well…" I replied. "Yeah. Just… I believe the right term is 'passive-aggressive'."

"I'm fine with being passive-aggressive." Yuki confidently nodded. "As it stands, I have neither means nor legal reasons to be active-aggressive. I…"

She looked at me again, seemingly steeling her resolve.

"I'm walking away. She so pointedly ignores what I say… I feel I have no choice. We will return to our apartment through the neighboring alley. There'll be a lot of noise in every meaning of the word if she tries to stop us. We can call the police in the worst case scenario. They'll listen. Unlike her."

"Are you sure she can't buy them?"

"Our family is not that influential," Yuki shook her head. "In fact I am not sure as to who started the rumor we are some ancient clan."

That was it. Yuki was engaging into a conflict. That meant I was caught in the crossfire.

Though… Didn't I promise I'd take care of her? Wasn't I disgusted by her family's attitude? Even if that would bite me in the arse with poisonous teeth later, at the moment I let all pessimistic thoughts go.

"Yes. I'm with you."

"Then…" Yuki finally smiled. "Shall we?"

With that we turned and started walking to the station.

Before I could fully comprehend just what we both have done here I heard buttery-polite voice with a tinge of acid:

"You are making a grave mistake, Yukino. I take my words back. I don't regret anything anymore: I should have doubled down. Manhandle you into a basement if needed. Don't think you can just walk away like that. I will reach you anywhere. I won't let you live anywhere near here."

"She's bluffing," Yuki whispered. "It's another family's property."

"You won't make it into any self-respecting university in the country."

"Same," Yuki replied to herself as we walked away. To be honest, it was now my turn to shake slightly. What if Yuki was wrong?

"Come back you insolent impudent little cu-"

And it all was interrupted by a loud _slap_ and a brief yelp of pain. Startled, we turned to the source of the sound.

Kei Yukinoshita was now rather unceremoniously sprawled on the hood of the limo, nursing her burning red cheek. The sight would have been almost comical if not for a menacing figure standing near her.

A rather tall elderly man, of the "old but still strong and hardened" kind. Neat gray suit, carefully crafted hairstyle, sharp features.

This man used his right hand he just had slapped Yukinoshita-san with to fix his tie, then rolled his neck; all in livid motions you'd really expect from a serial killer, a thought crossed my mind.

Then the man spoke, calmly but with a pronounced edge in his voice:

"I leave for a business tour two weeks prior and it's all fine and good. My lovely wife is a controlling manipulative bitch as usual but recently she's relatively quiet, so okay. My elder daughter's hanging with some shady dudes and is a bit dodgy on the college attendance but fine, just as always. Won't complain, coulda been worse. My youngest is still in her apartment and not intending to come home any time soon, but alright, she's in fact in a club and with some friends, holy dicks from hell, progress. Now, I come back home, my younger's told she's _disowned_ , Haruno is in the hiding and no one, not a single soul, can tell me why. And a cherry on top for that is my dear wife is apparently officially off her trolley. Why fucking hello there."

Yukinoshita-san tried to slowly stand up, but stopped under the man's glare.

"The brain you had, _dear_. Tell her she's disowned. What if any of my business partners learned? Eh? Any response on that? And then you thought of an even better idea, hm? Like, how about you go to their place so the whole block would watch a free episode of one of those reality TV shows you watch all the time. What was that foreign one? Ah, right, 'Keeping up With the Yukinoshitas'. The _brainprower_ you have. The _genius_ mind."

"… Do you seriously think you can get away with that?" Yukinoshita-san finally spoke, steadily and menacingly.

"Yeah?" The husband cocked his brow in amusement. "Why not? What are you gonna do to me?"

"Have you forgotten who are you without me?" She practically hissed at this point. "Let me remind you then. A welder at a shipyard slowly closing off because the Koreans are better at building ships."

"A _happy_ welder, mind you. Without you in sight." He threw a glare at her again. "You know, that's an idea. How about I just toss you back to that dying village in Aomori you're hailing from? How. How did I fall for a typical village bum from a dirt poor family who thought she just needed to marry a right man. How. No, really, I can fix it all. Have your old folks work you to the bone on those pretty-looking rice fields up north. Just gotta convince them not to drown right there in the fields outta shame."

He raised his hands and dropped them again, all in that same livid manner.

"Nah, really. Marrying off Yukino to the Hayama's boy. The brilliance. You can swap his balls with a pair of _soybeans_ and he'd still be more a man. Errrrrrgh."

He heavily sighed and tiredly turned his head to the driver who had been wisely silent during the whole exchange.

"Tsuzuki? Be a buddy, hop her back to the mansion, will ya? I'll take a taxi when I'm done with those two. If she so much as tries to get away it's her fault entirely. An' if she tries to do something to you, tell me. I know she will. Never one to be convinced anything. A'ight? Thanks."

After the limo had left I realized I was there throughout all the tirade, entirely speechless. Since I didn't hear a single thing from Yuki the same was true for her too.

"That was…" I half-whispered, "colorful."

"He's from Hakodate," Yuki solemnly replied. "A former dock worker. Now it's all too easy to forget."

"I probably should have covered your ears."

"No, I should have covered yours."

"Hey, princess," The man meanwhile finally approached as we were discussing the recent events. "Sorry for the dynamic entry. Was seriously pissed off. A'ight then…"

He stopped just short of us and gave me a long scrutinizing stare, head to toe and back. For a second I felt like shrinking right there.

"Seriously? This kinda guy? Well, he's better than Hayama, but that ain't a high bar to clear in the first place. Just, you know… He looks right like the boys in the docks. You sure?"

Yuki just grabbed my hand and straightened up.

"Very sure, father."

"Uh-huh…" The man switched his attention to me. "Name's Hiroaki Yukinoshita. Yours?"

"Uh… Hachiman Hikigaya, sir."

"Doesn't ring any bells… Think it's for the better though. Wife always has those plans 'let's marry her off to this rich guy', 'let's marry her off to that rich guy'. I can barely keep her in check these days. Like a brothel mistress or something."

I decided to keep quiet on the last statement.

"So, you're dating Yukino."

"Yes, sir." I replied carefully.

"And you're serious."

"Yes, sir."

"I ain't asking. Y'know those concrete wavebreakers at the shores everywhere around here? Guess where you'll be if you ever made her cry."

I fully understood what he was doing, I really did. After all, I probably wasn't that much different whenever matters regarding Komachi arose. Just… There was one thought lingering in the back of my head. One very important thought, stemming from a resolution I made several days ago (which now felt like eternity).

After spending several moments to form the thought properly I spoke up.

"Sir… Can I ask you a question?"

He cocked his head with an intrigued face.

"Heh, that's interesting. Go ahead."

"Will you… cast your wife and eldest daughter into those first?"

That made him look sideways and laugh bitterly.

"Hah. Bullseye. Can't unfortunately. Our lovely snake pit of a family must uphold appearances. The _dis_ appearance of a family member is kinda in the way of that… but I like your thinking."

"Then… Will you leave your daughter to me? I promise I won't do her no harm." I bowed at the last part. Yukinoshita-san in response shoved his hands into pockets and gave me another once-over.

"Nah, look at this guy. Reeeal cocky. You think it's that easy? Now tell me, what good would you be to Yukino?"

As I said, I understood him fully. And while I could never give a fully correct answer, I could offer the next best thing: something I myself would accept if anyone asked me for Komachi's hand.

"We're paying the rent to her apartment together."

A long pause started.

Finally, Yukinoshita-san pursed his lips and nodded.

"Yeah. That's what I had to hear. But if you ever, ever, ever! make her cry, I'll get to you. You have my word on that."

"While you are busy deciding who I belong to," Yuki interjected in a put-upon tone, "I would like to… ask for some favors."

"Oh come on, what favors? Anything for you."

"Well then…" Yuki touched her chin for a second. "First of all, what is the status of my school's tuition fee?"

"Uhhh… It's paid already last time I checked. Aaaaahhhhh, of course. My wife we're talking about here. Yeah, I'll check again."

"Thank you." Yuki bowed for good measure. "And second… I want things to stay as they are. At first I was seriously afraid I wouldn't make it. Maybe I still won't… After all, it's only been a week. But still, I want to live with Hikigaya-kun. And most importantly, I'm choosing my own path. I'm going to the university I select and I'm paying my own tuition. In the very worst case, I will ask for a loan from you that I'll return later. Whether I'm working for a big corporation or standing by the cash register for the rest of my life, I am asking you to accept it. Is… is that an adequate request?"

"What are you talking about? Just what I wanted to hear from you all my life. Beats you being a wallflower all the damn time."

"Thank you, Father," Yukino let go of my hand to make a deep formal bow, then took it again. "It also would greatly help me if you help me by keeping your wife in check from now on."

"She's still your mother-"

"She is not!" Yuki suddenly raised her voice.

"Teenagers," Yukinoshita-san raised his eyes skyward. " _Women_. You do realize she's still your mother, right?"

In response Yuki only narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, okay," Yukinoshita-san sighed in resignation. "A story for another day. Fine then. I promise. And, young man…"

Seeing his outstretched hand, I hesitantly reached for a handshake. The handshake was painfully strong, but only for a brief moment.

"Not so bad," Yukinoshita-san noted. "Tentatively."

Just as his taxi cab had finally left Yuki suddenly grabbed me with both her hands and pulled me in a tight hug.

"It's over."She mumbled into my chest. "Finally… Finally… Finally…"

"Right." I held her back and, surprising even myself, started gently rocking left and right with Yuki still in my arms.

"I can't even…" Yuki trailed off, still swaying.

"I know." I buried my nose into her hair. She briefly giggled at that.

"Fetuccini Alfredo?"

"Sure."

"Or macaroni and cheese?"

"Or that."

"So which one is it?"

"Anything by you is fine. Told you that once."

"Oh you flatterer you."

At the moment I didn't want to do anything more, just revel in this feeling of immense relief. Just us two, in a middle of the street, hugging and caressing each other and smiling. We would go back to our apartment and relax. Tomorrow we'd clean it, do the homework and go to my parents' house to take a much awaited bath. On Sunday we'd laze around. I would ask for nothing more.

We were only interrupted by a series of buzzes from my pocket. As I opened the phone I was presented with a string of messages from Komachi. In a bewildered tone clearly evident from the contents she notified me Dad had Mom change into something snazzy and dragged her to an honest-to-god date, and now they've just returned and he carried her into the bedroom princess-style.

That was so out-of-place, yet so fitting along with the recent chain of events, that me and Yuki simply started laughing, and laughed for five minutes straight.

I would say many things about that life of mine, but I would never complain.

 _A/N: So while I was busy procrastinating Volume 14 is finally out and, according to spoilers, even has a proper HachiYuki ending. For some time I personally thought Watari would go full Murakami on us. While it's one less reason for me to write this story it's a) too little too late, b) my headcanon is better (- tall claim again) and c) gotta finish what I started. Not to mention I'm almost there._

 _So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year folks._


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